


Seasons of the Light- Season 13

by Kirabaros



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Drama, F/M, Family, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:40:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 56,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22357327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kirabaros/pseuds/Kirabaros
Summary: Lucifer's son Jack is born and it is a whole new world out there along with the fact Cas and Mary are gone. Sam and Dean along with Angela try to work it out. One shot tags to season 13. Set in the Chronicles of Absolution verse.
Relationships: Sam Winchester/Angela (OFC), Sam Winchester/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1





	1. 13.01 Finding the Lost Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack is taken in by the Winchesters but seems to make the most connection with a certain dhampir who will protect him no matter what. Tag to Lost and Found.

_You._

_Impossible._

_The fear was palpable. He could sense it even though the pain in his head was throbbing. The ones that had come for him… they were afraid. They were afraid of her. But he wasn’t._

Jack looked at the woman that was staring at the funeral pyre. She was staring at the flames as they consumed the body of Castiel, the one who was supposed to be his father. They one who was supposed to keep him safe. It was why he grew up so fast. But she would keep him safe too.

When those that made that sound in his head came, she came. She walked right in and told them to stop. She stood between him and the one that tried to kill him. He was stabbed but he was fine. That didn’t matter. The woman grabbed the one that stabbed him and… he wasn’t sure because Sam stabbed it too.

What touched Jack the most was how she came to him. She asked him if he was okay and she looked him over. He liked her touch and he was able to show that he was fine. He really was and that was all that seemed to matter to her. She did say something when she just hugged him. It was warm and gentle.

The fire burned and Jack looked at her. Sam and Dean had expressions that he could only grasp as sad on their faces. Hers… it was different. She just stared at the flames as the body turned to ash. There was no emotion but he knew she was hurt. Her right shoulder drooped in pain. He wanted to ask but he couldn’t. Instead, he stood there silently with them.

It was later when they arrived at the bunker that he was able to talk to her. He blinked as she took him off and gave him a room, ignoring the look Dean shot her way. She stayed by him, making sure he was comfortable and then she took her leave. He decided to follow and found her in the library with Sam and Dean. He paused and listened to the conversation.

“You can’t treat him like he’s normal, Angie,” Dean was saying. “He’s not our normal.”

“Jack is as normal as it gets.”

“And you go using his name. And we know what happens with that.”

“You’re just lucky all he used was a scream to incapacitate you. Think of what I would have done since you decided to shoot him first before asking anything.”

“He’s dangerous Angie,” Dean countered. “He’s evil and you know it.”

“Don’t even go there,” she replied, “No one born evil. And it’s not fair to judge someone for something they haven’t or will not do. If anything, Jack is like when I first met Castiel. It’s endearing.”

“Great. Now I know you won’t let go.”

“I can’t and I won’t, Dean. He’s just a kid.”

Jack had heard footsteps and was prepared to hide so he wasn’t noticed. He listened as they paused and then shifted. He then heard Dean’s voice, “He may be a kid, Angie. But that don’t make him like you. You’re different. Always have been.”

“He’s a person, Dean. He can and will learn the difference.”

“He better.”

Jack heard the tone in Dean’s voice. He frowned in puzzlement. While it seemed that Dean didn’t like him, he was giving him a chance. The woman... Angela or Angie, she… He tensed when he heard footsteps and Dean saying, “I hope you’re right Angie. You usually are.”

Jack waited, making sure that Dean was out of sight and out of mind. He didn’t want to run into him just yet. Then he heard, “You can come out, Jack. I know you’re there.”

Jack blinked and peered out from his hiding place. He saw Angela looking at him, like she was waiting for him come out. Slowly he emerged and took tentative steps towards her. “H-how… how did you know I was…?”

“How you were there?” Angela smiled at Jack like she was amused at something. She waited until he nodded before explaining, “Let’s just say that I have a sense of things.”

Jack blinked and looked at her. He finally came to the conclusion, “You can smell me.”

Angela smiled at him. “Points for you,” she said. She circled Jack and came to lean against one of the tables. She crossed her arms over her chest and looked at him. “So… what are you going to do now that you know a few things?”

Jack looked at her. “I… don’t know.”

“A statement that possesses more wisdom than implied,” Angela countered, “Good one.”

“I was not intending to…”

“I know,” Angela interrupted gently, “And I could list statistics of accidentally getting it right at a certain point.” She looked at Jack.

Jack looked at her. He wasn’t comfortable with the staring but he figured that it was something to get used to. He decided to go with what he overheard and asked, “Do… do you think that I’ll… be what Dean says?”

It almost seemed like an eternity until Angela shook her head slightly, “I believe that it will be up to you. Most children emulate their parents. Learn from them. From what I gathered, you learned quite a bit of Cas.”

“Cas?”

“Short for Castiel.”

Jack frowned at that but then nodded. “My mother said he would keep me safe.”

“And he has. He has… done the duty he swore to me.” Angela rubbed her shoulder absently.

Jack watched her face contort with pain as she rubbed her shoulder. “Did his dying hurt you?”

Angela studied Jack before replying, “Very much.”

“Is that why you didn’t cry or be sad?”

“No.”

Jack was puzzled by that response. He could tell she was hurt but she wasn’t sad. It made it sound like it was complicated. He frowned as he tried to process what he was hearing.

“I am sad,” Jack,” Angela said, “I am sad that he is gone and this…” She gestured at her shoulder, “This is proof.”

Jack remembered that. After the funeral pyre, he watched as Sam tracked her down and checked her shoulder. It looked angry and red, like she had been burned. He could make out a design on the back of her shoulder when Sam cleaned it and covered it. “Your… marking?”

“You are right in that Cas would protect you. It is what he does and has done. Especially for me.” Angela pushed off from where she had been leaning and approached Jack. She walked slowly so as not to startle him. When she was close enough she added, “And it is what I will do for you. I will protect you as I protect my daughter.”

“Jess.” Jack had overheard the name when Sam and Angela were talking. “I overheard the name,” he offered.

“It’s okay,” Angela replied as she reached out and touched Jack’s hair.

Jack watched as she did the motion without hesitation, no fear. It was like it was a gesture that was done repeatedly but naturally. He let out the breath he was holding when he felt her fingers brush his hair gently. No one had touched him like that before, except for her. It gave the same warm feeling he felt when she checked to make sure he wasn’t hurt. He said shyly, “I… I like that.”

Angela smiled as she continued to do it. It was quiet in the library as Angela continued to stroke Jack’s hair. She would occasionally hum in her throat but that didn’t change the feeling of safety and contentment Jack was feeling. They stayed like that until Sam came in holding a baby that squealed when she saw him.

Jack noticed the hesitancy in Sam and looked at Angela. She was looking at Sam with a look that said nothing to him but Sam seemed to understand. He saw Sam relax a little. He looked at both of them and they seemed to be caught up in some sort of silent communication since Angela stopped touching his hair. He focused on the baby.

The baby looked at him and squealed, smiling even. She wasn’t afraid of him. It puzzled him and he slowly reached out with his forefinger. His intention was to poke her on the cheek to see what would happen. It never made it there since he hand clamped on his finger and held onto. Jack tried to pull back but she didn’t let go. He peered at her and noticed golden flecks dance in her green eyes. He looked at Angela and then Sam who were looking at him, not with fear but with other things. He remembered what his mother also said, about the one who would come and bring light. The one whose name was beloved.

Things may be a little awkward but… Jack was certain that things would be okay. He knew Angela wouldn’t let anything hurt him and Sam seemed to be on the same side. He felt lost in this world but he thought he could figure things out.


	2. 13.02 The Rising Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angie understands Jack's fears. She wants to teach him. It will just be hard with Asmodeus around. Tag to Rising Sun.

He was supposed to be dead. She had killed him. She was certain of it. She had decapitated him with Absolution and that was because he had threatened her family. Now he was threatening Jack and she wasn’t happy about it.

The whole situation was not the best of circumstances. Jack had been born. He was the son of Lucifer and arguably the most powerful of Nephilim she had seen. That meant angels and demons coming out of the woodwork. That was secondary to Angela. Primary was seeing a boy in trouble. And that was what had her at odds with Dean.

She knew where Dean was coming from but she found it irrational on his end. Sam saw it as a chance of redemption for Jack as of sorts. For her… she saw the immediate need of a boy needing a friend and comfort. Her motherly instincts kicked in and they butted heads with Dean’s protective instincts and irrational fear, anger and hatred. And they refused to back down.

She had settled it saying that she was protecting the kid and she actually vamped out in front of Dean, letting her eyes glow to signal she meant it. It was probably a first in a long time since she did that to either brother but she knew that she was going to have to essentially show her more aggressive side and not in the pleasing intimate manner she and Sam occasionally had and liked.

Jack took to her like a child would to a mother like figure. It seemed to be the natural inclination of children and had been a gentle joke mostly from Sam. Kids responded to her and she responded back. Even the tough kids responded to her. Jack was no different but it had her want to smirk at times since his manner reminded her so much of Castiel when she first met the angel. She laughed when Jack imitated Dean when they had their late night dinner. Then Donatello came.

She had liked the man when they met and she understood him quite well. He certainly remembered her and almost looked puzzled when he realized she was no longer pregnant. She didn’t bring out baby pictured but she elaborated that Jess was healthy and happy. Then the conversation turned into a nasty one regarding Jack and one that had her just as angry as Dean was getting. She defended Jack vehemently and would have had a few choice words if Jack hadn’t made them both Angel Air out of there.

It was disorienting at first but she got over it and turned towards Jack. He was sitting on the crates and huddled against the wall. He looked at her and asked, “What am I?”

“You are a Nephilim,” she replied in an almost clinical tone. She pulled a crate out to sit across from him. “Half human. Half angel.”

“What am I?”

“I just told you, Jack,” Angela replied, not giving into Jack’s heated demand. Rather she used her empath, letting calming waves flow and pulse. “That is the what. I think the better question to ask is who you are. There is a difference.”

“What do you mean?”

“I am half human, half vampire. That means I can hurt people to live since I do need blood if sick or seriously hurt. I have been told that I was once an angel but my grace was stripped and was sent here and have been reincarnated.” Angela leaned forward to rest her forearms on her knees. “Who I am… My name, my chosen name is Angela. I was born Catalina de Medici. I like to get into fights on occasion and have been told that I have artist quality in anything with fine arts. I play piano, sing, paint, sketch and can sew clothes. I got into hunting because of my father. He was a vampire but he helped people. I help people because I have seen the bad things out there. I love people. I believe that we aren’t determined by our origins. If that were the case…”

“Dean would have killed you.”

“Exactly. I think you are a good kid. Just a learning process.”

They ended up talking some more until Sam found them. She had to tease him a little since by now he could easily track her if he wanted to. And he wasn’t too worried since she was fine and she wouldn’t let anything bad happen to Jack. By then, Jack was more comfortable with her and willing to stay with them and it wasn’t like he had anywhere else to go. That was until the demon found them.

Angela was certain she had killed Asmodeus. Sam and Dean both had been there and they were as shocked as she was when they finally caught up to her. She had noticed Jack was missing and had taken off without a word. She ran the entire way, not caring if she was the strangest thing to hit Jasper, Wyoming. The only thing in her mind was to get to Jack.

It was reflexes kicking in when Asmodeus saw her and tried to use his abilities against her. She felt the constriction but fought it and sent a pulse of energy outwards towards the demon. She was pissed. She called out to Jack saying, “Jack, don’t open it. It is not what you think.”

Jack looked so confused as she tried to explain. At the time the demon or prince of hell was disguised as Donatello. That is until Dean shot him and the façade went away. It gave Angela the upper hand as she advanced with the intention to kill the demon. “I killed you before,” she said. “And I can do it again.”

“You only think you killed me. The doppelganger was my best toy yet. Looks like a duck and walks like a duck.” The demon looked at her and glared, “And all because of you. I can’t believe that you still are in existence. Your other half will be easy to find.”

Angela didn’t fall for that ruse but it had her wondering about the thing she did decapitate. She didn’t have time to think about it since the demon used his powers on Sam, Dean and Donatello. He tried to use them again on her but she fought it off. Until he used them to slash at her skin.

It felt like when she had been caught in a windstorm and debris was flying. Flying sticks and debris hitting and scratching you… It stung like hell and when you had it all over your body, it was like getting bee stings. She used her forearms to protect her face as she advanced since the wind was trying to blow her back. Each step brought on more punishment and she ended up vamping out.

At the same time, Jack turned on the demon, angry that it was hurting his friends. Angela heard him call them friends and it sparked a sense of pride and she fought harder. She straightened her frame and drew on her powers, letting the firestorm whirlwind that was associated with them start to build. Standing with Jack made a formidable sight and the demon left and the gateway to hell closed. Angela was able to take a breath before turning to look at Jack.

The kid looked scared at what he had done. She understood that and walked up to him and gave a gentle hug and a kiss to the forehead. It was rather forward but she didn’t care. She was proud that Jack made his choice and decided not to open the gate. In her mind, that was the first steps and a sign that the kid was not Dean’s assertion. Not that she believed it in the first place.

“You had wings.”

Once they had made it to the bunker, Angela put Jack up in a room and left him to his own devices. He had followed her out to the library and met her daughter. It was after she put the baby to bed that Jack sought her out again and with a shredded t-shirt. She had raised her brow at it but answered his statement, “I told you. I have been told that I was once an angel.” She beckoned him to follow her and she went to the linen closet.

It made her laugh when Sam and Dean looked at her like she was crazy but she said they needed a place for sheets, towels and spare clothes. Now it came handy. She pulled out a couple of shirts and eyed Jack for size purposes. Jack said, “But I saw them. They were shadowy. I saw them before… when I was born.”

Angela picked a shirt and handed it to him. “Just a side effect.”

“But… you were an angel.”

“It’s what I was told,” she replied as she took Jack back to his room. “The best I could come up with that my soul, the source of my more… impressive abilities… it’s reflecting what I once was.” She looked at Jack and added, “Besides angels have grace. I don’t.”

Jack frowned at her, “But you are that.”

Angela made a slight face at that. She would let him think that. She had no memory so she wasn’t going to waste time on that. She pointed at his shirt, “You wanna tell me about that?”

Jack looked at his shredded shirt. He looked slowly at her and replied, “I… stabbed myself. I am a dangerous thing, aren’t I?”

Angela studied Jack and replied, “You could be. But I don’t believe it.”

“Dean… he said I was. He doesn’t believe I can be saved. He said he would kill me if… if I ended up evil.”

That had Angela sigh. She looked at Jack. She was no fool. His powers were superior to Lucifer’s and she could kick his ass. She knew she was a powerful being but that came in part because of her soul twin Sam. At least as far as she understood and she could see it in the pattern of events from when she first hooked up officially with them to now. She noted how hard she fought for both and seeing, sensing Sam was okay fueled her strength. His presence provided calm to the raging firestorm. She was the active half and he was the passive. The yin and yang.

Jack was different. There was no denying that. Yet she refused to believe that someone was evil because their parent was evil and dark. She would have thought Dean would have learned that by now especially after her leaving the bunker when the Brits arrived. It was a default setting since he had been the same when she walked in. Looking at Jack, she replied, “You are not evil, Jack. I don’t believe that. Like Sam… I think you can be a good person.”

“But Dean…”

“Sam explained that,” Angela replied, gently interrupting. “And people fear what they don’t understand. I scared him too, a couple of times.” She looked around the room and then gestured for Jack to take a seat on his bed. She sat beside him and said, “He was scared because he knows about what I once did. A long time ago, I was made a prisoner of hell, the place you tried to open. I was tortured and made to hate myself. I was already in a bad place because my father had died. He was the only family I had left since my mother was human and she lived her lifespan. I was devastated and my self-worth plummeted.”

“You hated yourself?”

“Hated what I was. Disgusted that I needed to drink blood to get healthy again. That I was not human in the sense of the word.” Angela pursed her lips and made a sad smile. “I became a demon slayer. Taught those with abilities to hunt like Sam and Dean how to do it. My hatred ended up twisting them and they now hunt the demons and innocent alike. I tortured demons and I didn’t care.”

“But you protect people.”

“I did and still do. I only hunted the demons and things hurting people but I tortured them for fun until I was imprisoned in hell. Then I decided to run away. It got people killed even when I did what I could to protect them. I considered myself a taint. So much that I was willing to let Dean kill me.” Angela looked at Jack as she reached out and ran a hand through his locks. “But he didn’t. He didn’t because to him, I did the job he does and that was saving people. I was willing to give my life for his.”

“But I can’t do that. I stabbed myself and I couldn’t…”

“That’s not the point,” Angela replied shaking her head. “The point is that I showed them both who I was. That’s what you have to do. I could tell you what I think but in the end… you will have to decide as to who you are, what you want to be. We can show you what we know is right, wrong, our experiences, but ultimately… you make the choice.”

“And if I make the wrong one?”

Angela could remember a time when this question or a variant like it was asked. She looked at Jack and replied, “Then I will do what I can to save you. And that doesn’t always mean killing.”

Jack frowned a little as he pondered that. He looked at Angela for a moment and then said, “I don’t know what it means though.”

Angela gave a slight smile at that. She would have said something but they were interrupted by little whimpers and a slight high pitch. She turned to see Gideon trotting in and on his heels was one puppies that had yet to be imprinted. It was way past the normal range and it didn’t seem to want any hunters she thought would be a good match. She raised her brow when Gideon trotted up to Jack and looked at him like he used to look at things when he was a puppy before nosing the kid soliciting for a pat.

Jack looked at the dog and then at Angela before tentatively reaching out and touching him. It was a bit funny and she resisted laughing. She blinked when the puppy took a running leap and jumped onto Jack’s lap, making itself at home. She made a sound as she said, “Huh. Well I’ll be.”

“What?” Jack looked at the puppy in his lap, holding onto it to keep it from falling. “What is wrong?”

Angela stood up and walked towards the door. “Nothing. Just that Setna there just chose you.”

“Chose me?” Jack looked panicked at the thought.

Angela shot a look of reassurance, “Meaning that he is your loyal friend. He is yours.”

“I don’t think…”

“Nothing I say or do will change that,” Angela said firmly. “He will stay with you. Starting tomorrow, I will teach you how to teach him. Among other things.” She gestured at the bed. “Time to sleep.”

There was no argument as Jack climbed into bed. She waited until he was tucked in before turning out his light. She did offer, “I believe you can be good Jack. And I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

It was probably a rash promise but Angela knew that if she didn’t step up to help Jack, then things would be as Dean feared. Like Sam, she believed that they could teach Jack right from wrong. With the fact that her wayward puppy chose him, it might make the bitter pill easier to swallow for Dean. After all they chose their hunters, their people and always had a nose for evil shit. Maybe it was foolish but she had to try and she had to believe that there was some good in this situation. And she was becoming attached to the boy. A rising light.


	3. 13.02 Rising Necessity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack is to get his tattoos but it doesn't work. Angie gives it a try and something unexpected happens. Tag to Rising Sun.

“It’s sort of like a family crest.”

Angela resisted making a comment about Sam’s remark as he showed the tattoo she reapplied after Castiel burnt off the previous one. She didn’t know if she wanted to laugh or cry at the irony of it but sometimes the omission and slight bending of the truth was better than outright telling the truth. Really, how could you explain that it was an anti-possession sigil and that there really were demons around? That would make people think you were crazy.

Most of the time, she wanted to laugh at the attempts the Winchesters did to dig themselves out of a hole with regards to explanations. Thinking about it, it was difficult to explain. Even harder was what to explain when Jack reacted to the pain from the tattoo needle. Even more so was the fact that once the job was done, the tattoos disappeared.

When the boys decided Jack was getting the tattoos, she said that it was a good idea but that it wouldn’t work. Dean, being the stubborn one, said that the kid was getting a tattoo. Sam was ready to ask why she thought the way she did. She sighed and went along with it and gave one last warning, “I’m telling you, it won’t work.”

“The kid’s getting em,” was all Dean would say.

Angela had no choice but to wait and watch. It didn’t surprise her that Jack reacted the way he did. She remembered what happened when Dean shot at him when he was first born. She sighed and focused on the tattoo artist, letting her abilities tell him that he fell. It was lame but the electricity shorting would have made for awkward questions in that he was to continue applying the tattoo. She did it on the sly while inwardly wishing Dean wouldn’t be so impatient with Jack.

In the end the tattoo artist managed to ink the kid and asked how he liked it. That was when the tattoos disappeared. Angela was nonplussed with the situation and had her arms crossed over her chest when Dean started pointing out that it was another sign that Jack was evil. She gave him a look saying, “And that is ridiculous. I told you it wouldn’t work.”

In the meantime, Sam managed to convince the tattoo artist that everything was fine and convince him to step out and take a breather. He came back asking, “What did you mean by it wouldn’t work, Angie?”

“Simple,” Angela replied with a slight shrug on her shoulders. “He got stabbed and didn’t die.”

It made perfect sense and Dean ended up grumbling because he had seen that happen. It never occurred to either Winchester that it would apply to getting a tattoo. Dean grumbled, “Well that’s just great.” He turned away from Jack with a look of anger on his face.

Angela sighed and shook her head while Sam asked, “Any ideas?”

Angela turned and looked at Sam and then at Jack. She had an idea but she wasn’t sure if it would work. It was worth a shot though since it wasn’t really actual piercing of the skin. “I think there is a way if you are dead set on him having an anti-possession tattoo. She kept looking at Jack as she thought about it some more.

“What do you have?” Sam shook his head slightly and willing to try almost anything within reason.

Angela looked at Sam showed him the underside of her wrists. It took him a moment to process it and once he did he pressed, “Are you sure? Is it safe?”

Angela looked at Jack with a piercing look. The kid wasn’t afraid of her. Rather he was very obedient and seemed to sense that the situation was serious and what she was going to do wouldn’t tolerate his shoddy impulse control. “It is a healer’s touch,” she offered almost with a hint of sarcasm. “Just an appeal to what is natural resistance.”

“Will it hurt?”

Sam and Angela looked at Jack. Angela shook her head and shrugged, “I don’t know. So I suggest that you don’t react.”

“I don’t know, Angie. I mean…”

“It’s worth a try,” she replied as she looked at Sam, “And I don’t want to risk the demons.”

Sam looked at Jack who was looking at Angela. After a moment, Jack nodded and Sam reluctantly agreed, “Alright. Just… be careful.”

“Aren’t I always?” Angela gave a smile in Sam’s direction while she moved to stand by Jack’s side. She looked at him and instructed to lay back on the chair. She said soothingly, “It’ll be okay. It’s not like getting stuck with the needle.”

It was enough to relax Jack and Angela took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She focused on channeling her power using the breathing and centering techniques she had learned. She focused on it and what she was going to do. She didn’t even hear Dean come back and demand what was going on. Instead she was focused on the bright pure yellow flame that appeared in the palm of her hand, channeling it and controlling it. When she was ready, she turned her hand and lowered it to Jack’s chest.

Dean was willing to let it go since it would prove futile to tattoo the kid again. When he went back, he found Angela standing by a prone Jack and her hands were doing that glowing thing like she did when she was healing or used what Castiel once called the Flame of Righteousness. He could see her tattoos on her wrists glowing as he edged closer and asked Sam, “What the hell, Sam?”

“Angie’s gonna try something. Might help.”

“And what is that, put a Band-Aid on or something?”

Sam shrugged, “Just let her try.”

Angela didn’t hear them but was focused on what she was doing. She placed her palm like she had done for Mary and Charlie when she gave them the tattoo to call her if they needed her. Instead of that, she focused on the anti-possession image and imagined it being woven into the fabric of Jack’s being. Like it was one with him and not an intruder.

There was some resistance but she pushed back gently. She was aware that she was saying out loud, “Protect. Protect. Protect.”

It made sense to drive the point home that it was for protection. And it seemed to do the trick. When she withdrew her palm and the light faded, there on Jack’s chest, where his heart would be, was the anti-possession tattoo. She waited to see if it would fade like the other ones. It didn’t. It stayed there on Jack’s chest.

“How did you do that?”

Angela looked up and saw Dean and then back down at the tattoo. The design puzzled her as she replied, “I just… imagined it as part of his body rather than foreign. I told his body that it wasn’t harmful but protecting.”

“So that’s what you said?” Sam’s voice entered with a hint of worry in his tone as he looked at her.

“I said, ‘protect’ like three times,” Angela frowned in confusion. She looked at Sam and Dean, “What did you hear?”

“Nothing in English, that’s for sure,” Dean replied gruffly. “So is the thing on like permanent?”

Angela looked again at the tattoo, “More or less. But it doesn’t look quite right.”

“What do you mean?”

Angela looked clearly at the tattoo she had applied. The basic sigil was there but it was different. She peered at it, aware that Jack was looking at her with a puzzled expression. She traced the lines she had done and a feeling began to creep up her spine. Once she traced what didn’t quite fit she sighed and said, “I get it.”

“Get what?”

Angela looked at Sam and Dean. She handed Jack his shirt and said, “Come on. We’ve wasted enough time here.”

It left questions but Angela wasn’t willing to answer them. She wasn’t because she knew the end result would be and the last thing she wanted was to start a fight and one that would tear their family apart. She wasn’t sure she could tell Sam yet but one thing was certain, she wasn’t going to try that again unless it was absolutely necessary.


	4. 13.03 Light's Patience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam tries to figure out how to help Jack and what to do about his abilities. Tag to Patience.

Being a parent was nothing new to Sam. He had helped raise a baby goddess. He took care of his wife when a spell reduced her to a four year old. And he was now a father to his own baby daughter. So he had some experience and he could say that it extended somewhat into the strange and unusual since Hibah was a half goddess and half angel. His wife was a powerful being in her own right and he got to see her do things that she would never willingly show him now. Jess was sensitive to the supernatural and the whole veil thing since she cried when the angels that had been in Castiel’s garrison had been killed. While he was somewhat prepared, he was in completely new territory when it came to Jack and his abilities as a Nephilim.

It wasn’t Jack’s fault that circumstances were as they were. Even though the kid was in a full sized body, he was still a child in many things and needed to be taught the ways of the world. One of the things that he thought was important was to learn the range of Jack’s abilities and then work with him on how to control them. He knew Jack was scared and in his mind he thought that the more they taught him self-control, the less he would have to fear about hurting someone. It just didn’t help that Dean was being an ass and saying a bunch of negative crap that could make this plan go to hell.

Sam decided to lead the teaching of Jack. Dean didn’t much care and thought Sam was an idiot for ignoring Missouri’s call for help. Sherlock, the resident librarian only said that the kid better learn the library system since he wasn’t going to tolerate shenanigans. Gabriel was actually thrilled to have Jack around. It surprised Sam since Gabriel was full angel and Jack was half an angel and the son of Lucifer. He was wary once he figured that the prepubescent angel figured out that he might have a partner in crime.

The biggest show of trust and indicator for him was his daughter Jess. She was still a baby barely six or seven months old but she already could sense the difference between good and bad. With Jack, she was all smiles and often squealing at the sight of him. Dean thought Sam was being reckless for letting Jack be in the same vicinity of the baby and went so far to say that Angela was insane as well. He failed to notice that Setna had chosen Jack and Sam decided not to point it out since it wouldn’t make a difference to Dean.

So Sam set out trying to help Jack. He quickly figured out that being there was making Jack nervous and decided to leave him alone for a break. His thinking was that if he left, it would let Jack become more relaxed and maybe be able to do the simple task of moving the pencil. That didn’t work either and Sam realized that pressuring Jack wasn’t going to help matters. The kid was scared of what he could do and Sam knew that feeling all to well. There was some logic in what he wanted to do but he wasn’t going to force it on the kid. So he was sitting, trying to think of something else while playing with his daughter. She could already sit up by herself and it had become evident that she was sneaky with her crawling.

“You didn’t have a bad idea,” Angela’s soft voice entered as her hands rubbed his shoulders.

Sam didn’t take his eyes off Jess as she crawled towards a toy she liked to play with in the playpen that Sherlock had built, stating that it was better than those cheap plastic things people called playpens. It was gruff coming out but it betrayed the affection the Librarian had for the baby. Sam replied, “I am curious as to what he can do and I want to help him so he doesn’t hurt anyone because of reflex. But he’s scared and I’m not helping any.”

“You are by being a friend and being there,” Angela prodded gently as she massaged Sam’s shoulders. “It’s just different for Jack. I am concerned that he is scared and I want him to feel like he’s safe.”

Sam scoffed a little at that, “Not with Dean being what he is.”

Angela shook her head slightly, “Dean has a stick up his rear and it’s rooted in anger and fear. He will get over it but I am not holding my breath over it. Just another challenge.” She paused in her massage and wrapped her arms around Sam, giving him a hug from behind. “It was part of the reason why I asked Dean about being family when I was four for those couple of months. One of the few things I can remember from that. I was not sure about my position.”

“Angie…” Sam breathed slightly as his hand reached up to touch hers.

“I know I had been with you for a couple of years before that but… in all honesty, I was never really sure how you both felt after Wyoming and some of the things I had done coming to light.” Angela hugged Sam and rested her cheek on top of his. She took a deep breath. “I knew you cared about me but it felt tenuous until Dean said we were family and you Sam… I could feel it. Even when you off doing your thing with Ruby. I felt it.”

Sam sighed as she continued to hug him. He reached for her hand and absently stroked it, marveling that they were soft even with the calluses from centuries of handling weapons and fighting. She was an enigma that he was still learning about every day they spent together through the good times and the bad. He would have said something but Jess started squealing and he recognized it for what it was. He stood up and went to pick her up. He looked at his wife and said, “I’ll think of something. Thanks Angie.”

Sam did try to think of what else he could do for Jack. At the moment, he left the kid alone but he didn’t feel that it was right to do. He found that Angela kept him busy with a list of chores that she had drawn up when they were heading back to the bunker and explained that everyone who lived there had chores that kept the place looking nice. It had made him want to laugh a little since Jack didn’t exactly have a clue but Angela had been patient with him and showed him how to take care of his clothes and personal belongings.

Thinking about it, maybe that was what Jack needed most. Training could come later. Right now it was about making Jack feel comfortable and safe. He thought that they were taking the first steps since he trusted the kid with his daughter. It had Sam sitting and making a few lists that could be looked at. They wouldn’t have to be followed to the letter but there to give a general direction. Then they could figure out what worked and what didn’t. He gave silent thanks, _Thank you Angie for being you._

While Sam was working on what to try, he clicked through the cameras that had been set up in the bunker. It gave the impression of a pervert but it was done with safety in mind as well as anticipating where someone was heading if someone had broken in. The camera system had been rigged just before Sam had brought Dean back to the bunker to cure him of being a demon. It helped in staying a step ahead of his brother and allowed for both Castiel and Angela to restrain his brother. Since then, they used it when they were away to check in on Sherlock and Gabriel. Some viewings were innocent and some were necessary. In this case, he was checking in on Jack.

What he found wanted to have him laugh a little but he allowed a slight smile as he saw Angela instructing Jack on what to do and in this case with cleaning. She liked to keep things neat and tidy and it went overboard when she was carrying Jess and it looked like she was still getting a little carried away. Not that it mattered. What mattered was what he was watching.

Jess cooed to be picked up and he did, sitting her on his knee while he peered at what the cameras were showing. He muttered softly, “Looks like your mom found another stray, Jess.”

Jess just waved her hands at the screen. She saw her mother and made her sound for her mother. It had Sam smile and reassure her that it was her mother while watching. Deciding to get the full experience, he flipped the audio on. Maybe he was spying on them but he was curious as to what his wife was saying to Jack.

“Why are you teaching me this?”

“Because it is the basics that every person must know.”

“Looks like Cat is doing it again.”

Sam sat up to find that Gabriel had wandered in. It was still a moment of taking time to adjust to the fact that the trickster archangel that had made his and Dean’s life living hell was now like a teenager. That point was made clear when the angel went through puberty and it was quite comical. Certainly Dean had something to say about that. He asked, “Aren’t you supposed to be doing your homework?”

Gabriel shrugged at that, “Yeah but I wanted to see the rugrat before I do and Cat is doing it again.”

Sam long realized that the angel called Angela by the name she had been born with. It was a special thing between them and he didn’t mind. Instead he focused on what the angel was getting at, “Doing what?”

Gabriel shrugged slightly as he tried to find the words to explain. Finally he said, “I guess you could call it skill building of a sorts. And part of it is just being like everything is normal more or less.”

Sam studied the screen. Angela was showing Jack the basics of taking care of himself and taking time to explain it. He could see where Gabriel was coming from with that explanation. “Looks like when she would try to teach Cas something.”

“That is pretty much her no matter who it is,” Gabriel corrected while rotating his shoulders.

Sam recognized the movement and felt bad for mentioning Castiel. Angela explained a few things when they first got Gabriel and some things sort of made sense after everything that happened. Trying to keep things on a positive note, Sam nodded and replied, “She’s patience when most people wouldn’t be. I can see why things like Cerebus would take a liking to her.”

“Nah, that’s more because of who she is,” Gabriel shrugged off. “But you may be right.” He stared at the screen for a few moments before saying, “I remember when she was six years old. Really six years old. There was this kid who was big about a couple of years older than her and not quite right in the head. This was when people were a bunch of superstitious ninnies. Anyway, she talked to him and learned that he couldn’t read. She was already learning that so she started teaching him what she learned.”

“Did it work?”

“Not exactly, but she kept trying and figured out a few things. Being a friend was one of them. Kid learned the basics in reading because of her.” Gabriel started to walk away to the table he did his homework at. “I could point to you. Hell after what you and Dean both done… Now that’s true patience.”

Sam felt his lip twitch but didn’t say anything. Rather, he looked back at the screen and watched his wife interact with Jack. He had noticed that Jack seemed to relax more with her but he was still skittish. Angela was just carrying on like nothing was out of place. She did that quite often, treating everyone that came through the door like they were a guest. Holding his daughter close, Sam muttered, “Your mom is really something, Jess.”

He continued to watch until Jess started getting fussy and wanting her mother. Sam carried her through the bunker to where he knew they would be. He was able to hand off the baby citing that she wanted her mother and it left him alone with Jack. He asked, “Feeling better?”

“A little,” Jack admitted. “Angie is strict.”

Sam smiled at that, “On some things, yeah. And for good reason.”

“Because of what she is.”

“Partly,” Sam admitted. “She’s sensitive to smells so there is a reason why she does certain things.” He looked at Jack, trying to determine if what he next was going to say was going to have the same result as when Jack refused to explore the range of abilities he had. “Hey um… I know you don’t want to train with your powers so… how about training you in other things?”

“Like what?”

“Like how to protect yourself. Without your powers.”

It sounded silly but Sam figured that it was necessary. He watched as Jack mulled it over before asking, “So… you’ll show me…” He looked confused.

“How to fight, physical training. Maybe learn how to shoot.” It was probably playing with fire but Sam figured that it was better to treat it like how he taught Adam. Well who he thought was his brother Adam. He would teach Jack how to protect himself and if he asked, explain about what being a hunter was.

“And this is for protecting myself. So I won’t hurt people?”

“So you can protect them.”

As soon as Sam said that, he knew that he meant it. If Dean was going to get over himself, he was going to have to have Jack show that he wasn’t a threat. The best way was to show him how to protect people. Maybe that’s what Angela was getting at with her insistence that there was a difference between the who and what you were. And maybe it was more of reassurance for her. In any case, it was going to take time and work and Sam found that he had the patience for it.


	5. 13.04 Emptiness of the Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean knows he's been an ass and part of it that he is scared of the unknown and he isn't sure of what to do. Tag to the Big Empty.

_We’ve got portals to apocalyptic worlds, we’ve got shapeshifting demons. We’re dealing with a whole new set of tiddlywinks. I say we just do what we do._

Yeah. I admit it. I’m an ass even when I’m at my best and trying to dealing with the loss of Mom and Cas. As the now prepubescent trickster angel we have with us would say, “I’m an ass and she knows it.”

She definitely knows it. She knows me and Sam down to our worst. And she still loves us both. And I think that’s part of the reason why I lash out at Jack, the kid. Even that shifter shrink commented that I am angry and I take it out on people undeserving it. It’s like the whole world can see right through me and being me, I got defensive and upset Sam enough that he walked away… again.

I know that’s not fair. It’s easy to meet something head on and hit it in reaction. I know cause I do it more than I care to say. Sam… He will fight but I get it. I mean Angie does the same thing. She walks away or does that looking away until she finds the right words and then she hits you hard and heavy. And you would think I would have learned after all these years but… I guess it’s me being human but it’s a lousy excuse.

It’s lousy because I am hurt. I am hurt that Cas is dead and Mom is more likely gone too and the closest thing to take it out on is the kid. I saw what he did before he was born and it scared me. Then what happened afterwards… All I could and still think about is that it is Lucifer’s kid and… Sam was right. In a way it was like when Dad told me that I might have to kill my brother. Kill him instead of saving him. My own brother. And to think I almost did it with her.

The sad thing was that she told me to. You know how messed up that is? She told me to kill her and I was willing to do it right then and there. And that was finding out she knew Mom and Dad and she admitted her meddling killed them. Screw the fact that a rage demon got to me. I was ready to do it right then and there but I didn’t. Instead I threw her out. With Jack… I wanted to do the same. Kill him and I told I would cause he’s a monster.

That is why I’m an ass.

I admit that I justified it as protecting my family. I still think the kid is dangerous because of what he could do. It terrified me that Angie and Sam were willing to let the kid be in the same room as the baby. I mean Angie let him hold her! I thought she was crazy for it and I yelled at her asking why she was putting the baby in danger by letting the kid be near her. Thinking about it now, I am relieved she reacted the way she did since I’ve seen when she gets angry and her powers get involved. But I didn’t care then. I couldn’t understand why she refused to see the kid for what he was and said it loud and clear. She let me have it.

When Angie gets pissed, she can be scary, even if it is just for show. I could tell she was pissed and it showed when one of the lightbulbs shattered. I could hear Jess cry and wanted to curse myself for it since we all knew Jess was sensitive to emotions when they got physical, but I kept Angie’s gaze. She told me that Jack was not a monster and he was not evil and told me that if I took my head out of my ass long enough that I would see it. Then she hit me with the rider as she left, “If you think monsters are so bad, maybe you should’ve killed me then.”

I’ve had plenty of cold shoulders but nothing like what she gave me. She was polite but I knew I was in the doghouse. Even Shadow could feel it that I was lucky he didn’t pee on everything in fear. Of course Keiko, Sam’s mutt looked at me like Miss Priss, and Setna… Still can’t believe that runt picked the kid. Yeah, Angie I took my head out long enough to see that. In any case, I knew better than to fight too much when I found a case and Sam gave the bright idea of bringing the kid along.

I was an idiot to think that Angie would come along to be like some sort of interference. She didn’t because she’s the stay at home mom now and she just had to say in that sweet tone of hers that it was a good bonding experience. I know when I’m being duped and I knew she was rubbing it in that I was to play nice with the kid even if she wasn’t going to be there. In the end, it worked out better than I thought.

The kid did good. He did good in that he stopped the shifter and stopped the bullet from killing Sam. Sam had been telling him that we protect people and that we were the good guys for killing monsters and saving people and he did what we would have done. It also helped that the kid’s little runt actually proved its worth and took a bite out of that shifter. He got a little beat up but he was a happy thing wagging its tail for the kid. It’s a start I think. I mean when I realized the trouble we were in, I urged Jack to do something and use his powers. If it makes me a hypocrite then so be it. I am. And I am an ass.

But I did take some time to think things over. The drive home certainly helped though I know Sam was pretty much in deep thoughts. I hurt him bad once again. I mean I always figured he was a little jealous about me knowing Mom. She did die when he was a baby so all he knew of her were pictures and then when she came back… It was different for him and… maybe he did get the short end of the stick. I do admire him for having that hope. With as much crap as we have seen over the years… he still fights though I think more so because he’s Angie’s soul twin and he has a daughter now. I know we are overly codependent and all that psychobabble crap but… I depend on him for things like that. Especially when I was slipping from the Mark. So, it’s why I can say that I’m starting to warm up to the kid.

Jack… I know he’s not all human and he’s not all angel. Hell, I know plenty of beings out there that are hybrids and one is my sister-in-law. And I was and still am scared of what he could do and I know that I have been a dick with him but… I think about Angie and baby Jess. Sam I know about and been there, done that kind of thing. But with Angie… as much as I know about her kind, I know that isn’t the whole story. Not after learning she was once an angel. So what about Jess?

I love that baby. She is a precious little light in my life. Nothing makes me happier than when she sees me and the recognition on her face. But I also know that she won’t be a normal human. That’s a big leap since when it’s she gets to puberty that we find out if she’s gonna be like her mom or not. But I know she won’t be normal because of what I see now. Her reaction to angels and to Jack in particular… It is a big unknown and it is scary. I don’t know how Angie has done it all these years, learning new things about herself and being freaked out when she does something like pull a demon out of its meat and set it on fire.

I get where Angie is coming from when she chewed me out and I told her as much when we got home. I admit that I may never understand fully where she is coming from but that doesn’t mean that I should ignore her and what we have seen and done. Heck it still baffles me how she forgives so easily especially to me for being an ass with her the past couple of years. And yet, I don’t regret one moment having her in my life.

So yeah, I will try harder with the kid. He did save us twice already. I actually do count that whole this with Asmodeus. Still can’t believe that asshole is still alive after I saw Angie lop his head off. And I heard what Jack said and… I don’t blame the kid for being wary of me after what I said and done. But… he called us friends. He called us that and… I threw it back in his face. This time… at least it’s a start. The kid really isn’t that bad and if we can teach him right from wrong, then I guess there is hope for us, right?

I meant what I said when I told Sam that I really didn’t have much of anything and that I needed to hold onto that hope that Mom was still alive in that apocalyptic world. But after everything, I just don’t feel much of anything. I lost my best friend, Cas and Mom and other friends over the years. Even Missouri… I just feel a bit empty and it’s one of those times that I am not sure I can keep doing this. I don’t know what Chuck was thinking when he said the world was okay with me and Sam in it. I really don’t know and… and I really don’t know how it will work out with the kid being around. The last thing I want to do is condemn the kid because of some thing we pissed off in the past and it comes to get us. But I guess I just gotta live in the moment then. And the kid… Jack did do right.


	6. 13.05 Light's Thanatos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billie and Angie catch up even when Billie reveals she's the new Death to Dean. Tag to Advanced Thanatology.

"It's been awhile since we've talked."

Angela looked at the reaper that was now Death. She raised her brow as she looked at the one being that she had known but in a different incarnation. She looked at them and replied, "And there is a reason. I like being very much alive... Billie."

Billie looked at Angela with a slow smile, "I can tell. I mean... you're a mother now. One of the things I never thought you'd be able to be." She crossed her arms as she approached Angela, "Tell me, what is it like having Sam Winchester's kid?"

Angela gave a wry smile in return. She looked at the reaper turned Death. She sighed, "Why am I here?"

Billie looked at Angela and the smile turned into one of amusement. She had always been amused and exasperated by the one who was chosen to be the earthbound angel. Scratch that. The one who was a former angel and still doing the job. Of course, there were a few instances that would have put her on the shit list.

It had been risky summoning Angela to her realm but it was worth it. It showed Billie what she had yet to see since the woman was the kind to keep her cards close to the vest. It was probably taboo to bring her across the veil even though Angela could do it on a whim more than likely. Yet, Billie needed some leverage since she was going to have to have a talk with Dean Winchester.

Looking at Angela, she shifted her head to look at her like an inquisitive puppy would. "You've become quite powerful within the last decade than you have in all the centuries we've been watching you."

"What can I say, it's timing," Angela replied with a smirk. "I mean I thought it took off when I had to walk down the paths of what Sigrid had me walk. Jumpstarted when I was in hell. I mean I actually remember doing things that I hadn't done previously." She crossed her arms over her chest and asked again, "So... why am I here?"

"Straight to the point," Billie countered with a slow smile. "Not even bothering to ask how I did that or why you are seeing me again."

Angela studied Billie. She moved her head like she was examining an experiment. She replied, "The how is not too far a stretch now that I can cross the veil like that. Funny thing about spiritual powers and how they work. As to you, haven't you noticed that I have been my charming self?"

Billie frowned and looked at Angela. "You mean...?"

Angela sighed, "I know quite a bit about angels. Ranging from classes and what they do to various spells and other things." She looked at Billie as she crossed her arms over her chest again. "And no. They don't know everything I know."

"And how did you acquire this information?"

"An angel who is an ass." It was flippant and Angela knew that she was risking the wrath of Death. She knew when Death had another face when she did as she did now. And still it didn't make a difference. She wasn't going to be pushed around... much. "Try figuring that one out."

"You've always been the aggressor in a lot of conversations."

"And for good reason." Angela gave a slight nod. "It was because I had been burned before. So... you know... once bitten, twice shy. And I have no problems making it hard to gain trust." She stared at Billie with a pointed look. "So, are you going to tell me why I'm here or can I leave?"

"Do you think you can leave?"

"If I have to destroy this cold place of a library, then I will."

Billie looked at Angela. A couple of years earlier, she would not have expected this from the Malachi of Absolution. The actual threats of destruction. While she and the former Death had been complaining about the Winchesters and their blatant disregard for the natural order of things, they both could admit, well she could, that it could have been a lot worse if Angela hadn't been in the Winchesters' lives. While things went wrong, they weren't as bad as it could have been.

The silence seemed to speak to Angela and she gave a bland look at Billie before turning to walk out, saying, "Thanks for the invite. Love what you done to the place."

The reaper that had brought her in tried to stop her. Billie watched as the reaper was sent flying into the wall without Angela laying so much as a hand on her. She had turned enough to allow Billie to see the flare of the eyes. That was different, the color. It was then that Billie sensed the pull of power and it occurred to her that the Malachi meant what she said. She would destroy to get out.

Seeing this new development along with the fact that she could see a larger picture had Billie gasp slightly. Out loud, she said, "There is something big at play. And I need you to be at the forefront like you always have."

Angela paused and turned to look at Billie. She started walking back towards her with her eyes narrowed. She shook her finger saying, "No. Not again. I have done what was asked of me in terms of the big picture. The Apocalypse never happened, which by the way you should be thankful for but it's not like reapers care." She waved her hand at Billie. "No, I am not interested in being the poster girl. I have my own problems that are too human for you."

"Dean Winchester has pierced the veil."

Angela shrugged her shoulders, "Since when has he not?"

Billie was concerned. She thought the Malachi would at least wonder why Dean was dead and wandering around but it seemed that didn't make her bat an eye lash. She said, "I am going to bring him. We need to talk."

Angela made a gesture. It was acknowledgement and that she would wait. Billie was relieved at that. She picked up the scythe and put on her jacket. Before she left, she said, "Even for all of your tough talk you still know when to show respect."

"Don't make the mistake of thinking that I am showing any form of respect," Angela replied with a pointed and firm look. "I am merely being considerate since it is obvious that I'm going to hear this conversation one way or another."

Billie nodded and left to retrieve the Winchester that thought it was a good idea to kill himself to help a house full of ghosts. She came back with him and she watched as the reunion played out, but not as she expected especially when Angela strode up saying, "I am disappointed in you, Dean. You know how to get into your spiritual body."

"Went with quick and dirty."

"And a method with no guarantee. There was a reason why I taught you both the pinch." Angela crossed her arms over her chest. "Unless you really want to leave us."

It was when she heard it, that Billie realized Angela was well aware of what was going on for the most part. It even helped when she interrupted and revealed she knew that the journals described the different methods of death. It was a little rude and Billie would have been quick to deal with it but from experience, the earthbound angel was not easily intimidated by most beings. She was able to shoot a look but it wasn't like Angela would give a rat's ass.

Angela looked at Dean. It didn't take the new Death to tell her what she already knew since they first took in Jack. It didn't take a genius to tell her. She could see it and it was as plain as the nose on her face. She blinked when Billie said that Dean wanted to die. She looked at him and asked, "Do you really want to leave us?"

Dean looked at Angela. The truth was that he was tired of losing. Even if they did the job, there was always loss attached to it. He honestly didn't think that he would come back from the injection. It was why he used it rather than have Sam do the pinch on him. Maybe it was selfish because not only was he leaving his brother and her behind if he died. He was leaving behind the little scrap that never hesitated to squeal with happiness; a little light in his darkness. He replied, "I'm just..." He shook his head and shrugged his shoulders.

Angela looked at him. She was pensive as well as disappointed with Dean. But she couldn't blame him. She glanced at the journals and gestured at them. "You heard Billie. These are possible endings but it's all about choices. I made a choice to kill myself and... it didn't turn out the way I wanted it because I'm still here. I have over five hundred years' worth of experience and memories. Before you and Sam... I contemplated the kamikaze act at least once a week. Recently, once or twice."

Billie raised her brow at that. At first, she thought Absolution was just trying to relate to Dean. Then it occurred to her that those were very real feelings. It could account for the fact why the three of them managed to pull each other out. She let the conversation carry out as Dean replied, "I thought Sam convinced you otherwise."

"He did. The point is that those feelings are still there. We are the sum of our choices and experiences. We're just harder on ourselves than others. It's why I've always said that I never met the version of me that people hear about." Angela looked at Billy and her gaze hardened slightly. "As much as I am vastly annoyed at being here by Miss Death over there, there is work to be done."

"Angie, I don't think..."

"I know you think you can't and won't pull yourself out of this and prefer to drink like the slobs in a dive bar, but I know that if there is a chance that someone needs help and we can do it... we do it. Of course, you have to pull yourself out of this funk or whatever this is." She gestured at the area between them while looking at Dean with a pointed look. "Take the time and really deal. To be honest, I am close to not putting up with the crap anymore. I am tired of you being an ass with everyone."

Billie widened her eyes slightly as she listened to the firm tones of Angela and Dean's rapt attention. When they were done, she sent Dean back but Angela remained. She said, "That was impressive. I never thought that..."

"I'm a mother," Angela replied giving a slight eye roll at Billie.

"But as you said, you've seen a lot. You have been killed several times over, but, like the Winchesters, you've never stayed dead for long." She started circling Angela and appraising her.

Angela stood there and let her as she replied, "Well there are reasons for that, which I'm sure you know." She waited until Billie was in front of her before asking, "So, what are your intentions?"

"What do you mean?"

Angela shot a look that told Billie not to play stupid with her. "You know. I was here when Dean told you about Jack."

"Yes, Lucifer's son." Billie gave a slight smirk. "And what do you think I will do?"

"I know you're scared of the fact that we've had a doorway opened into an alternate universe. And I know what happens to people when they are faced with something new and terrifying." Angela crossed her arms over her chest, refusing to be nice.

"There is a larger picture and usually you are good at seeing it even if it is a glimpse," Billie retorted with an equally firm tone. "And you're being awfully impertinent. I could..."

"Do what?" Angela jutted her chin forward, her eyes narrowed. "Hurt me? Please."

"Don't forget that I am Death."

"And I've courted Death countless times and always it was the same: I was too important and I had a role to play. I've even deliberately goaded Death to try to kill me. No dice."

"I need you, Absolution," Billie countered with a firm look, "More than ever."

"And I'm telling you that my job will never change. I will always look out for people. So, go find someone else to be your poster girl."

"There is no one else," Billie replied in a low tone. She hated to admit it and she did it reluctantly. "There is no one else but you and the Winchesters. You can make those hard decisions including delivering death."

Angela snorted at that, "I may be the tactician when it comes to battle but I don't kill for the hell of it. So, I'm going." She turned to start walking out.

"And what of Lucifer's son? You know that a being like that is dangerous."

Billie watched as Angela paused in her walk. She noticed the shoulders become rigid and tensed. There was the possibility she made a mistake. She held her breath as Angela turned to look at her and say, "There is a difference between killing someone because of what they do or did and killing someone for something they might do. For me... it's the former."

"But..."

Angela shook her head slightly, "He hasn't done anything and I won't harm him nor aid others in that endeavor. Consider that a warning."

"A warning?"

"Yes. From Jack's guardian." Angela turned and started walking towards the exit.

"Why?"

"Three great things, Billie. It's what made me."

Billie watched as Angela left. The relief was that she didn't cause any destruction but she made it so she could return to her body. She breathed in a sigh of relief. Absolution had changed since they last saw each other. She turned towards her desk and looked at the journal lying open on it. She knew which one it was about and she put her hand over it. She looked in the direction that Angela had taken.

Billie liked order. Everything had its place and did what it was supposed to do. The Winchesters stomped on it and nearly destroyed it several times over. The Malachi of Absolution though... it was different. It scared her at times and it had her wonder if her predecessor felt the same. She did know though that she had just gotten a warning but also a reminder. She knew what Angela was before all this. All the angels had some idea. She was life, the complement whether she knew it or not.

_Three greatest things are faith, hope and love._


	7. 13.06 Light's Tombstone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angela tries to understand and cope with Jack leaving them. Having a hug from Sam helps. Tag to Tombstone.

_I know you’re not my mom but… can I call you mother?_

Angela stared at nothing as her fingers moved her knitting needles in a flurry. She was moving so fast she could feel the heat coming off the metal needles. The rhythmic clicking was almost soothing as she tried to process the events that happened over the past few days.

It had been a good idea to send Sam and Dean off on a job by themselves and leave her with Jack. Dean hadn’t liked the idea but she had been firm and told them to go and enjoy. She knew that Dean couldn’t find anything to argue back about when she didn’t rise to the bait. So she was left with Jack and the others that resided in the bunker.

It hadn’t been too bad since Jack and Gabriel got along well together. She taught Jack the basics in reading and writing and he figured out how to use a laptop. In between, she started him on the list of chores that were necessary and basics on training with his new dog. Sherlock insisted on schooling lessons. All in all it was pleasant and worked out really well. So much that Jack asked to call her ‘mother’. That was until the last job.

Jack had actually found it and she couldn’t help but be proud of him and she signaled that with an approving pat and rub on his shoulder. That was after she spent about three minutes looking at Castiel with that bland look Sam didn’t like. She couldn’t believe that her angel was alive. She felt the burn on her shoulder when he died and Sam treated it. That she didn’t sense him being alive… that had her wary.

Castiel stared back at her and she was about to dismiss him as not her angel when she heard him in her head like they used to. She couldn’t help let out the breathy sigh that had tears forming and she hugged the angel. It almost turned into bawling when her angel hugged Jack. It only seemed to put Jack’s finding of a potential job on cloud nine and she suggested that he go with the boys and Castiel on the job and she also warned Dean not to get too overboard with the cowboy thing.

It made things a little lonely without Jack around but things went on as normal and she had the baby to take care of. Gabriel was bored and asked when Jack would be back. She had to admit that having to ‘raise’ the angel that looked after her over the centuries and rescued her from hell was strange but also ironic and funny. Gabriel was determined to milk the whole teen years for what it was worth.

“Come on, Cat. It’s so boring. Why did you tell Jack to go?”

It had her laugh and just continue to put him to work on his homework and chores. It was punishment enough making him live like most other mortals on the straight and narrow. It was poetic justice since he had used his abilities to deliver just desserts among other things. It was just another day until the boys came home.

She was in the kitchen making dinner. It was fun to make Dean think she had a sixth sense. In reality, it was Sam giving her a heads up. It was old since Dean knew about the bond between her and Sam but it was still fun to play. Right away though she could tell that something was wrong. She could sense it and Jess started making noises that sounded like distress from her basket she had been placed in while her mother cooked. Immediately, she turned down the pilots on the stove and came out asking if everything was alright.

It was like when the boys got in trouble and knew it. Sam, Dean and Castiel were shuffling uncomfortably. Jack was looking defeated and wanting to cry. She looked at Sam and he gave her the rundown silently. Without fear, even when Jack told her not to, she wrapped her arms around the boy. She was well aware that he could hurt her but her trust was implicit enough to ignore the potential danger. She held him even when he struggled until he relaxed in her arms.

Sam and Dean meant well trying to explain to Jack that what he did was an accident to the security guard. They were nervous though having experienced firsthand what Jack could do. She experienced it too but it tool centuries to get to the level of calm she could exhibit even when she was scared. Her reaction to Jack ended up being an eye flare in his direction. It was meant to tell him to calm down but also letting him know that she was not tolerating shenanigans in her house.

In the end, Jack only say himself as a monster and that he couldn’t stay. Angela knew what that meant and braced herself, which was a good thing. Jack used his powers to short out something while sending Sam, Dean and Castiel flying, knocking them nearly out. She was the only one standing when the sparks flew at the same time Gabriel came in. He shouted at Jack not to go and started towards him. Her instinct was parental and she grabbed him and held him to her body as another set of sparks occurred before Jack was gone.

The only sound that occurred was the sound of Jess bawling at the top of her lungs. Angela checked to make sure Gabriel was okay before going to soothe the baby whose face was red from crying. She put the baby up to her shoulder and came back with the urge to check on Gabriel who was standing where Jack was last seen and looking around, distress. He looked at her and asked, “Why did he go, Cat? Why?”

She could answer that question and she couldn’t. In fact, the whole thing seemed to put her into a state of shock. She managed to do what she usually did and that was taking care of the bunker, Gabriel, who was actually sobbing and moping and the baby who was still sniveling. Everything seemed to go into a tailspin and she was trying to stay afloat but she was not in a good place herself. Now she was sitting and…

“Hey.”

Angela looked up to see Sam walking in, looking like he wasn’t sure if she was going to throw a book at him either with her hand or her abilities. He eyes watered slightly but she forced the tears back as she replied in their usual fashion, “Hey yourself.”

Sam studied the love of his life as she sat in the rocking chair that Castiel had gotten as a baby gift, rocking and knitting. He glanced over at the crib and made a gesture and asked softly, “Jess, doing okay?”

Angela looked over at the crib and replied just as softly, “She’s asleep. The crying wore her out. Poor thing.”

Sam watched as Angela’s expression shifted into that sad look she used to get when Castiel seemed to have melted into the reservoir and the whole thing with the Leviathans. He offered, “I guess she uh… really likes Jack.”

“Probably to the point of a bond and coupled with the fact that she picked up on pain, fear, anger, sorrow…” Angela turned to look at Sam. She blinked as she studied him before asking, “And Gabe?”

“Behaving like a teenager,” Sam replied with a slight frown. He thought it was weird and he went with it but it still was strange to think about an angel being a teenager. “He stopped crying and is asleep now. He asked why Jack left.”

“I’ve been asking that myself.” Angela shifted and adjusted the project that was on her knees. She picked up the needles and looked at her project as she clicked the tips of the needles together. “I know what happened but… is it possibly my fault?”

Sam frowned at that, “No. Why would you think that?”

“While you two were gone, I started teaching him things. More practical things. Sherlock did the book learning and Gabe was just happy to have a partner in crime. I think I messed up on a few things.”

Sam pulled up a chair to sit next to her. “I highly doubt that.” He reached over and took her hand gently, forcing her to lay whatever she was doing in her lap. “Jack… he responded to you more than anyone. You showed that you weren’t afraid of him. You were like… a mother…”

Angela made a slight snort, “Not good enough. I didn’t even teach him about mistakes and what he’s going through.”

It had been a long time since she had degraded herself like this. Sam knew that the whole thing affected her more than she had shown but she was being like she always was. And that was the one wearing the brave mask for everyone’s sake. Taking a soft breath, he leaned in and pressed his forehead against hers and gave a slight rub. “You are a good friend, teacher, partner, mother… all the things I know and love about you. And Jack knows it too.”

Angela sighed when Sam rubbed his head gently against hers. It looked childish but held a lot of comfort and was a nonverbal sign of affection that her full blooded kind used. Over the years since she and Sam got together, he had become comfortable with those nonverbal cues. He was less shy about being affectionate when in front of Dean and he had the alpha dominance down like a pro. That was from way before they mated. In any case, Sam liked using nonverbal cues with her and they held a lot more meaning when he added his own touches to them. Like the tip of his nose barely touching her cheek. It was so feathery light.

Feeling comforted, she voiced, “I ask myself why he left and… I figured out a few things.”

Sam finished and sat back to let her talk. He knew well enough she could get distracted if he kept it up and nothing turned her on more than when he got aggressive and predatory. He studied her and asked, “What did you figure out?”

“That I know what he’s feeling and what he did… I did the same thing.”

Sam swallowed slightly. He knew she was going to talk about her past and it was obvious that it was a more painful part. She knew that he would respect if she didn’t want to tell him anything and he wasn’t one to pester her unless it was something that would affect their family. “When?”

“When I first killed an innocent… after my father.” Angela cleared her throat and looked away. “It was an accident but it didn’t feel like it. And it didn’t help that there were others who were quick to judge.”

Sam swallowed, his throat convulsing with the desire to protect her even though he knew he couldn’t. That was the problem with memories. Unless you took them away, you couldn’t do much, but he could listen. “What happened?”

Angela gave a smile at Sam and gently squeezed his hand, “It was one of those times where you try to stay out of history but kind of hard not to considering it was the Irish Rebellion of 1641.”

“The Irish Rebellion?”

“Aye,” Angela replied automatically using the colonial expression. “History calls it the failure of the English to assimilate the native Irish elite. And funnily enough history repeats itself a century or so later. Anyway, at the same time the monsters were trying to take advantage of the fact that people were having wars over religious beliefs… again. I was tracking down a demon and wandered into the conflict and ended up with a tagalong.”

“Another one of your strays?”

“No. Just someone who was idealistic and wanting a better future.” Angela gave a wry smile before snort slightly and adding, “And it wasn’t even a demon but the conflict that killed him.” She looked at Sam and said pointedly, “I wasn’t on anyone’s side and I have the Irish elite on one side and the English state on the other and both demanding if we were friend or foe since I didn’t have an accent to either and with my tagalong, he was damned on principle.”

“So what happened?”

“I tried to get us out of it and I ended up using my abilities. Didn’t go so well.” Angela sighed as she put her hands in her laps and thought for a moment before continuing, “We got separated and the English killed him because he was Irish. They killed him but my foolishness led to it and he died. He died and it… pissed me off.”

Sam watched as she looked at him with a look. He knew right away what she did then. “I’m sorry,” he offered. “I suppose that was what…”

“Oh yeah. And the Centurion were not happy.”

“Well they are dicks.”

Angela snorted in laughter, “Yeah well the point is that I did get someone killed and there were others by my own hand. That just stuck with me because we were minding our own business and I did end up killing humans with my abilities. You can probably ask Sherlock and he’ll have something about that from a survivor.”

Sam studied her thoughtfully. He knew she killed people but it was always for a good reason. Actual humans usually ended up being witches doing evil or she administered justice for those that truly deserved it like when she took care of a couple of child molesters when she trekked it home on foot after getting out of the cage. Not to mention the would be rapist that thought that she was an easy target when she tracked him down to the cabin after Purgatory. This was retaliation killing and while he could point out she did the same with the demons, he couldn’t.

“You know I’ve killed people, actual human,” Angela said softly. “I even killed a few of the renegades. So I get what Jack is feeling. I just…”

“You’re sad because he left,” Sam finished as he reached out to caress her cheek.

“He asked to call me mother. Surprised me at first but I let him.”

“Well you were mother to a half god and an angel resurrected and now you’re mother to the most beautiful baby girl. It’s you.”

Angela smiled at Sam’s declaration. He always thought the best of her even when they had their disagreements. It wasn’t just love that said it but honest evaluation and it had been since the beginning before they realized their feelings. She replied with a smile, “Flatterer.”

Sam smiled back, “Honest truth.”

It grew quiet as Angela picked up her knitting and put it away. Sam watched her. He noticed she had started it when Jack entered into their lives and she had worked on it every night. She had done the same for Jess before she was born and figured it was her way of showing acceptance of the situation and of Jack in particular. He didn’t forget that she had marked Jack and didn’t doubt it was similar to what Gabriel and Castiel did to her, especially after she said what she did at the tattoo parlor.

Jack leaving them hit them all hard. He was growing on Dean and Sam saw him as a scared kid that needed a port in the storm. Angela was like a mother to him and Sam got that. It was similar to when they had to say good bye to Hibah when they returned her to her real mother. It only showed that she cared but it did hurt her. He could tell even when she put on the brave face to get through the day and he could tell that this affected her and she had come to think of Jack as one of her own. Forget the other stuff, to her Jack was family.

A sound distracted Sam and he looked up to see that Angela had gone over to Jess’ crib to look in on her. He got up from his chair and joined her, wrapping his arms around her from behind. In a low whisper he said, “It’ll be okay, Angie. We’ll find him.”

“I know.”


	8. 13.07 The Light in a War of the Worlds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer is in a cage by Asmodeus' hand but he gets a surprise visitor. Tag to War of the World.

If Lucifer was only thinking of himself, which he usually did, he would claim that he got the short end of the stick again. He would rail that there was no such thing as company loyalty anymore. Then there were the daddy issues since dad decided to leave and have bonding time with Auntie Amara. Maybe that saying of fatherhood changing a man was true. He was concerned about his son. His son Jack.

He had taken his chance of getting back when the rift door was opened and he charged right through. He made it but he was a little depleted as he discovered and people thought him to be like a crazy bum. They thoughts he was crazy when he called himself by name. No one had fear of Satan anymore. Maybe a good thing or… In any case, he knew he needed to find his son and the one being or maybe two that he knew his son would go to was Castiel and his little pretty.

The eye flare thing worked in saving Castiel’s butt from the angels and he got why his little pretty used it. It was pretty intimidating though the last time he saw her doing that she was expecting and she wasn’t tolerating shenanigans in her house. Her words, not his. He remembered how he felt then and he knew if anyone would understand his son it would be her. Which was why he would look for her but he knew she would be around the Winchesters and he really didn’t want to tangle with them at the moment.

He found Castiel about to be killed and he had to admit that he was surprised to see him alive since he did kill him. At least his just being there was good for something since the other angels fled like scared chickens. He remembered another time when they fled from her. At least the ones that fell like he did ran. He was glad to see Castiel on some level but he could tell that the feeling was not mutual and he could understand it. He asked about his son and learned his name was Jack. A little simple but he could work with that.

_If you can please just shelve the eternal enemies thing for a second, we have a situation. And by ‘we,’ I mean everything alive. We’re sort of all gonna die._

Lucifer wasn’t kidding when he told Castiel that to get his attention since little brother did look like he wanted to kill him right then and there. That was to get his attention. There was another reason he had to get back besides looking for his son and giving a warning about Michael from the other world. It was related to Michael and he knew that Castiel would be interested in listening since that angel was prone to follow rules unless it concerned the one person he would fight tooth and nail for. Now that he thought about it, maybe he could have done a bit better about explaining things.

Lucifer knew Michael’s plan and while he himself had been set on raising hell, he was terrified of what Michael from the other world was planning to do. He was nothing like the Michael he remembered that was basically a drooling idiot now in the cage. He also knew that in that other world, his little pretty was dead. She had been killed defending the humans and standing up to Michael. If anything it was pretty consistent with the one he knew well but he couldn’t believe it that she was dead. She had kicked Michael’s ass royally and his. He had seen it.

He had told Castiel that the other Michael knew about her. He admitted that he had talked about her, mostly about the fact that she could kill an archangel and had. She had killed Grigori. She was the one that went up against Amara in the beginning and trapped her in the Mark. Of course with a big mouth that made Michael interested in her. And Castiel grew pissed with him.

 _You told Michael about her? You put her in danger. You put_ them _in danger._

Lucifer didn’t need to guess since he did know that his little pretty had a baby. He knew who the father was and he took delight in tormenting Sam since, in his opinion, the younger Winchester ruined her. The irony was that like her, he didn’t remember a damn thing about all of that. Maybe it was the one good thing dad did for one of his angels. But the he could see where Castiel was going with being pissed and in all honesty… he felt like an ass running his mouth the way he did.

Lucifer may have tormented her and the others but he always did look out for her in his own way. Even when in the cage he may have gone overboard with the torture but he was bored then. And it was frustrating that she didn’t remember a damn thing. So part of it was lashing out at dad through her and Sam over that. In the end though he made it clear that no one was to do serious damage to her or suffer consequences. Granted he only heard about the renegade that Sam killed, which actually made him proud and eager to get into the younger Winchester and wear him to the prom. It was unique.

But with this new Michael, it was different. Lucifer didn’t have any doubt that she could take him on but after what he had seen. It was like the whole thing with Auntie Amara all over again. Only this time he was thinking that there was going to be limping and near dead coming in. Maybe another Grand Canyon but it might tear the planet apart. Either way, he knew it was going to be bad if Michael and his little pretty met face to face.

“You better pray that nothing happens to them in the meantime,” Castiel’s gravelly tone cut through the imposed silence.

Lucifer looked up and stared straight ahead at the bars to the cage that Asmodeus threw him into. It didn’t matter that Castiel was grousing at him. He was in the one place that he feared. Besides, it wouldn’t do any good to say anything.

“What will happen to whom?”

Lucifer jumped and nearly fell over. He looked up and blinked in surprise to see the one that had been the subject of discussion. He gave a slight smirk and replied in his usual fashion, “The usual my sweetheart. The usual plans of getting you upset, maybe worried and all just to see what you do… which usually puts a halt to any of my plans.” He paused when she continued to stare at him and frowned, “By the way, how are you here. As far as I know Asmodeus has you thinking everything is fine.”

Angela gave a slow smile that was almost predatory, “You honestly think that I was that fooled?”

Lucifer shrugged, “Maybe not. You always were suspicious of the angels and demons.”

Angela gave a throaty chuckle, “True. I didn’t like either of you assholes, except for a choice few.” She sat beside Lucifer.

Lucifer stared at her. From the look of things, she was honestly there. He could reach out and touch her. “Seriously, Angela… what are you doing here?”

Angela looked around and shrugged, “Getting a feel for the enemy.” She gave a side glance and added, “Never stopped looking into how Asmodeus survived that or who it was that I actually killed that night.”

“Seriously?”

“There are more than one way of communication,” Angela replied as she stood up and looked around the cell. She looked at the Morningstar. “Bet it taught you not to screw with bonds.”

It dawned on Lucifer and he gave a slight smile and a nod, “The guardian-charge bond. So Castiel told you everything?”

“More or less once we reconnected.” Angela shrugged her shoulders before narrowing them at Lucifer. Her tone became annoyed, “And I didn’t appreciate what you did. You’re lucky that I’m not in the mood to turn you into finger paint.”

“Can we put aside the enemy thing for a moment? I mean since you’re here and all,” Lucifer countered, well aware that he was a baby beside her right now even if she wasn’t here physically. At the look she gave he continued, feeling like he was babbling, “I mean, yeah I killed Gabriel and Castiel but… everything’s fine right? You’re still functioning. It’s not like I killed Sam.”

The crackle of the lightbulb bursting outside the cell had Lucifer look at it and then at her. He shrank back a little, “Okay, maybe that was a mistake mentioning that, but it is the truth. I mean, I remember what you did both times in my domain.”

Angela had been pacing and looking around. She turned to look back at Lucifer with a gimlet eye and countered with, “And how did that work out considering…” She left the last part hanging and turned to face Lucifer head on. “Look, I know Asmodeus is looking for Jack and I am looking for him too.”

“Always knew you’d be drawn to the ones like you.”

“I am worried for him. That he may be in trouble and I can’t do anything about it because I am trying to work things out. The nice thing is he lets me know his okay. At least that’s what I think that emotion is.”

Lucifer perked up. He looked at Angela and interrupted, “Whoa, whoa, whoa… what are you saying?”

Angela looked at Lucifer with an annoyed look. Her eyes looked like they were going shoot lasers at him. She replied, “Jack and I are bonded. I’m his protector.”

Lucifer couldn’t believe it. Well, of course he could. She protected those who couldn’t do it for themselves or taught them how. She looked after the ones that could be persecuted and took risks because she knew she was looked after by others. Now… “You’re the kid’s protector? How did that happen?”

“Because I refuse to let others hurt him,” Angela offered with a shrug.

Lucifer realized he wasn’t going to get more than that. He sighed and turned away. It seemed like he was the one getting the short stick in more ways than one. He put his hands on his hips and looked at the wall. There was nowhere else to look at. He could look at her but he didn’t want to see the look on her face and he only had the walls and bars.

“So you really were scared of being locked in that cage.”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes you do.”

Lucifer sighed and turned to look at Angela, “Alright, fine. I didn’t like that I was thrown into a cage to spend eternity there. Left with nothing but my own company. So what was I supposed to do?”

Angela stared at Lucifer and shrugged, “You’re talking to someone who has been imprisoned too, Lucifer. The difference between us is that I know when to hold back and not cross that line. I am not like you.”

Lucifer looked at the tawny orbs looking at him with a firm look. No emotion was behind them that would be directed at him. She would have no reason to care about him and yet here she was. “Why are you here?”

Angela studied him for a moment before a slight smile came over her face, “Because I didn’t believe what Dean reported from Cas for a second. That and Cas gave me a heads up. I found it humorous that you two were together for the moment but I wanted to hear what you had to say straight from you.”

“You mean the whole thing with Michael and the wierdo world?”

“Yep.”

Lucifer looked at her and snorted, “Should’ve known. You always were a planner. Planning ahead and predicting tactically the next move. Even with Auntie Amara in Round One you were deliberate.”

“Well considering that I have to worry about a demon that I thought I killed a few years ago, you could say that I have to worry about the things that are now a possibility.” Angela crossed her arms over her chest. “Now spill.”

“Fine, fine,” Lucifer replied like a petulant child. “I may have… blabbed to other world Michael that you are capable of whipping his ass. Kind of mentioned a few things like you did kill a Grigori and have fought against more than one angel at a time. You know, the things that your human friends tell stories about.”

“And what possessed you to do that?”

Lucifer wilted under the look like a kid that had gotten caught doing what he wasn’t supposed to do and was trying to explain it. “Just being me,” he offered with a grin. “I mean it was more bravado but…” Lucifer dropped his smile and sobered as he continued, “Angie, I’m being serious. This other world Michael is nothing like the one you know. He’s the one responsible for other world looking like it does. He is driven to hunt and kill.”

“Reminds me of someone I know.”

“Don’t take this like a joke. I mean it.” Lucifer stepped forward. “He wants to come to our side and I know that if he does, he’s gonna do what he did there. That and probably try to kill you like he did over there.”

Angela raised her brow at that, “What?”

“There was their version of you over there. Did the same thing you do here. Was on nobody’s side except those caught in the middle and she paid for it.”

“At least it was probably clean.”

“Don’t joke about this. It did happen and all because the Winchesters didn’t exist there.” Lucifer gestured in a direction to make a point. He looked at her and watched as she eyed him. “Look, I know I’m an ass as you would say and as much as I liked to think that you were mine…” He shook his head slightly. “You aren’t whole without your other half. It’s always been that way and why I’m guessing you are dead in the other world.”

Angela was surprised at that reply but ended up snorting at Lucifer. “Please.”

“You know it’s true.” Lucifer watched as she straightened up. She looked like she was going to leave. “You learned the hard way what you really are and I’m not talking about your angel self. I’m talking about what Dad made when he created you. You learned the hard way and probably the intention because hey, you’ve managed to die and come back more times than should be possible. You’ve pissed off Death because of that. Please… I’m sorry.”

Angela turned when she heard the apology, “What?”

“I’m sorry.”

Angela looked at Lucifer. He stared back, feeling contrite for everything. He shook his head as he spoke, “I don’t want this world to lose probably the greatest thing since creation. And I know it would be terrible for the rugrat you have to lose its mother.”

Angela studied the fallen angel. She thought about it for a moment before approaching Lucifer. “I will look into it. The rifts are a concern but I know next to nothing about them. In the meantime, try not to open your big mouth. I know Asmodeus is going to use you and Cas to get to Jack. He almost succeeded in opening a hell gate. Believe me this is not going to bode well.”

Lucifer felt relief that she was listening. He nodded, “Fine. What else?”

Angela had turned to walk away and headed towards the door. She paused when she heard Lucifer and turned to look at him and replied, “Keep listening and watching. I’ll come by and chat.”

“So I get visiting hours.”

“More like I need you to pay attention. There is someone who is alive because of a witch we both know and he is not the sort you want to be on the business end of what could kill you. I smelled sulfur on him so that leads me to believe he is working for Asmodeus now.”

“Got a name?”

“Ketch.” Angela paused a moment before continuing, “And he shouldn’t be taken lightly since he won’t hesitate to kill you.”

“How come you’re still standing?”

“I threatened to kill him, kicked his ass and know that he killed one of Azazel’s chosen for no good reason.”

“So this is revenge.”

“It’s revenge for killing my friend, Mick Davies.”

Lucifer gave a slow smile, “I guess we aren’t too different…” He held up his hands when he saw the look. “Fine, call it justice.” He sighed and looked at her, “Fine. I’ll be your stoolie but wouldn’t it work better with Castiel?”

“We all have our part to play. You should know that.” Angela gave a smirk as she playfully pointed at Lucifer. She turned to walk towards the door.

“You don’t want to stay? Party is getting started.”

Angela turned and smirked at Lucifer, “Definitely. Now… wake up.” She snapped her fingers.

Lucifer’s eyes opened. He found himself still in the cell he had been thrown into but there was no sign of Angela. He looked around for her and called out, “Hey… Castiel…”

“What?”

“Did you…? Never mind.” Lucifer backed away from the bars of his cage. Probably the angel didn’t sense it or he did and was not in the mood. It was crazy anyway. Then again she could walk in dreams. But when did he fall asleep? Angels didn’t sleep really so?

_You’d be surprised what I have learned since I got back from hell._

Lucifer paused as he heard her voice in his head. She really had grown powerful. This was a side she hadn’t shown before. Now he was beginning to understand why she was considered a great tactician. She knew how to play her cards and it was said that the only the aristocrats and purebloods of the vampires knew the full extent of their powers. Seems she was an exception. Grinning, he nodded and murmured to himself, “Alright my sweetheart. I’ll do what you ask. I’m gonna enjoy this I think. This little war you have been playing for a long, long time.”


	9. 13.08 The Frog, the Scorpion, and the Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel listens to the story of an old time fable while they are trying to find Jack. Tag to The Frog and the Scorpion.

Gabriel had always looked out for his Cat. Since she was a little girl, when he first met her, he kept an eye on her. First it was to make sure she was safe from all the normal perils of the world. Then later it was from all the things that she had yet to discover about what lived in the shadows and ended up training her in the things that made her into the beautiful and deadly creature of today. Even when they were separated for a time, he still kept an eye out for her. Then he died.

He had no regrets when he gave her time to get away from Lucifer. It was the one great thing he did for her though probably the dumbest thing. He didn’t get a chance to tell her what he had done to her so long ago because he knew how powerful, what she truly was. Then he unbound it and since then… He regretted not being able to see it in its development but he knew that she was in good hands especially with her husband and mate, Sam Winchester. He never expected that she would bring him back.

Bringing him back was not what anyone expected. She got saddled with a boy angel on the cusp of puberty, in human years. It certainly made things tough especially when Sam and Dean were fighting over the Purgatory thing. It got easier when they got the bunker and torture when the Librarian Sherlock moved in. In the end though, they all got along; they were family. And it expanded when Jack entered the picture.

Gabriel was excited when Jack came to live with them. He didn’t care that his was Lucifer’s kid. Maybe it was the adolescence in him being excited for getting a partner in crime. He figured that it was because he had lived with his Cat and the Winchesters for as long as he had that he became accepting of the differences. Hell he was the biggest supporter of Sam and Angela’s union. In any case, he knew that Jack made a big difference on his Cat and was a part of the family and the day he left…

Gabriel knew his Cat well. She kept up the being strong for the sake of the family, especially since little Jess had been screaming her lungs out from the power burst and probably sensing all the hurt and pain from everyone. He could tell his Cat was sad and that she tried not to get her hopes up when the boys discovered a chance at finding Jack. She actually got angry that they considered playing along with a demon. Pot calling the kettle black moment but he figured it was because it involved being a dealing devil that she got up in arms about it.

She didn’t agree with their choice. But she stood by them. Gabriel even heard her admit to Sam that she had hope that they would find Jack. It was one of the few moments he saw of them holding each other in the hall. For her sake, Gabriel had hoped that they would be able to make it so that they weren’t dealing with a devil and get what they needed to find Jack.

He offered to go but Sam and Dean weren’t biting. It wasn’t that they didn’t trust him. Sam trusted him with his baby’s life. He got it. Because he still was his Cat’s guardian and he looked after little Jess. He didn’t have any hard feelings at being left behind. He would keep an eye on things and he did.

It was quiet when the boys came back. At least quiet enough to hear them enter. Gabriel was certain Angela did but she was content siting in her chair, holding her and that was when she decided on telling a story. Again it had to be the adolescence in him that had him eager for her story that he literally sat at her feet, not minding being surrounded by the dogs that were there. Then again, she had a gift of storytelling and the tale she was telling was familiar.

“Once there was a mysterious and beautiful lady who traveled the land helping people along with two brave knights that were brothers.”

 _Those two as knights? Seriously?_ Gabriel resisted snorting since he was getting a look from Angela. He was an archangel and a badass in his day but she was scary and no one thought to cross her. He straightened up and looked at her.

Angela continued, “The lady and the knights traveled together helping people from all those that needed help from the monsters of the land and they eventually ended up with company that became dear friends.”

Jess cooed and Gabriel was distracted by it. He recognized it as her happy coo. It meant one of two things: she was enjoying her mother’s story even though she was too young to understand it, or her father and uncle were home and she was happy that both her parents were there. Gabriel was certain it was the latter since he heard the click of dog claws and he sensed Sam’s presence in the bunker. Jess wriggled but was attentive to her mother as Angela hummed a chuckle.

It wasn’t long before Angela continued her tale, “The company that followed the knights and the lady were of different people, the kind most people were afraid off, including the knights, but only because they didn’t understand them at first. The new members of the company wanted to help though and they tried their best, but one made a mistake and it made him sad. So sad that he felt he had to leave the company.”

Gabriel felt his throat constrict. There was a reason why Angela was telling this story. He wouldn’t put it past her to tell it because it was on everyone’s mind. There were methods to her madness. He would know. He taught her that.

“For days the missing member, a young boy, was out in the world alone, trying to understand his mistake. It caused sadness for the lady who looked after him and the knight that she had special feelings for. Then one day an answer seemed to appear.”

Gabriel could hear noise in the entrance to the hall. There was a slight shuffling of boots and some clicks from dog paws and he was joined by two other dogs. He knew that Sam and Dean were both listening to the story. He didn’t give a sign that he knew they were there and neither did his Cat. She just kept telling the story, focusing on little Jess.

“It was a traveling salesman that claimed he had a means to find the youngest of the company. The problem was that he wasn’t a very good man but had done some bad things that hurt people. The lady didn’t want to deal with him even though in her heart she wanted more than anything to find the lost boy. The knights were conflicted as well. In the end, the knights went to hear the salesmen out.

“The knights knew the salesman was up to no good and thought that they had it under control. They had met more of this salesman before and knew that they could be betrayed at any moment. So they went on a quest to retrieve something valuable to the salesman. It was there that they found out the truth behind the salesman’s motives.

“It was betrayal of a sorts when one of the craftsmen that went with the knights said that they were not going to risk their lives. The knights though did what they always did. They helped the craftsman who had been lured in by the salesman. They did hand over the valuable artifact even though they thought it wasn’t worth it for the way to find their lost boy. But they had one last trick up their sleeves.”

Gabriel shuffled in his seat. He knew that Sam and Dean were listening to the story. He noticed that Sherlock had come in too. Normally he would be hiding behind the stacks and listening to any singing or storytelling and would be secretly amused by it or thoughtful. His Cat had everyone’s attention and the thing was she hadn’t even been on this job.

“The knights knew that the salesman had to be taken care of even though the craftsman was betraying the knights to save their own life. It was not their fault though because of the contract the salesman enacted. However, there was a way out and the knights provided that.

“The salesman thought things were going to be business as usual but the craftsman stung the salesman a final blow by destroying the item the knights had found. The salesman was defeated by betrayal. The craftsman was free but the knights lost the means of finding the lost boy. In being who he was, the salesman lost his life to betrayal but he was a betrayer himself. For the knights, being the protectors they were, they lost the means of finding their lost boy but in the process they saved someone else who had been betrayed and set them free.”

Gabriel watched as Angela adjusted her seat as she held Jess. He rested his elbow on his knew and his chin on his hand as she finished, “You see Jess, everything has nature but that nature is influenced by what and who they are. And sometimes the actions we do are visited back on us but like the two brave knights, they managed to help the craftsman from a fate that was of their own doing and in the end it is better than what they started out for because there are better ways. They just have to find it.”

Gabriel watched as Angela looked up and looked at Sam and Dean. In all the years he had known her, he had never seen the amount of understanding pass between his Cat and anyone she cared about as much as she was sending silently to the Winchesters. He had harbored some resentment against the Winchesters for making her cry and hurting her when they did. It was a thing all humans did. It was in their nature to hurt each other in the various ways they did. But they did try as he told Lucifer. They tried to do better. Here in her version of the Frog and the Scorpion, she was saying that they can try again and better.


	10. 13.09 The Light's Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angela gets through the door with the Winchesters and Jack but it seems that they all don't end up in the same place but she is where she and Jack end where they were looking for. Tag to The Bad Place.

_I can’t hold it._

_Yes, you can._

_I can’t._

_Listen to my voice. Focus on that._

_Yeah, listen to my voice_ , Angela thought as her awareness was starting to return. That was her usual go to when soothing raw or wild power or people and creatures. There was something about her voice that most people and things found soothing and it calmed them. It worked in part with her empath ability but she hardly tapped into it unless it was necessary. Like when she soothed Sam when he was particularly freaked out and to Dean when he was really beating himself up. Jack was different.

She had been missing Jack since he left but she knew he was okay. If it had bene otherwise, they would have known. She had marked Jack though unintentionally. She just wanted to give him anti-possession and other warding to protect him and the traditional means didn’t work. It was more of that past history that she had no memory of; the history of actually once being an angel and one she wished could just go away. It made things strange since Sam was her soul twin hinting that he was once an angel too. It made her feel like she did when she learned what the cherubs did in terms of their job but it never dispelled Sam and she was certain of her love for him.

In the end, that small part helped in relating to Jack when he came into their lives. She acted normal and more like a welcoming parent. She actually didn’t care about his abilities at the time. She saw a scared little boy even though he was more adult in his physical form and her protective instincts took ahold and the motherly side of her was already in high gear since she became a mother. And it hurt terribly when Jack left because he took an innocent life and he didn’t know how to deal with it and the fact that he was so powerful.

Finding Jack again… The first thing she did was grab him in a hug and felt her heart seem to jump for joy when he returned it. She didn’t want to let him out of her sight but she wanted to find out and help him with what he was doing. And that was finding the door to the other world. The world that led to Mary.

Angela never lost hope that Mary was still alive. The boys were in that state of not betting on that horse and Sam was trying to be optimistic like her. Jack showed them that Mary was still alive and revealed that he was trying to find the door to that place. That was when he explained about dream walkers and their ability to see other worlds. It had her excited and fascinated. Not really the perfect timing for it but sometimes these things had a way of popping up and they did find the most powerful dream walker there was and she wasn’t big on helping them.

It didn’t help that Dean drew a gun. Angela had the business end of weapons pointed in her direction but never from someone that was family to her. Her usual reaction would have been to take out the threat but this time she gave a look at Dean and was aware that a rumble came from her and her eyes vamped out. It was one of the few times that there had been tension between her and Dean that was almost violent. The last time it had bene particularly violent was when Dean was a demon. In the end, the girl helped them but it didn’t help that they were being chased by angels.

Being a protector was something she had done for as long as she could remember. She protected those that couldn’t do it for themselves or taught them how to do it. And she knew a thing or two about fighting angels. She managed to set up the defenses while Sam laid down the wards but that didn’t keep them out. That was when Kaia told them that she would help them out. Jack helped but it was clear that he needed a stabilizer and she offered.

Pam the psychic once called her a conduit. At the time she didn’t fully see it or appreciate it. Now, she could see how she was like the pendant that was still around that teddy bear she still had. Even though she was a fighter, she always helped someone. Well she certainly helped in this case with Kaia.

The last thing she heard was Kaia making rhythmic screaming. She also remembered telling Kaia to calm down and to remain steady but even she could see that Kaia couldn’t hold it. The girl didn’t have the practice needed to sustain her concentration but it was impressive for someone who used drugs because of the nightmares of the bad place. It was enough for Jake to open the door but Kaia lost it at the critical point and here she was feeling like the time she and the Winchesters had been sent back in time to the Medieval Ages.

This place reminded her of the war torn areas she had been in. She could see the desolation of the place and thought that what Sam and Dean described couldn’t do justice to what she was seeing. The building she was in looked like something out of those slasher flicks where the place looked old and abandoned with a few holes for good measure. And it didn’t help that there was the feeling of torture that was present.

She looked around and found Jack was here. But there was no one else. No Sam, Dean or Kaia. Not even their dogs were there. Something had happened and she was thinking how they had been separated when they had their Quantum Leap adventure in the Medieval Ages. Something was terribly wrong. She got the sense of it and she was sensing Sam’s discomfort. It had her frown since she couldn’t see him anywhere and…

_Angie, where are you…_

Angela hissed under her breath as she lifted herself and looked around. She could hear Sam in her head but it sounded faint, like he was far away. Or he wasn’t in that other world, meaning he didn’t make it through. That meant that he was dealing with the angels with Dean and… She hoped that the angels didn’t do anything to them or there would be hell to pay. But that didn’t tell her where they were at.

“Mother.”

Angela turned to look and found Jack pushing himself up and looking around. He looked confused a bit but he was okay. He also looked relieved that she was there. She patted his shoulder and said in a low timbre, “It’s okay Jack. I think… I think you got us here.”

“Angie?”

Angela recognized that voice. She knew it from anywhere. She never thought that she would hear it ever again. Her breath came out in shuddering breath of relief. She was relieved but now she had to have the moment of truth. Slowly, she turned in the direction of the voice. Her breaths were coming out in slight pants.

Mary Winchester was there and alive. Angela held out hope but to see it for real… it was a relief. She glanced at Jack and then up at Mary. Her old friend was in one of those contraptions she thought should be relegated to museums since they were the kind of things barbarians used. She pushed herself to her knees and looked at Mary. She breathed, “Mary.”

Mary looked at her with a dulled set of eyes. Angela had seen that look before with prisoners that could only look forward to torment from their captors and death. It had her wondering what the time difference was in this world. It was a minor thing but in the back of her mind she knew that it was going to have some bearing while they were there. Right now, she had to figure out how to get Mary out of that thing. She looked at Jack.

Jack was looking confused but he realized where he was at. He saw Mary and got to his knees and slowly got to his feet. He looked pleased with himself that he got them there but Angela knew that he had yet to understand that the situation could easily get them way over their heads. They had to get Mary out but she also had to be what she had always been. She had to be their protector. She was a warrior and that was her place in the world but she chose what she made of that role. She just hoped that they would be able to get out of there and find their way home.


	11. 13.10 Sisters of the Wayward Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire learns a hard lesson that has been preached to her from just about everyone and yet she still is determines to make things right. Tag to Wayward Sisters.

Jody was a mom first and sheriff second. The last was being a hunter. The first two were part of being normal. It was what she did before meeting Sam and Dean Winchester. After meeting them and the woman who held the weight of the world on her shoulders more heavily than the boys, she became a hunter. Sometimes those lines blurred especially considering that she was looking at a beautiful baby girl being held by Patience while waiting for the person at the other end to pick up.

It was relief to hear Claire’s voice. That meant that she was alright. She didn’t waste time as she said without preamble, “It’s Sam, Dean and Angie. They were on a hunting trip and haven’t been home in a few days. It’s time to come home.”

It was enough to get Claire to start heading back to Sioux Falls but Jody knew that it was far from over. She and Alex had been working on any leads. They tried Donna and Walt but there seemed to nothing.

“I’ve tried a few things on my end,” Sherlock, who was every bit like the storybook character, but more willing to not be a pain in the ass, said as he came in holding a tablet in one hand and a cell phone in the other.

Jody looked at him, “Like who?” She had to be sure nothing was going to happen to the baby that Patience was entertaining for the moment.

“No one that would do harm to the infant that hasn’t stopped crying for mommy and daddy and the annoying whelp can’t do anything,” Sherlock replied in his usual tones. “Just people I know that respect boundaries.”

“Meaning that they won’t come after Jess,” Gabriel came in while munching on an apple.

Jody looked at Gabriel. She knew he was the archangel but it was hard to see that since he was currently looking like an adolescent barely into his teens. It had been explained to her that he had been brought back from wherever dead angels went and had been given back his last vessel but the caveat was that the shoe was on the other foot. He had to be raised in the human world, which he was doing quite well despite the stories she had heard. She knew he was devoted to Angela and followed her lead and actually respected Sam and his authority. Dean… she wasn’t sure. Looking at the angel, she said, “Well that’s good.”

“Look, Jody,” Gabriel said as he stepped forward, “We brought Jess to you because we didn’t know what to do. I figured that she missed her mom and dad and wasn’t having it with me and Shirley here.”

“Don’t call me that you whelp.”

Jody was used to the banter since it seemed to be normal and she could tell Angela’s hand was in that. She bought that argument since the baby had been crying inconsolably until she held her. Then it got better when Patience entered the room and the baby responded to her. “I just want to make sure. I know Sam and Angie have been having problems because…”

“Because they behaved like me and had a kid. Crossed lines and such,” Gabriel replied with a wave of his hand. He then explained, “My daughter is half angel and half god and _that_ is a story that would take too much time. So I get it. Believe me, Cat, Sam and Dean have been with us in making the bunker like a fortress and contingency plans.”

Jody looked at the angel. She could tell he was serious. “Thank you,” she said. It seemed to be the best thing to say.

There was nothing more to say since Claire arrived. Jody was relieved to see her. She almost wanted to smile when Claire asked Alex, “Miss me?”

“Not really.”

Claire had dropped everything to head back home the moment she heard Sam, Dean and Angela were missing. True it meant going home to Jody and having the same arguments but… they had saved her life. Angela taught her how to be a better hunter and she wasn’t going to forget that training session. She was certain that it was going to be awkward but was confident with her dog, Zeke, by her side. She still was surprised that there was a breed of dog that was made for the hunt.

Looking in, she spotted Gabriel and frowned, “Who’s he?”

“Nobody important but concerned that my Cat, Sam and Dean are missing,” came the answer, much to Claire’s surprise.

It was added to when Patience came in holding a baby. Jody gestured towards the girl saying, “I want you to meet someone. This is, uh, this is Patience. She drove up from Atlanta. She’s been staying with us for a few days.”

Claire stared at the new girl holding the baby she recognized as she quizzed the girl. It was cool that she was a psychic but there was a larger question and she pointed at the baby, “What are you doing with her?”

Jody should’ve known that would have been the first response and would have said something but Patience said, “She wanted to be held and… she didn’t want anyone else.”

Claire looked at Jody, “What about Angie? Where is she?”

“As I said,” Jody said, “She’s missing too.”

Claire looked at Gabriel, who was looking rather amused at the whole scene. It was then that she noticed the man in the background that was doing his best to ignore everyone else in the room and seemed to be succeeding. She asked Jody, “And who are they?” She gestured at the two.

“Jess’ guardian angel in training,” Gabriel said raising his hand. He gestured at Sherlock, “And he’s… the babysitter.”

“I’m a Librarian you prepubescent cherub.”

“I’m an archangel you emotionally constipated…”

It was one of those moments that Jody prided on being a good mom as she stared at the angel and the librarian. They didn’t have time for this and she needed everyone on track if they were going to find Sam, Dean and Angela. She looked at them before turning back to Claire and explaining, “Gabriel and Sherlock were watching Jess when they went missing and when it became evident that there was an issue with the baby, they came here.”

“Sounds like they have babysat before. What’s different?” Claire shook her head and shrugged her shoulders.

“It’s because Jess is sensitive to the supernatural,” Gabriel replied as he took a step forward. He looked at Claire and his gaze shifted to note the baby’s disposition in Patience’s arms. “An unusual thing but then again, Cat is not your typical dhampir and Sam? Trust me, we had good reason.”

“She’s been showing me images of Sam, Dean, a woman that I guess is her mom, a boy and locations constantly,” Patience offered as she stepped forward. “And I’m also getting feelings of longing and… she’s scared.”

Gabriel sighed and shook his head, “She’s been scared and sad since Jack left. This just… Jody…” He looked at Jody with a pleading look.

Jody took in the look and she looked at Claire. Claire had been looking at the baby, now almost a year old. She was sitting up in Patience’s arms and had her head tucked under hers but looking at her. She then looked at Gabriel and the librarian. It was bad if they were here and she had seen how Angela took care of her daughter and one instance where Sam came to the cabin to see her. She nodded, “Okay. What do we know?”

From there it became a concerted effort to find the Winchesters. It included finding the dream walker Kaia. Despite the outburst between Claire and Jody about Claire’s style of hunting, they managed to find where the Winchesters were last seen with the help of Jody’s friend Donna Hascom. They found the rift, the door to the bad place, according to Kaia, and where Sam and Dean were. It didn’t end so well, not as well as anyone would like.

Jody understood what Claire was feeling. She knew what it was like to lose someone. Claire felt sick and awful. She had gone into that alternate world to save the people that had saved her and she couldn’t even protect Kaia. The dream walker ended up taking a spear in her chest, protecting her. And to add insult to injury, Angela wasn’t even in the same place with Sam and Dean. It was just so messed up.

At least Claire was able to muster up the courage to say goodbye to Jess. The baby had responded favorably the moment her green eyes lighted on her father. Sam certainly turned into the masculine version of Jody when he took the baby into his arms. It reminded her of the last job she did before coming to help them out; seeing parent and child hugging after a separation that could have gone bad if no one was able to help.

_Being a hunter is not easy Claire. There are good days and bad days. Good days… you save someone. Bad days… those stay with you._

Claire couldn’t help remember Angela saying that when she took her under her wing. She remembered the look the woman had on her face as she said it. Like it was a mixture of pride but also sadness. She wasn’t sure and Angela went on to say that a hunt wasn’t jumping in guns blazing. You had to plan and that there was nothing wrong with it. Funny thing was that it was the same thing Jody had said to her.

It was funny how when it came from someone who was the parent to you it sounded overbearing and yet when the same thing was said by another adult, it was words of wisdom. Jody knew that. She knew that Angela had taken Claire under her wing to teach her more about hunting and how to better protect herself. And she knew the woman would tell it like it was including personal experiences that were not always pretty. And it seemed that Claire was remembering those lessons.

Claire knew that lessons were coming back to bite her in the rear. She used to think that it was Angela’s way of having a joke but now… She recalled how Sam was holding his daughter, like he wasn’t going to let her go. She felt bad that they couldn’t find Angela, that she was stuck in another place. Maybe this was one of those bad days Angela told her about; that even if things didn’t go right, like a death, you still had the end result. You took the victory where you could and try to move forward and do it right the next time.

It was the least she could do. Sitting at the table, looking at Patience, Alex, Jody and Donna, Claire knew that hunting wasn’t really a solo job. You needed people you can count on. People were social beings, Angela once said, and they thrived best when their experiences involved people they interacted with. It sounded long winded and boring but Claire realized it was meant to hold some truth and it was something she could hold onto. Together with her friends and family.


	12. 13.11 Light's Breakdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is at the point of losing all hope of getting Angela and Jack back but he is trying for little Jess. Tag to Breakdown.

Sam sighed as he shifted to look at the clock on his nightstand. It was six in the morning and he was wide awake. Even in the darkness he was wide awake. He couldn’t sleep and hadn’t been able to since getting back from that place he and Dean had been at. He knew why and he was making an effort. If not for himself, for his daughter.

Thinking about it, Sam shifted to look down at Jess. Her little body was tucked in the blanket that Jody had given her along with the onesie that she had bought. Absently and gently, he fingered the dark locks that were growing and smiled as Jess shifted in her sleep. Her little arm wrapped around the little lamb doll that had been made to look like an angel and squeezed it close to her making him chuckle gently.

Since they got back, Sam hadn’t wanted to leave the baby by herself. He took to taking her to bed and watching her sleep, trying to be assured that everything was okay. The thing was… he wasn’t sure if everything was okay. He didn’t know if things could be made right. They had lost Jack and Angela; more likely they were in the place where his mom was.

Sam had never dealt well with separation from Angela. At least the kind that made him feel helpless. If it was something like her going all the way to Europe like she did, he was like a miserable kicked puppy. It was more like when she had been in Purgatory. Now that same feeling of helplessness was creeping on him. He was feeling helpless because they didn’t have ways or means of finding Jack and Angela. They were stuck and he was here. It was like Purgatory all over again.

Looking down at his sleeping daughter, Sam felt his throat convulse as he watched her sleeping body. He felt guilty looking down at that little bundle of joy. Because of his idea to find his mom and bring her back, her mother was gone along with the boy that made her squeal with joy and that she cried hard over when he left. He really was a screw up.

There were plenty of times that he said he was a screw up. Even if it was in a similar vein as his brother and Angela, his actions were the colossal fuck up. And yet every time, she said it wasn’t so. It was probably true but Sam never felt justified in accepting it. A couple of times that nasty little voice in his head said she was overlooking his flaws but deep down he knew that was weak and untrue. She acknowledged his flaws and still loved him. Loved him enough to follow him into hell and back.

_There will probably never be a reason for me to be that pissed with you._

Angela had said it a long time ago when they were first starting out. It was like she knew their road would be difficult and maybe she did know. He recalled how she once touched the Impala and seemed to stare into space before deciding to go with them. Whatever it was, she chose him and his brother and never looked back. Every choice made was for them and she fought for them. The memory and thought of it brought tears to his eyes.

She was a better person despite all she had done. That was the truth. She was better than all of them. Sam maintained that position through the good times and bad. Dean was in agreement too. And she was the most beautiful thing in his life.

Jess stirred slightly, making a slight mewling sound. Sam looked at her, waiting to see if she was going to wake. When she settled, he gave a soft smile and whispered, “I’m sorry Jess. I know you miss your mom. I want to make things right but… I don’t know how.”

Sam looked at his sleeping daughter and reached with his finger to stroke her baby cheek. He shifted to lay on his side and pillowed his head with his arm. He stared at his daughter and made sure she was covered and noted that he had put her on Angela’s side of the bed. Maybe it was stupid since Jess hadn’t shown any signs of becoming a dhampir and was too young for that anyway but he felt that by putting Jess in close proximity to things that were her mother’s it would be a comfort. Certainly worked for him even if it looked strange.

Then again it never did feel strange when he would sometimes purposely stand close to Angela and actually sniff her, mostly her hair. Ever since the first night they had sex and became a mated pair, he had been drawn to her scent. Well it was before that but he pleaded he was under the influence at the time and she let him have it. He liked the scent that was life and not death as most beings said clung to vampires, even half vamps. And other beings liked it too and it made him worse than a watchdog on overdrive. Still, he figured it would help and it seemed to.

It was quiet for about an hour before Jess started stirring and Sam recognized she was hungry. Her eyes opened and seeing him, she mouthed, “Baba.”

Sam was well aware of the routine Angela had Jess on and once teased her about having Jess act like a normal person but watched attentively and put a hand in with taking care of his daughter. He was able to slip down to the kitchen and get a jar of baby food and a spoon along with her sippy cup and drag it up to the room. It was probably dumb but he didn’t feel like seeing anyone at the moment, namely his brother and it wasn’t the first time he fed Jess in their room.

Sam spent the morning in the room with Jess, talking to her and watching her play until he got the call from Donna. He wasn’t going to turn down helping Donna because he was in a funk. He just didn’t want to leave Jess alone and… He bucked up and went with Dean to help Donna find her niece. She was a friend and he wouldn’t turn his back on a friend. Not even Angela was that callous. Solution? Jess came along with Gabriel, who actually was smart enough not to say anything.

The job turned out to be up their alley in that their guy was kidnapping people and selling body parts to monsters to the highest bidder. And the justification? It saved lives. It actually disgusted Sam and he thought about how Angela would take it. She understood the need to keep the populations in check but… It had him wonder if she would see merit in the reason. Maybe not after the fact that he was the one to be auctioned off. That would have been something to see and the monsters watching would realize that his wife wasn’t someone to be messed with.

It didn’t turn out that way though and he was stuck. He kept trying to get free and really thought that he was going buy it with the gun pointed at his head. He heard the shot but… Maybe he had been unsettled by the whole thing and he really shouldn’t have said what he said to Donna about relationships. He was hardly one to talk since he was married to one of the monsters and Donna knew that. He just felt lost. And it didn’t help that Gabriel had decided to follow them, making him and Dean nearly hysterical about Jess’ safety.

Sam wasn’t sure what to do. There was truth to what he said. They lost people that they had grown close to. He could make a list by name of friends and family dying after they left the scene. He was tired of it, being the cause of people losing good people in their lives. It was a massive weight that fell onto his heart every time he looked at Jess.

She was only a baby but already her life was cursed. He was the cause of her unhappiness, the reason she didn’t have her mother. She was just one more person that he had to make this up to in his ongoing quest of redemption. It was what he thought about as he held her in his arms to soothe her to sleep in the motel they were staying at, grateful Dean wasn’t bothering him overmuch. He smiled gently when Jess yawned and cuddled into his shoulder and muttered, “It’s okay Jess. I’m sorry.”

Jess cooed and that’s when it happened. Sam had long known his daughter was receptive to the supernatural, specifically the veil. She cried when an angel was killed and she definitely bawled her lungs out when Jack left. People said babies in general were sensitive to the emotions around them and responded. Yet, with Jess… it was different. He barely heard what Patience experienced when she held the baby and now he wished he had. This was a new thing to him and made him feel a little ashamed at what he was feeling.

The warmth was familiar but different. It flooded his being and an image came to mind. He blinked as he saw Angela in his mind’s eye and her looking at him with a smile on her face. Her laughing. They were memories, not recent, but from a long time ago. He recognized her in her coveralls and when they shared a beer. They came in succession, all the good memories he had of her until it lighted on one that wasn’t familiar and that was when he heard it. At least he thought he did.

Jess cooed again and shifted to cuddle more into her father’s shoulder and Sam found himself looking at the bland walls of the motel. He blinked, still not sure what happened and turned to look at his brother who was sound asleep and Gabriel was in the other bed. He was not looking forward to that arrangement since Shadow decided to sleep with Dean and that mutt could take up a whole bed if you let him. Sam’s attention went back to Jess asleep in his arms as he tried to puzzle things out.

Laying there, watching Jess sleep next to Gabriel, Sam thought about what just happened. He was willing to court the idea that there was more to his daughter than just being overly sensitive. He had to admit that this was new territory since his wife was half vamp, and a powerful one at that, and he had demon blood in him. He didn’t know what to think but…

Jess shifted in her sleep to face him. Her little hand shifted to touch his large one and he watched her little fingers curl in that baby way of hers until they wrapped around his finger and held on. She always did that with him and he couldn’t help but lean over and kiss her little head gently. Maybe there was more to Jess than meets the eye and all the more reason to keep her safe and find a way to get her mother back.

For the first time since getting back to the bunker, Sam felt like he could sleep if only for a couple of hours. He laid on his side looking at his daughter and the angel that once made his life a living hell but was now turning out to be a pretty good guy. His thumb gently rubbed Jess’ little fingers as his breathing calmed.

_I’m with you Sam. Always and forever. No matter what._

Sam felt despair still but he would keep trying. If not for his sake then for Jess’. He would find a way to bring back Jack, Angela and his mom. Maybe they would have a family again. 


	13. 13.12 Various and Sundry Lights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel can see that with Jack and Angela gone, things aren't going so well. Seems like he may have a plan though. Tag to Various and Sundry Villains.

Gabriel had long accepted that the shoe was on the other foot when he had been brought back. It wasn’t easy at first being stuck in the body of a child and he couldn’t trade or upgrade his vessel through means of magic. He essentially was forced to live like humans and that meant spending the years aging and growing like they did. And that meant he needed adult supervision, which came in the form of his Cat and her moody mate, Sam Winchester and his brother Dean.

It hadn’t been easy but each day opened more to his eyes and he started to see the benefits of Nathir’s spell. The shoe was definitely on the other foot since he had always taken care of his Cat up to his death. Now she was doing the same thing for him literally and the guilt he harbored from their tiffs made him try extra hard not to be a pain in the ass. Even if it was frustrating that while he was still powerful, he didn’t have full capacity.

Still, there were upsides to it. True, he was subject to whatever Sam and Dean said for him to do and of course Sherlock the Librarian, but he had done his duty as an angel but using his powers to help. Even so far as going on a couple of hunts and kicking ass. Then came Jack and he truly had a partner in crime.

Yeah he knew that Jack was his older brother’s Lucifer’s son but that didn’t matter. It certainly didn’t matter to Cat. She just took him in and was mother to him. It’s what made it hurt so bad when Jack ran away after that one case. Gabriel felt it and he definitely didn’t like it that little Jess had been feeling it. And he didn’t like it that something happened and now Cat and Jack were missing and he didn’t like it that Sam was trying hard but it was clear that things were just not the same without Cat around.

Certainly it would be better if she had been here to help since Dean got himself put under a love spell hex bag and let two bitchy witches make off with the Black Grimoire. He was in the same mindset as Sam in trying to stop it but Dean had other ideas. He was just grateful that Dean didn’t believe in hitting kids. While he certainly and technically wasn’t a human kid, it would look pretty bad and it wasn’t like he could harden himself yet. A punch would have left a mark.

Gabriel liked that Sam trusted him to look after Jess but he was just as upset over this. And besides, he knew that his Cat would expect that everyone that knew and could would rush forward to help or at least come up with a plan to help. So he decided to play a bit of the teen rebellion thing and took off, following Sam to stop Dean. Of course he wasn’t stupid and called for backup for Sherlock since the Librarian was working on his end to find a way to get Cat and Jack back. It certainly was fun to show up using Angel Air and send the sledge hammer flying. He looked at the two witches and said in a snarky tone, “I don’t think so bitches.”

He should’ve have known they would’ve laughed at him because he was a little kid. They did laugh at him and they did get away but not before he left a mark on them and flashed his eyes at them. He turned just in time to see Sam almost passing out from Dean’s chokehold and on the ground was a hex bag. He would have done something but it was zapped. Looking up, he saw the one person he didn’t expect to see. He ended up letting out, “And here I was thinking that I cornered the market on coming back to life. Hello Rowena.”

“Hello boys.”

It certainly wasn’t a good meeting all around. First Sam blew his top and demanded, “Gabriel, where’s the baby?”

“Relax, Sam. She’s safe just like I promised. Kess is watching her with Shirley.” Gabriel knew it was a mistake to be so flippant about it but he really had to keep Sam focused and it wasn’t like he buried his head in the sand about Sam’s behavior. “And I was concerned since Dean-o here was behaving like a lovesick puppy. Those infatuation spells are a bitch.”

“Watch your mouth.”

It was more of a putting up and shutting up thing but Gabriel was well aware that Sam had a thing about swearing in front of Jess and he thought it wrong to hear it coming from kids even if they were technically older than what they looked. And it certainly didn’t help his case when he was made to stay at the motel or rather told to stay. It wasn’t like the Winchesters could do much in terms of warding though Sam learned a few things.

Gabriel was a trickster by nature. He loved illusions and loved making people look left when they should be looking right. It entertained a scared little girl in Italy and it became a training tool for her. So it wasn’t too hard to figure out how to break the warding that prevented him from leaving the room. He just had to be creative about it in order to not scare the civilians. And the funny thing was that he used to not care about that part too much. Call it learning something new being raised by the Winchesters or teaching and old dog new tricks. Either way, it didn’t matter and he was free and on the trail, thankful that he remembered how to track the Winchesters using what he taught Cat so long ago and trying to teach her before she knew about herself.

It was rather funny and maybe just desserts to see Sam and Dean standing but wobbling. They were flanked by their dogs, which were whining because they couldn’t move and it was easy to see why. He grinned as he stepped forward saying, “Well this is something I didn’t expect. Take that back. Maybe I did.”

“Gabe,” Dean growled, “Quit the snarky attitude and help us.”

Gabriel smirked at Dean and watched them flounder a little bit. He sighed when Sam growled out, “Gabe!”

“What?” Gabriel frowned a little like they were interrupting his favorite TV show. “It’s not every day I see you two get duped by a hex bag. Thought you were more careful than that.”

“I swear,” Dean groused, “That when I get out of this I’m gonna pull out your wing feathers one by one.”

“Gabe, Rowena did this. She’s going to get the book,” Sam pleaded.

“Don’t beg, Sam,” Gabriel said with a frown, “I really don’t like it from you. It’s not you.” Sighing he stepped forward and looked at the hex bag. He lifted his hand in a gesture they knew so well and studied them both.

Sam’s look had Gabriel wanting to give in right away. He knew how hard it was but he needed Sam on his A-game. If anything he was probably the only one that could encourage his Cat and maybe find her. He had done it before. He said in a low tone and in a language he knew Sam would understand, “Be the warrior, Sam. Like she knows you are.”

Maybe it was a waste of precious minutes but it worked to a degree. Sam lost his begging look and looked at Gabriel like he was going to put him over his knee and teach him a lesson. And that wasn’t too far a bet since he did do it once surprisingly. It had stunned Gabriel and he had no sympathy from Cat afterwards. Seeing the look, Gabriel snapped his fingers and the hex bag burst into flame.

“You are in trouble,” Dean groused as he moved his limbs to make sure he could move. “I know I have a few cans of holy oil…”

“Gabe.”

Gabriel knew he was in trouble when Sam called him by name. He knew Sam didn’t like it when people exploited his relationship with Cat. And as far as Sam saw it, he was being the misbehaving teenager. It actually had Gabriel afraid of what Sam was going to do to him and he swallowed slightly as he stepped forward to stand in front of the younger Winchester and said, “Sam… I’m sorry. I just…”

It surprised him when a hand clapped on his shoulder. There was a clouded expression in Sam’s eyes but the adolescent angel saw that there was a thanks in there but it wasn’t going to be voiced. Maybe not ever but maybe that was okay. It was a learning curve on both sides. At least Gabriel hoped so. He was relieved when Sam said, “Don’t do that again.”

“You mean taunt you before nuking a hex bag?”

“That and the other thing.”

“But…” Gabriel sighed before finding his words, “I know you don’t like it, Sam. I don’t like it myself which is why I do that to myself. Like you, I’ve been trying to making it up to Cat and… that means making sure you’re on the right track. Not just for her but for you and Jess. Call it living as a human but… I don’t like seeing you like that and it… scares me.”

It seemed to make Sam thoughtful but they didn’t have much time to dig into it since Rowena was on her way to get the book. Gabriel let the Winchesters take off before following them using his own mode of transportation. He blinked when he heard the zombie witch scream and pound on the door and then turned to see the two witches going after Sam and Dean. “I don’t think so,” he snarked and gave a wave of his arm.

That felt good and he gave an impish grin at them and said, “Hey ladies. Missed me?”

The screams told him no but he wasn’t one to take it personally. He would have handled them both but Sam and Dean were being what they were. They saw him as a kid and their instincts said to protect. And it certainly wasn’t pretty when they started getting their asses kicked. Sighing, he picked up a piece of broken table and held it like a bat since their magic made them stronger and faster. He took a swing and hard.

He wasn’t up to full power but he still carried clout. He certainly wasn’t impressed by their attempt of magic on him. He rolled his eyes, “You know if you really want to be good, you’d cut it with the infatuation spells cause… weak.”

It helped being a distraction but not enough since Dean got hit in the leg by a hammer and Sam was locked in a struggle that could determine which end of the knife he would be on. Gabriel knew that he sort of promised and wanted to cheer Sam on but… He growled and looked up at the sky, “Cat, we could sure use some help right now.”

He didn’t even know why he said it but it made him feel better and it seemed to encourage Sam a bit too. It was like he got a second wind and managed to shove the witch on top of him off. In fact that second wind was like super strength since the witch went flying. Gabriel couldn’t help but be impressed and shouted, “Now that’s what I’m talking about Sammy!”

In the end it was rather grotesque with Rowena using one of her spells to turn the sisters on each other. It certainly had Gabriel making a face since it was all too familiar with him. He shook his head and shifted to turn away when he felt Sam’s hand on his shoulder and him being turned to look away. Definitely not something to see no matter what you were. It was just gross and he couldn’t stop but thinking about his older brothers.

He was grateful for the distraction when they got home. He was following the Winchesters down the stairs when Kesset emerged with the baby carrier strapped to his torso and Jess asleep against his chest. It was actually comical in Gabriel’s view since the Avian never bothered to hide his wings from the Winchesters or Sherlock and he always looked like a badass biker and he was wearing a baby carrier.

“I really don’t like this contraption but I figured Sam wouldn’t like it if I used my wings,” Kesset said as he walked towards the group. He looked at Gabriel and said, “Well I see you’re no worse for the wear.”

“Only because his snarky ass was kept out of trouble,” Dean muttered as he hobbled down the stairs.

“Dean,” Sam muttered his warning as he helped his brother down.

“Please,” Gabriel replied, not helping it, “Who burned the hex bag and who sent that sledgehammer flying? That was me.” He gestured towards himself and grinning proudly.

“And completely dangerous,” Sam countered.

“I’m not a little kid in case you two numbskulls hadn’t noticed,” Gabriel retorted. His hazel eyes narrowed as he put his hands on his hips. “I may be stuck in this pimply faced vessel and my power level is not full on angel but it’s still powerful enough to ward off a couple of hot looking witches who were bad news in the first place.”

“I’ll go get the medical supplies for you Dean,” Kesset said and turned without further words, taking Jess, who surprisingly hadn’t woken up with the shouting.

“Thanks Kess,” Dean said as he took a seat. He turned his ire onto Gabriel, “Oh really?”

“I got out of the motel room didn’t I?”

“And you think it’s okay to go waltzing around snapping your fingers?” Dean stared at Gabriel and shook his head, “You’re not a hunter. You’re a kid angel who remembers everything and I doubt has learned self-control.”

“Oh you’re one to talk. Both of you.” Gabriel snorted at them and paced a little to ward off his anger. “Like you have self-control with being an ass, Dean? Or the excessive drinking away problems? Yeah, self-control my ass.”

“Gabe, calm down,” Sam warned.

“I am surprisingly calm, Sam,” Gabriel countered. His eyes were wide with expression in annoyance bordering on anger. “Cause believe me when I was my old self I did cause a few typhoons in the Pacific and maybe a natural disaster or two. So this…” He pointed at himself, “Is being remarkably restrained. And you want to know why?”

“No,” Dean countered, “Because it’s always been the same with you with your devil may care attitude.”

“And for good reason unless you’ve forgotten what I told you before I bought it.” Gabriel looked at the pair of them. “I am an ass. I know it. And _she_ knows it. It’s always been that way since the beginning. I love Cat, my sister. I love her and despite everything she loves me back. It’s why I get why she stuck with you two.”

It was quiet for a moment and Gabriel just left it. He was done talking and ignored Dean growling at him. He found Kesset and saw that Jess was still asleep in the carrier. The Avian was fetching supplies to check Dean’s leg. Gabriel could have easily done a check himself and he had been practicing healing but he wasn’t in a giving mood. And he was well aware that the look of disappointment would be on Cat’s face if she were there.

Kesset went about like it was nothing as he picked up what he needed. He looked at Gabriel and shoved some supplies into his hands. “There you go.”

“Aww come on, Kess,” Gabriel whined as he took the supplies.

“You need the practice. According to Shifa’.”

Gabriel restrained from correcting the Avian. It was a done deal and it wasn’t like it was offensive. It was the name the Egyptian pantheon knew to call her. And he couldn’t really disobey since Kesset was a parent too and was Captain of the Guard and a guarantee that the Avian could knock him into the next century if he wanted. He didn’t protest and turned just as Jess made her baby sounds of waking up.

He got the supplies to Dean and was followed by Kesset, who moved very much like a housewife as he held out a couple of beers to the Winchesters. “I take it things resolved itself?”

“More or less,” Dean groused as Gabriel got out the ice pack. He looked at the angel and grunted, “Are you going to practice?”

Despite the short tempers from earlier, it was fairly normal for either brother to be like a parent and have Gabriel do or present his homework for inspection. That included practicing his angel mojo. It was also an indicator of an apology of sorts and Gabriel took it and ran. He did his angel mojo to assess Dean’s knee. “Well you’re lucky that b- witch didn’t break something.”

Gabriel knew that Sam was listening and would have said something. Gabriel did feel pleased when he got the Sam nod of approval for catching himself. It allowed him to banter with Dean while he helped with his knee. He also listened to Sam as he asked, “How was she?”

“Mostly quiet. A little fussy times but I think she was more interesting in looking at my wings. Like mother, like daughter.”

Gabriel wanted to wince since most of the time they avoided mentioning Cat directly or implicitly. Kesset was not known for prowess with human interactions and subtleties even after all these years. Some things just eluded him or he simply thought the reasons were silly. He didn’t have to worry since Sam seemed okay and actually smiled when he wriggled a finger at Jess and she responded. He also noted that he didn’t take the baby either but let Kesset continue to hold her. He decided to enter the conversation, “How did you manage to get her to sleep?”

“Sang a lullaby.”

“You?” Dean’s eyebrow went up a fraction in bewilderment.

“Yes.”

“You can sing?”

“Dean…”

Gabriel was familiar with people thinking they were insulted when Dean voiced disbelief and surprise in the tones he did. Sherlock certainly had things to say and not all of them pretty. Kesset was placid and comfortable as he waved off Sam and explained, “I do know a few things besides my duties as a guardian. It’s how I won Kate and I sing to Ayana.” He shrugged like it was no big deal before looking at nothing particular and saying, “Well I best be going.”

Jess was safely transferred over to her father and Kesset removed the harness saying, “Well I hope that I can return. I’ll bring Ayana. She’ll love to play with the little one.”

“Yeah. Thanks, Kess,” Sam replied as he propped Jess on his shoulder. He gave a nod and a smile. “Bring her. Jess will love it.”

“Kee!”

Gabriel couldn’t help but chuckle as Jess turned and pointed at the Avian. Sam held her as she reached for one of the wings and repeated her name for Kesset. He joked, “It’s definitely the wings.”

“Gaa!”

It was enough to produce chuckles from everyone. Kesset took the moment to leave and Gabriel accompanied him to the door. He waited until they were outside before asking, “Did you find anything?”

Kesset flapped his wings to adjust them and prepare to take off. He stretched a bit as he replied, “I checked in the archives and had a few of my guard that like to do research take a look. They are as stumped as you are about alternate realities. The most obscure readings mention it but more as theory. Other than that…” He shrugged his shoulders slightly.

Gabriel sighed and looked at the door that led to the bunker. “We gotta find something, Kess. It’s not because the general feeling of missing someone. Sam has never handled it well when she goes missing.”

“Makes sense. They mated before he said yes to Lucifer and they spent a year and a half in hell…” Kesset looked at the young angel, “Their whole mated life has been a roller coaster of survival. It is rare to find moments of happiness and calm and when they do, they seize it while they can.”

“You sure you haven’t considered changing careers. That was profound like a shrink or something.”

Kesset frowned a little at the explanation. “I don’t know about that.”

“Just saying that you’re good at observing,” Gabriel clarified. “Makes you a good guardian.” He sighed and put his hands on his hips and looked out at the road that led to the bunker. “Well I guess I better let you go.”

“If I find anything, I will let you know. I may come tomorrow with Ayana. She is learning to use her wings.” Kesset grinned a bit before sobering slightly. “Let Sam know for me. Things will work out little warrior.”

Gabriel couldn’t help but grin a little. Kesset saw him in a child’s body but treated him as an adult more or less. He did become a parent when he had to and it helped round out the way he was being ‘raised.’ He raised a hand in goodbye before Kesset was gone. He turned to head into the bunker and found it unusually quiet.

It was easy to sneak around. He was good at it and taught his Cat how to do it. She just made it look sexy and good. Using it, he made his way through the bunker, noting that Dean was not where he had left him. Focusing, he snuck to the kitchen and that was where he heard the low murmur of voices. He got close and he could hear Sam and Dean talking.

He knew they were both suffering from missing their lost family members but it was the first time he heard Sam admit that he didn’t have optimism. In all the years he knew the younger Winchester, Sam always was optimistic or determined and in part that was because of Angela. She tried to find hope even in the darkest of situations and it was contagious. It occurred to him that Sam may have been optimistic for his brother’s sake but he needed that same anchor and now she was gone.

When he learned that Angela and Jack were still missing, he figured out that they had landed where Mary Winchester was. From that, he took it up with Sherlock and they both started on a research project. It had to be in between his schooling. Angela started sending him to a local school for more human interaction practice. He found that she had taught him well and he was able to keep up with the other kids. It was one of the few things that she didn’t tell Sam but she must have. In any case, he and Sherlock were looking at a way to find and bring them back and he even asked Kesset.

Seeing and hearing Sam admit that he didn’t know what to do anymore, it made Gabriel determined to find a way. He did have an idea but he wasn’t sure how anyone would take it. He stole up to the room where he knew Sam had tucked Jess into bed. She was asleep when he went in, confident that Sam wouldn’t mind. He stole over to her crib and peeked in at her, sleeping comfortably. He couldn’t help but smile at the baby that was already saying basic words. Grinning, he stroked her hair and sobered, “Well Jess, I think I have a way to get your mom back. I just don’t know how Sam would take it. I already know what Dean would say.”

The baby didn’t say anything but Gabriel studied her before he kissed his first two fingers and then placed them on her head. He left the room and went to his own. His desk was covered with esoteric books, all opened to indicate research. He looked at the stack and then at one of the walls in his room. It was true he had an idea but it was risky and he suspected that something was already in the works. Sighing he looked up at the sky, “Cat. I hope you have a plan in the works or trying. We miss you and Jack here.”


	14. 13.13 Light Devil's Bargain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel has been captured by Asmodeus and made into his full grown self but with painful memories. Tag to Devil's Bargain.

It is said when you die, your life flashes before your eyes. When you’re brought back to life, it is a rush of memories from when you were alive. Sometimes they went right up to the moment you died. For Gabriel, it was different. He didn’t get bombarded with his death when he was brought back by his Cat.

When he had been brought back, he had been scared. He was stuck in a smaller body and he remembered everything he had done. The emotions that assaulted him though had him scared since he knew what he had done to his Cat and the Winchesters. He was afraid of what would happen to him since he was vulnerable and not to full power.

He was wrong though. He was loved from day one. His Cat welcomed him. Took care of him despite what was happening to her at the time. The Winchesters did too in their own way. It was a bit more difficult for them because they remembered what he had done to them. He did ice Dean over a hundred times and made them miserable in his TV land. In the end, they were family.

They were family enough that he endeavored to be human and live like his Cat and Winchesters. He had chores, he went to school and he was the big brother to little Jess. Few people knew that he was an archangel that had been brought back. He had been careful not to show his powers when he went out, taking a few tips from Kesset on how to hide his wings and essence. Castiel helped in that too.

With Cat gone, he tried not to be a burden to the Winchesters. They wanted to find her and Jack but they were stuck in another world. Sam was nearing devastation and had nearly lost hope. Dean was struggling with the realization that Sam could and did have those brooding moments. Sam was just able to keep it in but he had his shadows and demons. So he did his best to keep the bunker up by cleaning and helping with Jess in between his research with Sherlock and going to school.

It had been a rather reluctant decision but the point had been made that he needed to be in school with kids his own age if he was going to blend in more with the humans. It was also leaning more towards that normal that in the past Sam had wanted. And it wasn’t overly bad. Cat did her research about local schools and found one that had bus service within walking range of the bunker. She took him herself and enrolled him claiming him as a younger brother and cleverly giving him the name Gabriel Adonai.

_You still love your father despite everything._

She knew him better than himself at times and Dean had the whole it took one to know one routine. Sam was the understanding one. It made life good and he liked going to school. It was funny because he was technically _way_ older than the other kids but he had a good time. Life was good. Until trouble came.

Sam and Dean were out with Castiel trying to figure out how to find and capture Lucifer. The plan was to use him to open the doorway to where his Cat, Jack and Mama Winchester were. Gabriel wasn’t sure how he felt about it since he loved his brothers. He didn’t say anything since his idea was just as risky and maybe just as much a snowball’s chance of opening the door, but Sherlock knew and still thought it was better. Gabriel had it on his thoughts as he walked to the bus stop to go to school that day. That was where it happened.

He remembered the princes of hell. He remembered everything about his life before he died. Except the manner of death. The last thing he remembered before nothing was seeing his Cat and him sending her off. Then blackness. The next time he saw the light, it was night and he saw strange things and shadows. And he was in the body of a nine year old. So he remembered quite a bit and he remembered Asmodeus.

Like his Cat, he thought she had killed him. It was a feat in of itself since it took pretty much something like the First Blade to kill one of those bad boys. Plus his Cat would have been seriously pissed at the time and that only occurred if it was Sam, Dean or someone she really cared about. So he was shocked to see him. The next feeling was fear.

Gabriel had been scared before but it had been real fear. The kind of fear that triggered the fight or flight response. He was frozen with fear and it was because he knew he wasn’t going to be able to get away scot free. He wasn’t even sure that he could play it off that he wasn’t an angel. When Asmodeus appeared in front of him, he just froze with fear.

“Well now, so the rumors are true. You were alive but just hard to find.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

It sounded very much like his Cat and what she would say. Gabriel doubted that it would work on the prince of hell. He tried to keep the bravado and took uneasy steps away from the demon each time he advanced. It only seemed to amuse the demon since he grinned creepily at him and said, “Now don’t lie son. It’s a sin especially for your kind.”

“I’m not lying,” Gabriel replied, taking a few steps backwards. “Just a normal kid and… I’m late for school.”

It was very much like being a kid turning tail and running but if there was one thing Gabriel remembered being, it was playing it smart. He knew he couldn’t win a fight in this state. He couldn’t call for Sam and Dean and he doubt Castiel would respond. He wasn’t bonded to Kesset and Wosret and Hibah didn’t really know him to be alive. The only option was to run, hide and then call for help. So that was what he had done.

It didn’t work out exactly since demons could be pesky like angels and move faster than normal humans. So Gabriel shouldn’t have been surprised to see Asmodeus appear in front of him, amused that he was trying to run away. It caused him to fall back and he landed on his butt. He was quick getting up and tried again but to no avail. Wherever he turned, Asmodeus was there.

“No don’t try to deny inevitable, son.”

“I don’t know what you want. Please, leave me alone.”

It was futile since the demon ended up grabbing him. The last thoughts he remembered was wishing his Cat, Sam or even Dean could hear him and try to rescue him. He actually cried when he was taken but deep down, he knew no one would respond. No one who was there in that world that could hear. Except for Jess and he cursed because he knew she would be bawling right about now forcing Sherlock to call Sam.

The next thing he knew, he was thrown into a cell. It was musty and dark… definitely a cage of hell. It made Gabriel tremble at the thought. Enough that he tried to get as far away from Asmodeus and he curled up into a ball. He begged, “Please, let me go.”

“Now I can’t do that. You see, I need you to help me get rid of Lucifer.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

Gabriel went quiet when Asmodeus pulled it out. He definitely remembered that. It was the only thing on par with Absolution to take down an archangel. He knew then that there was no hiding now. He could try to deny but Asmodeus knew what he was doing. Shaking his head, he said, “No. I won’t do it. I can’t.”

“Yes you can and you will.”

“No.”

It was the wrong thing to say since it caused Asmodeus to narrow his eyes and he looked positively terrifying. It was probably funny and ironic that he was scared of a demon when he used to combat them. Maybe he did get more out of being a kid than he thought. One of them was the vulnerability. Gabriel just shrank smaller and hugged his knees.

“You will be the one to rid us of Lucifer. But it seems you are not yourself.”

That was obvious. He was in a kiddie vessel. What his last one looked like when it was a kid. And his power level matched. Still, Gabriel had managed to get out, “I am for my size.”

The comment amused Asmodeus and he laughed but it wasn’t the kind to get warm fuzzies over. Instead, he said, “Then we’ll have to remedy that. And you will do what I say.”

Gabriel was terrified. It was said screaming was music in hell. He must have added to it because what the prince of hell did to him next was excruciating. And it wasn’t exactly physical pain.

Gabriel remembered when he came back that his Cat asked him about what he remembered and how she watched him. As he went through that torture session, it dawned on him what she was looking for. She was wanting to know if he remembered the manner in which he died.

As whatever it was Asmodeus did to get him to full size, it unlocked that which forced panicked screams from him. He remembered it as clear as day. He could see after he had sent her away, knowing how pissed she was. He was looking at Lucifer, taunting him but also saying that he was on their side and hers. When he remembered the angel blade sink into his chest, he gasped and screamed. At least he thought he did.

It felt like an eternity until it was all over and he collapsed on the ground. When he opened his eyes, he realized that he was no longer the teen version of himself. He was fully grown. He took shuddering breaths as he looked at his large hand. It was interlaced with his memory hitting him in spurts. More particularly his death but also some other memories, making them strung out together that he felt his mind was going to explode.

“Now that’s more like…”

There was a rumble. It had Gabriel whimper, a thing he never did except a few times as a kid. He curled in onto himself as the whole place shook like it was sitting on a fault line. There were sparks in some areas and at one point he thought he heard thunder. It wasn’t a result from it being hell. Even Asmodeus knew that.

“What was that?”

Gabriel sensed the question was being asked of him. He didn’t answer though as he whimpered, trying to process through his memories. He didn’t have to answer since he knew what it was about. It echoed and mirrored his own being. He whimpered as he was hauled to his feet and Asmodeus demanded him to tell him what it was. He looked at the prince of hell and saw the angry eyes. He sort of wanted to laugh but couldn’t because he knew the reality of the situation. Finally he whispered something.

It was playing with fire since Asmodeus demanded from him yet again and shook him hard. He whispered again louder, “Absolution.”

If there was one thing Gabriel knew, it was that evoking the name of the earthbound angel was guaranteed to bring about one of two things. The first was anger and the vengeful types going off. The second was fear. The kind of fear he was feeling now. Beings had the good sense to be afraid of her. In past lives she had been known to do almost the equivalent of destroying mountains and laying wastes to entire regions. Maybe not exactly that but close enough. Then there was her current life and that was full of things that had the demons squealing like stuck pigs. So yeah, it was almost sweet satisfaction to see the brief worried look cross Asmodeus’ face.

It was short lived. He was thrown back down to the ground and Gabriel was certain that Asmodeus was going to do something else to him. It wouldn’t matter even if he was needed to wield the archangel blade. Ironic thing was that there was only one human who would be able to and that was because of the whole thing with Dad. One secret never to tell.

Gabriel held onto the brief satisfaction as he was manhandled. He barely noticed the pain of his lips being sealed but he did noticed that he was left alone in his cell to stew in memories. And stew he did. It reverberated in his skull painfully as he relieved how he died. He could see Lucifer looking at him like he was sad but he wasn’t. Lucifer was willing to turn the gods into finger paint because he was throwing a tantrum.

_I’m sorry, Cat._

“I’m sorry, Cat,” he mumbled to himself as he huddled in his cell.

The only reprieve from his solitude was hearing Asmodeus and another voice. Gabriel remembered that voice loud and clear. It produced a sensation that he wasn’t used to and didn’t exactly remember. Had he been more coherent, he would have realized it was his reaction when someone hurt his Cat or almost killed her, or did kill her.

“I’d like you to meet, Gabriel.”

Gabriel heard his name and looked up. He couldn’t speak but he could hear and see. Asmodeus, he didn’t give two rats asses. His lackey… that was something else. He stared straight ahead looking lost but inside, he was seething in anger at the one who almost killed his precious, Cat.

_I’m going to kill you, Ketch._


	15. 13.14 Light's Intentions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel meant well with what he did and there was a reason for it. Still it is a slippery slope to hell paved with good intentions. Tag to Good Intentions.

_Hell isn't merely paved with good intentions; it's walled and roofed with them._

Castiel didn't understand why his charge and beloved sister would quote such a thing and from Aldous Huxley of all people. He knew she was literate and she loved literature from all periods; she had her favorites, but he never understood why she put such stock into some of the profound wisdom she said they had. Until now.

Up until now it was just Angela and Jack missing in that alternate reality after they attempted to open the rift to find Sam and Dean's mother, Mary Winchester. They were trying a find a way to open the rift and bring them back. Things became more complicated when they returned to the bunker and found Sherlock in a state because Gabriel hadn't come home from school and the baby was only consolable in her father's arms but still crying her distress. It seemed that things went from bad to worse.

To top it off, Castiel was still trying to come to terms with the fact that he had been dead. He knew it and he met the empty. And yet here he was alive again because of Jack and the boy did it because he missed the angel and because of her. Because Angela missed him too even though she never voiced it and Castiel knew it had to be painful for her.

The plan was a solid one to have Donatello read the angel tablet to get the spell to open the rift. What they didn't anticipate was the fact that the prophet had no soul and that he had been helping Asmodeus. It put them in a sticky situation and it had Castiel wish for the briefest of moments that Angela was there. She would have figured it out. Maybe she would have found a different way even with the threat of war looming over their heads.

Castiel knew she was a tactician. The proof was in her ability to rally the troops under one banner against a common enemy. She had executed maneuvers that were documented in the history books that children studied. It often made Gabriel laugh since he knew the truth when credit was given to so and so. And it was true that she was once one of the host along with her soul twin, Sam. She was as deadly as an archangel; the proof was that she had been the one to bind Amara into the Mark and that was only after the worst had happened.

In some ways, Castiel was glad that his charge had a high tolerance for the things humans did. She was exhaustingly patient with the most stubborn of personalities and she could make a point even when she was having "polite" conversations. He understood why Sam and Dean would say that she was the better person. He understood why children gravitated towards her and he understood why Jack would respond to her more readily than he did to the Winchesters. She was special on all levels. It was why he had to get her back. If not for his sake but for the baby's.

Castiel looked around the room, making sure that Sam wasn't around. He didn't blame the young father for his overprotectiveness. Jess was special and the reason why he made the choice he did. He had to protect his family, prevent those that wanted to hurt them from hurting them. He was not going to lose any more people that mattered to him. He walked up to the crib that was in the warmest part of the room.

Jess was lying in her crib, looking up at the mobile that Dean had made for her. It was not the kind of thing to be found in baby stores but Castiel could tell that it had been made with love and a need to show the youngest Winchester what her family was all about. He almost wanted to smile at the replica of the Impala that dangled above the baby and even more so when he spotted the jasmine blossoms also hanging on the baby's crib.

Castiel peered over and down at the baby and was immediately captured by her gaze. She stared at him with her eyes that looked more like Sam's eyes and made a soft coo. Castiel couldn't resist and reached downward and held his finger out to the baby only to have it captured by her little hand. His lip twitched as her fingers closed on his in a firm grip. He stared down at her, at the innocence and murmured, "So innocent. You know nothing of the world you were born into."

It sounded cruel but it was merely observation. To him, Jess was innocent, unknowing of the things her parents and uncle did to keep her safe. He swallowed slightly as he mused, "You were born to parents who love you and would do anything for you. But not what I have done."

That was stretching it since Castiel knew some of the things his charge had done. Most she had told to Sam and Dean over the years but not everything. That wasn't the point though. He paused as he stroked Jess' cheek even though she held on tight to his finger.

"Sam said not to kill him and I didn't but... I've done worse. Dean says that he is alive by machines. Your mother would say that it is no type of life for anyone."

Jess made her baby sounds. Castiel paused and studied her. He knew her different sounds for what her needs were. It was just her sound for him. She tugged on his finger and it startled him with the grip she had. Looking at her, he said, "Something is different now that I have been brought back, but things haven't changed. You, your mother, your father and uncle are important to me and others that make up your family."

Castiel would have continued but Jess gave an extra hard tug, causing him to frown, "What is it?"

Jess made a sound and Castiel frowned. He recognized the startings of a tantrum and reached in and picked her up. He made a slight face when she calmed down and cuddled into his shoulder and burbled happily. "You really are like your mother."

Castiel held the baby and looked around the room, surprised that Sam wasn't coming in. He had noticed the baby monitor on the counter and it was on. Then again, the baby wasn't making noises that would warrant attention and probably Sam knew he was in there and was just letting him be. He held the baby and listened to her coo and burbled while she cuddled into his shoulder.

He wondered what it would have been like if Jack hadn't been forced to grow up. Would his charge be cuddling him in her arms as equally as she did her own daughter, raising him as her own? Would they even be in the situation they were in now? Castiel thought about that as he held the baby. Maybe it might be the same since Michael from the other world wanted to come to theirs and Lucifer was on the loose.

He didn't like what he did to Donatello but there was a larger picture in play there. It wasn't always clear and it did suck in the words of his charge. He got the distinct feeling that if she were here, she would have been voicing her disapproval. It was tempered somewhat that Dean seemed to understand since Castiel quoted him, but deep down, the angel knew that he was treading a fine line. He had his reasons though. They were good intentions.

Jess made a sound and her little hand grabbed his tie. Castiel paused in his musings and looked down to see the baby looking at him like her mother would. Like she was trying to see deep within him. Her little hand reached up and patted his face. Castiel couldn't help but mutter in his gravely tone, "I wish you to desist."

Being a baby, Jess didn't listen and continued to pat the angel's face. Castiel stared at her and that was when he felt it. He blinked as he was tapped into a set of images. They were all of his charge and Jack but the perspective was different. Frowning, he tried to make sense of it until he looked down and saw Jess staring, her little hand firmly on his cheek. As quick as they appeared, they were gone and the baby removed her hand and went back to staring at other things and playing with Castiel's tie.

For a moment, Castiel felt a brief moment of panic at what he witnessed. He had heard of children with abilities showing signs of their powers but he didn't expect that from Jess considering her parentage and was fearful of it because of that. It was no secret that his charge was well known, loved and hated in the supernatural realm. There would be a line of those willing to exploit it because of the baby. It was unexpected since abilities usually didn't manifest until puberty but Jess had shown sensitivity to it. It had been evident with Benjamin and Jack.

Calming down. Castiel realized that they were happy memories from Jess' world as she saw it. She saw her mother happy and Jack happy. In a way she was stating her basic wants but seemed to be sensitive enough to give what would soothe the adults. He looked downward as she started yawn, "You are... remarkable, Jess."

Jess yawned some more and snuggled into Castiel's arms. The level of trust was astounding. She fell asleep in the arms of people she was comfortable with and responded accordingly when taken out in public. She knew that there were beings that could easily kill her in the bunker but... Shaking his head slightly, Castiel walked over to the rocker and sat a bit stiffly. Jess didn't move except to smack her lips slightly.

Castiel rocked the baby, watching her and thought about things. He did what he had to do yes. His family was important and, in all honesty, the Winchesters would have done the same thing. In the early years, Dean had sold his soul to bring Sam back. Sam went on demon blood because he wanted to stop the Apocalypse despite what it was doing to him. Angela... she had gone to hell and back, willing to give her own life to save people she didn't know. What he did was in a similar vein.

Good intentions. That was what they had when they made the choices they did. That was Castiel's. He knew that Donatello was corrupted from the tablet because he had no soul and refused to give them the spell to open the door. He did what he had to do and he could sense why Angela would try to take those choices unto herself. It was a heavy burden. Once the dead was done you couldn't take it back.

_It's easy to take the easy choice because it seems to be for the greater good. Maybe it is, Cas, but... sometimes it's not always right. It's why I think about things so much cause in the end... I have to live with it._

She had lived with it. Five hundred years and counting. Castiel didn't count her life as an angel. She wouldn't either since she didn't remember and wouldn't care to since it didn't matter now. The point though, she had experience with it. She had made the choices she did and had stood toe to toe against his brothers when she disagreed. What she would have said about what he had done?

_There is always one more thing to do._

Maybe there was an option but Castiel couldn't see it. All he saw was Lucifer free and a threat and the impending invasion of Michael from that other world. Two threats that could and would destroy what mattered now in his life. One he was holding in his arms. Looking down at the sleeping baby, Castiel sighed as he stood up and walked over to put her in her crib. Jess just slept on like there wasn't a care in the world. Sighing, Castiel knew that he was probably on a slippery slope; it was like the whole thing with Purgatory. Yet sleeping in front of him was his good intentions as well as getting back those that mattered to him and the Winchesters.

It may be the road to hell since he already started doing questionable things. Maybe he did understand why his charge would say this was a road paved with good intentions. It could lead to something dark. He just had to remember who it was for and did that as he committed the sleeping baby's look to memory before leaving as quietly as he entered. This was for her, for his family.


	16. 13.15 Most Holy Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is thinking about Father Lucca and the possibility that Angela can communicate from where she is at and maybe the possibility of his dream being a reality. Tag to A Most Holy Man.

Sam didn’t like the path they were taking to get the blood of a saint. True they needed the ingredient to open the doorway to get his mom, Jack and Angela back but he didn’t like that he and Dean were working with a man that he knew his wife would sneer at in that elegant way of hers and a mobster to steal the skull of St. Peter, which was stolen from a convent in Malta in the first place. This was all sides of wrong. It was one of the few times that he truly wished that Angela was here to make the hard decisions.

He always said that he was a selfish bastard much to her consternation. For the most part it was true. She did things so he didn’t have to especially when they were neck deep in the Apocalypse, Leviathans, the gates of Hell and more. There were times he was selfishly glad she made the hard choices like she did when she took herself and their daughter to cabin as a safety measure from the Brits. It made him appreciate her all the more and made him try harder to ‘make things up to her’ and not take her for granted.

Sam knew that she wouldn’t have done what they did. Or if she did, she would have been better at getting better terms for them. She would have made sure that they wouldn’t have been put in that position. She would have probably made it so that no one ended up dying. She would have terrorized the fat guy for lying to them and probably vamped out to make a point. Things would have been different.

_The world will never be perfect. If good men do good things, it can be better. Every day can get better._

Sam wanted to chuckle, laugh, or… something. That was so like what she would have said and what she believed. She always tried to believe things could be better. Father Lucca… maybe there was such a thing as miracles or something like that. It made him thoughtful about things and he found himself twisting the silver wedding band around his finger.

_All about choice Sam. Making the best one you can with the information you have at the time and accepting that you can live with it._

How many times had she said that when she tried justifying her decision? Too many to count and… Sam sighed. It was the same and yet it was different. He was thoughtful because as much as he wanted to give his daughter her mother back, he didn’t want it to be the whatever it takes method. Every time he and Dean executed that, it got people hurt or killed. Kaia came to mind. They forced her to help Jack find the door and then open it and now to where they were at. Castiel did the same and now Donatello was a human vegetable. The man might as well be dead. He wasn’t even going to try to figure out about Gabriel since he went missing.

A long time ago Dean made a point to say out loud that the bastards on the dark side of things knew about them and how much they would do for each other. Dean said the words and they each made a sort of agreement and yet… they still fell into the same trap. Every damn time. It was a too good to be true opportunity and even with precautions like what he did with Rowena, it blew up in their faces. He and Dean weren’t the poster boys for good decisions really.

“Excuse me, Sam?”

Sam looked up and saw Father Lucca looking at him. Dean was nowhere around at the moment. “Yes?”

“I am sure she is worth it.”

“Excuse me?”

Father Lucca pointed at Sam’s hand where he was playing with his wedding ring. “I noticed and I figured there was a reason behind what you were doing.”

Sam looked down at his hand. He looked at the silver band that she had put on his finger when they had an official wedding ceremony. She had it designed a specific way, warding and such. He had never taken it off except to clean it. They didn’t have much and it was her way, along with other things of showing her commitment to him. He replied, “She is everything to me. I want to try to bring her back.”

“For your daughter no doubt.”

It had Sam look up sharply. He never mentioned Jess, especially in front Dean. He was careful about it. “I…”

“You didn’t say anything,” Father Lucca said with a raised, reassuring hand. “I didn’t suspect anything but… something told me that you needed reassurance and I got the sense of a little girl. She had your eyes.”

Sam looked at the priest. He wasn’t above suspecting moments of visions. His wife still got them on occasion and there were real deal psychics. He never bragged about his daughter to other hunters and no one really knew there was a baby in the house unless they knew Angela had been pregnant. It was disconcerting and he became defensive in his posture to protect her. “But… how…”

“I don’t know.” Father Lucca shook his shoulders as he looked at Sam. “I just had this picture come in my head and...” He described the girl.

Sam listened and realized that the priest was describing his wife when she was four years old. The only detail that changed were the eyes. Jess had his eyes but the faintest hint of the golden color that was her mother’s. Sometimes they flickered in the light and almost looked like the baby was vamping out.

“She just smiled like everything was fine,” Father Lucca was saying. “It’s why I don’t mind helping. A child needs both parents.” He gave a smile.

Sam studied the priest as he turned to head to his flight. He leaned against a support and watched him leave, thinking about what happened. He knew that sometimes his wife sent images and such to people. And he wasn’t about to forget what Jess did when she projected her memories of her family to him and then one with her in the Apocalypse world. That still had him baffled as well as Sherlock, who was researching and occasionally going out to look for Gabriel.

He thought about the priest and the generosity of Father Lucca. He could make an argument that God or Chuck may have given inspiration or something. That was a stretch and he knew how powerful his wife was with some of her abilities and some things she just did and she had no idea how she did it. He wanted to believe that his wife managed to cross through the door, if not physically but mentally. He did hear her in his head.

Back home at the bunker, Sam went to check on Jess and picked her up and carried her to where Dean was, holding the vial of blood. In a way, they could laugh since they thought it had to be the blood of a saint since they were holy. It never occurred to them it would be a priest that had been bestowed the highest honor from the Pope. He knew Angela would have laughed at that and said that God provides with that teasing glint in her eye. Sam didn’t laugh though. He wasn’t sure if it was something to laugh about since he and Dean come close to buying it and not on hunt for monsters but from people.

“How’s the rugrat?”

Sam made a slight face as he adjusted his grip on Jess and sat down with her, setting her dinner on the table. Jess made a slight coo as he made to give her the evening feed knowing Dean could see how she was and he checked on her as much as he did.

It was quiet for a moment until Sam asked, “Do you think we could ever change things? I mean really change things? Stop all the monsters, all the bad?”

“Yeah I do.”

Sam held Jess as she finished feeding and thought about it. It was what he wanted most in the world, to make a place that was safe for Jess to grow up in. It was what every parent wanted for their kids and he knew Angela wanted. He knew it was being overly simplistic since there were monsters that just wanted to live and they did so without hurting people but… that was a very nice dream. And Father Lucca made it possible for him to believe in that light at the end of the tunnel. A most holy man indeed.


	17. 13.16 Light Scooby Snacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam, Dean and Castiel were in Scooby Doo and Sam is telling the story to Anya, Kesset's daughter. Kesset watches, grateful for this little 'snacks' of normalcy. Tag to Scoobynatural.

“So you were in a cartoon?”

Sam wanted to laugh at the expression on Kesset’s face. He resisted but his lip twitched and nodded, “Yeah. And the ghost was real.”

Kesset looked at Sam in confusion as he adjusted the baby carrier on his chest, “Why wouldn’t it be?”

Sam studied the Avian. In the last few years Kesset developed a sense of humor that could catch you unawares. He was still confused by some human nuances. Others he knew about and played you to the point where it got you stumped. He had pulled it on Dean a couple of times, maybe more, and it was still funny.

Seeing that Kesset was being serious, he explained, “This particular cartoon, there is no such thing as ghosts. It’s always a person in a mask and usually a crooked real estate agent.”

“They are monsters.”

Sam choked back a laugh. It was enough to get the attention of his daughter. She looked at him and seeing him she reached out towards him and squealed. Smiling he reached in and picked her up out of the harness. He agreed with the Avian, “You don’t know the half of it.”

“I know that you took care of that unscrupulous bastard.”

Sam made a slight face at the Avian. The swearing was milder than what Dean occasionally let out and Jess was too busy clinging to him and cuddling into him. And it was rare that Kesset swore. If he did, it was in his native language and no one save Angela knew what he was saying in the first place. He adjusted his grip on Jess and looked at Kesset, “Still, I’m glad you’re here, Kess.”

Kesset turned to look at Sam. “I am the princess’ guardian. By extension yours and the little princess as well as Dean. But you are also my friends and family.” He turned to see his own daughter Ayana coming with a fruit in her hand. He recognized it and held out his hand and spoke in his native tongue.

Sam watched as Ayana handed over the fruit from the tree from Syria. She was saying something to her father in the same language looking solemn but also innocent. He wondered what her life was like since she was half human but she heavily showed her Avian traits. He was taken aback when she looked at him and beamed, “Baba says that you are going to find Eima Angie and Jack with the fruit Castiel got.”

Sam looked down at the little girl and nodded, “We’re gonna try.”

“I know you’re going to, Uncle Sammy.”

Sam took the unexpected hug from the little girl with a look of surprise. He looked at Kesset who was showing no expression what so ever. It was awkward holding Jess but somehow he managed to return the hug to Ayana. “It’s nice of you to think so, Ayana.”

“I knows it. N’ Jess knows it.”

At the sound of her name, Jess made a sound and wriggled. Ayana giggled, “And Eima will be able to rescue Uncle Dean from a cartoon ghost.”

Sam couldn’t help but chuckle at that. He wondered what it would have been like if Angela had been with him and Dean in their cartoon adventure. Knowing her, she would have been trying hard not to laugh at everything. She probably would have enjoyed it as well. It was rare for her to be relaxed enough to have a little fun like run around in a cartoon though she probably would have done a full rundown. She would have considered that it was Gabriel’s doing since he was the Trickster.

It had been hard doing the job, looking after Jess and keeping the brave face with her gone. Sam tried not to mope but he felt her absence in a physical way. He was well aware it would be worse if she was dead. He felt everything else concerning her and it was clear Jess did. The whole thing with the Scooby gang was sort of a relief to everything that was happening. And it had been fun to do silly things even though they were on the job.

He couldn’t stand Dean and his obsession with Daphne. It had him rolling his eyes. Having Castiel in the picture was interesting too. All in all, it was a brief respite from all of the crap that was piling up. Knowing his wife, she would have said something about enjoying the moment and something about needing to take a step back from the situation. He looked down at Ayana and stroked her head and joked, “Angie would laugh at the whole thing. She would think it funny.”

“I know,” Ayana beamed. She would tease everybody.”

“She would.” Sam looked up and saw Kesset giving a gentle nod. He gave one back as a silent thank you for everything.

“What was it like?”

Sam looked down and saw Ayana tugging on his shirt tail. She was looking at him with an imploring look of wanting to know about his adventures. He glanced up at Kesset who shrugged in an agreeable fashion and then back at her, “How about I tell you a story about it?”

“Really?”

“Why not?”

Ayana bounced on her feet. Her little wings came out and flapped excitedly. She was still too small to do anything dangerous or serious with them. Sam wasn’t concerned but smiling. It was a joy to see children so happy and when he was the cause, he got pleasure from it. He knew that he had become a little mellow over the last few years, meaning certain things that appeared strange didn’t bother him. He didn’t mind nuzzling his wife in public and they sometimes spoke in noises from the throat. Some of the things they did like her soothing the tenderness from one of her love bites was more to gross Dean out and have fun with it.

Sam looked at the little girl and then at Jess. She seemed to pick up on the word story and he knew she liked to hear them. He claimed it was the sound of his voice but Angela insisted that the baby heard them and he indulged her in that. Looking at Ayana he smiled, “Come on.” He held out his hand.

Kesset watched as his daughter took Sam’s hand and followed him to the part of the library that had been adapted for work and a place for Jess to play. He was glad that Sam and Dean were able to help the boy ghost like they did and fix things with the ‘bad man’ that made the boy do bad things.

He had discovered Sam and Dean missing when he came down with Jess. He had discovered the TV and saw them on it as cartoons along with Castiel. His senses immediately flared to life and he didn’t enter the room. He had to protect the baby and his own daughter. It was hard not to be able to do anything but he had a charge in his care and he couldn’t put her in danger and he trusted the Winchesters and Castiel to be smart and get out.

He ended up watching the whole thing and it amused him greatly. Some of the things the cartoon characters said didn’t make sense but it was interesting. He watched it with Jess and Ayana. His daughter eyed the screen with a solemn expression and he looked at the baby as she watched her father and uncle on the TV.

It was a relief when they came back and were able to put things right. He took off the harness and put it on the table before following in the direction Sam went with the children. He found Ayana sitting on the floor and Sam was telling the story of his and Dean’s adventure with Jess on his lap and listening with rapture.

This was a much needed respite after everything that had happened. The loss of Gabriel compounded the loss of Angela and Jack and of course Mary Winchester. For years it was the same thing for the Winchesters of one thing on top of another. What kept them going were the pockets of respite and… the strength of the one person that stuck by them through the good, the bad and the ugly and still loved them despite that.

Watching Sam, Kesset took in the scene. He prayed to whoever was listening that this would stay with the Winchesters, be a source of strength. The few fun moments were far and wide between, like a snack of normalcy. But they were precious and in his opinion, worth it.


	18. 13.17 Thing of the Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is left behind whiel Dean and Ketch go find Mary, Jack and Angela and he is feeling down, but he knows he had work to do. Tag to The Thing.

Sam’s throat convulsed as he stared at the rift he had created. He was angry and disappointed at the turn of events. He had worked so hard to get to this point. They got the ingredients and the means to open the door so they could go and find Mom, Jack and Angela. And Dean effectively dashed that to the ground when he said that he wasn’t going.

What Dean said made sense. If something did go wrong, they would need someone to reopen the rift and it had to be done by someone who had been there before. He was the only other person who had been to that place. It still stung though that he was being left behind and even worse was the fact that his brother was taking Ketch with them. It really dug up old wounds of distrust and his brother’s relationship with Benny the vampire. As if Dean’s choices were any better.

After sending a god back to the alternate universe that it came from and saving Dean, they had the Seal of Solomon, the last thing they needed to open the rift. Then Ketch came in bringing in Gabriel, all grown up and looking terrified at them. He looked abused and his lips had been sewn shut. He didn’t know if it was the same Gabriel or not but one thing was certain, he would do what he could to help him. He just didn’t feel better about the whole thing.

At least Dean had the decency to admit that he knew it was pissing him off. It still stung though that they were being separated. He wanted to be there. He wanted to find her. It was a promise he made to their daughter; that he would find her mother and bring her home. Now he wasn’t even going to do that and he didn’t admit it to his brother. He felt disappointed, more with himself than anything. He wasn’t even sure he was going to be able to look at his daughter because of this.

“Don’t worry, Uncle Sammy. Baba will find them.”

Sam looked to see a little girl staring at him with solemn brown eyes that glittered like jewels. She was Ayana, Kesset’s daughter and Angela’s goddaughter. She had been born during a rough time that involved him, Angela and Dean trying to protect Kate from being hunted down by a nut of a hunter who made a living killing Avians. Angela had been there every step of the way for Kate during the labor and he and Dean put up a fight. She had been born healthy and Kesset had been grateful and named his daughter one of the names Angela had been named.

Sam looked at the rift and remembered the last thing before Dean went through the rift. He was trying to keep his temper from getting the better of him when a voice entered unexpectedly.

“I will go as well.”

Sam was in a mind to suggest it since he didn’t trust Ketch and Kesset had more than enough capability of handling the former cleaner for the British Men of Letters. But he wasn’t going to since Ayana had been there to be company for Jess, a thing started since Gabriel tasked Kesset to be babysitter and bailed him and Dean out from those witches.

Kesset stepped forward and volunteered to go with Dean and Ketch. It surprised everyone but Dean managed to protest, “It’s okay, Kess.”

“Why not? I mean who wouldn’t want an emotionally unstable bird man accompanying them?”

Ketch had a knack for making even the most mild mannered person want to take a swing at him. Angela threatened to kill him and Dean did kill him. Kesset though was calm and looked at Ketch like he was of no concern. It had Sam impressed as the Avian looked at him and Dean as he stepped forward, “I think it would be better. We don’t know what is over there and how far to search. At least I can cover distance.”

“Yeah, but what about Ayana?”

Sam had to ask the question. He would be willing to look after her and of course there was her mother, but still… Kesset was calm and said, “Kate will understand…”

“I wanna stay with Uncle Sammy.”

Sam and Dean both tried hard to keep the fact that there were children that meant a lot to them around the bunker. It was overdrive with Jess and they extended it to Ayana and of course Gabriel when he was a kid. It was hard to pretend they didn’t exist when they came out and announced themselves like Ayana did.

“Well, I stand corrected,” Ketch said. “We’ve got two emotion…”

“Shut up,” Dean cut the man off.

In the end, Kesset went with Dean and Ketch through the rift leaving Sam with Ayana and Gabriel in the room. Jess was in her crib and Sherlock was watching her in the library but within shouting distance. Sam still felt miffed and hurt and his mind took a dangerous turn that even after all this time, his brother still didn’t trust him. What else could he do now?

“It’s okay Uncle Sammy.”

Sam heard Ayana repeat her words and couldn’t help but look down and smile at her. He knew he could trust his brother and Kesset. He was just hurt and anxious. After all when has anything gone right when they tried to save someone they cared about? Especially with him and Angela. It was like the universe was conspiring against them at times. Dangerous thoughts but they liked to sneak in there and…

The little hand that slipped into his had Sam pause in his thoughts. He looked to see Ayana looking at him with a somber expression. It was way too serious for a little girl who should be smiling. Making the effort, he gave one of his small smiles that could be considered a shy one and watched her face relax a little and beam, “The angel needs help.”

Sam looked at Gabriel as Ayana tugged on him to follow. He looked back at the rift and then whistled, “Kieko. Gideon. Shadow.”

The three dogs trotted forward. Shadow was looking down since Dean didn’t say he could go with him on this hunt. They trotted forward and with a look from Sam, they took up guard positions to watch the rift. They became alert and serious. They knew that they had a job to do and they would do it down to their dying breath, as they were bred to do.

Relieved that there was some measure of control over this, Sam turned his attention to Gabriel. He didn’t know if the angel remembered him or not. He didn’t even want to know what happened to him. He rather missed the snarky kid that actually listened to him despite the fact that he could snap his fingers and cause mischief. What struck him the most was what Angela would say about it when she got home and saw the archangel, and first thought was that she would be pissed.

Sam wasn’t sure of what to do but he followed Ayana’s lead as she tugged him towards the angel. He watched quietly as she looked at Gabriel and spoke cheerfully, “Hi. Uncle Sammy gonna help you okay?”

Sam didn’t expect the archangel to say anything but it was a start. Sitting back down with slow and careful movements, he resumed the task he had been doing of removing the stitches that had sewn the archangel’s lips shut after shooing the little girl out to go play with Jess. It was a start but it still left a long road of uncertainty. At least one good thing was getting his wife back.


	19. 13.18 Bring the Light Back Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean thinks that all is lost when Gabriel walked out on them but hope returns when Amitiel arrives on the scene. Tag to Bring Em Back Alive.

“Every damn time!”

“Not is all lost, Dean.”

It would have been funny to see the surprised looks of the three men in the room and a picture was taken. To hear the voice of a friend or sorts that you hadn’t heard of in a long time was a bit if a shock. To someone who shared an intimate connection, it was even more shock and a bit of hurt even if you took into account the circumstances that made the situation what it was.

Amitiel, the Archangel of Truth, stood in the door of the hall looking at the brothers Winchester and her grace pair bond as they stared at her. The last time anyone really saw her was when the angels lost their wings. She appeared to Angela when Lucifer possessed Castiel and gave her the ability to help her pair bond by temporarily possessing her. Afterwards, she gave some advice and then went underground, but it was difficult to refrain from helping people.

“Amitiel.”

Amitiel looked at Castiel and took in his moment of surprise. It was a surprise to her too. The last she knew, Castiel had been killed. She felt him die and she mourned for him. She felt bad that she hadn’t been there for his charge, whose pain was most certainly felt. Certainly not as big as previous times but it was definitely felt. Now seeing her pair bond in flesh and blood so to speak… it was not so much as shock as it was surprise.

Castiel, normally reserved in all things, made the first move and walked right up to her. His eyes glared as he had done when he was really exerting his power as soon as he reached and touched her face. Amitiel responded in kind, her eyes flaring as their bond reasserted itself. Amitiel couldn’t help but smile as she touched Castiel’s face.

“It’s been a long time,” Castiel said.

“Indeed.” Amitiel looked at Castiel. It was her little angel but there was something off. Like his recent death experience did something to him. It was puzzling but she was certain it was him. She let her finger brush his face, gently tracing the jawline.

“Can you not do that right now?”

Amitiel looked up to see Dean looking annoyed at everything. She stepped back and lowered her hand. Her expression was bland as she looked at the Winchesters. It was Sam who tried to be polite about the whole thing, “Uh, Amitiel, what do you mean that not all is lost?”

Amitiel blinked and focused on Sam. “Just what I said. Not all is lost.”

“What does that mean?” Dean asked the question while trying not to be overly annoyed.

“I know the spell you need to open the rift requires certain ingredients,” Amitiel replied in a calm tone.

“Wait,” Sam interrupted, “You know about that?”

“Yes,” Amitiel replied with a straight look. At the look she was getting from all three, she continued, “It doesn’t take much to sense out when a brother is recharged, especially one like Gabriel. I sensed it and let myself in. You really need to work on your warding, Sam. It’s good but you can do better.”

“So you were here the entire time? Wouldn’t Gabriel have sensed you?”

Amitiel shrugged her shoulders, “Gabe and I may be close in most respects but we developed our means of sneaking up on each other when we want to play. I had to see for myself.”

“And where does this fit in with you saying it’s all good and you knowing about the rifts?” Dean glared at Amitiel. He wasn’t in the mood for any playing around and he wasn’t about to get his hopes up for nothing again.

“The spell calls for grace from an archangel.” Amitiel looked at the Winchesters. “And I’m an archangel.”

“What?”

“You’re an archangel?”

Both Winchesters looked at Amitiel in surprise. Castiel was the only one that wasn’t looking surprised by the whole thing. He confirmed in a calm tone, “It is true. Amitiel is the Archangel of Truth.”

“Archangel of Truth?” Dean raised his brow at that.

“Yes,” Amitiel replied, amused at the expression from the Winchesters. “I am an archangel.”

It certainly brought the hope that they needed but Sam had to ask, “Why?”

Amitiel looked at Sam. A small grin graced her lips, “Not all us angels are dicks, Sam. And I never really thanked you or the Malachi for saving me and the Archangel of Mercy.”

Both Winchesters looked at each other. They just had a major disappointment with Gabriel and here comes in another archangel, willing to help. It had Dean suspicious and he narrowed his eyes at the angel, “Alright so you just decide to pay a debt?”

“It was already paid when she saved Sam’s life from Lucifer.”

Sam blinked at that. He remembered that night when it was realized that Castiel had agreed to letting Lucifer in. Angela had shown up in a blaze of glory and he assumed that she had overdid it because she was pregnant. “That was you?”

“As promised,” Amitiel replied, “I offered help for that one time and she agreed to let me in. Once it was done, I was gone. As agreed to. One doesn’t argue with the one who has the ability to make the veil tremor when angry or sad.” She gave a slight grin at that.

Sam could agree with that. “And you’re willing… to give up your grace?”

Amitiel held out a vial that was glowing. “Already done,” she replied. She held it out towards them.

Sam looked at Dean before stepping forward. He tentatively held out his hand and watched as she placed the vial into his palm. He looked at her.

“Enough to open the gate a couple of times,” Amitiel said. She looked at Sam and then Dean.

Sam curled his fingers over the vial and looked at it. He stepped back and handed it to Dean. Dean took it and looked at it. The grace was bright and shiny as it floated in the vial. This sounded almost too good to be true. One archangel walks out on them and another one comes in and one that claims Angela let possess her and while pregnant. Yet, he couldn’t help but hope.

Sam was already there with the hope. He wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth and he had a feeling about Amitiel. He had watched as she and Castiel interacted. They knew each other and the manner they did it… He was very familiar with that kind of intimacy. His throat convulsed and said, “Okay. Thanks.”

“Oh you’re not just getting my grace,” Amitiel replied with a slight grin. “You’re getting my help too.” At the look the brothers were giving her and the look Castiel was giving, she explained, “I know Gabe walked out and I can do what I can to talk to him. We have a way of finding each other. But when you go back, I’ll go with.”

“You want to help us?” Dean looked at the archangel.

“Yes.” Amitiel gave Dean a pointed look that said she was serious. “I want to go and bring back a friend. Maybe save a few people in the process. It’s what we do right?”

Dean looked at Amitiel. His gaze shifted to Castiel and then Sam. He could tell Sam was ready to go and he didn’t blame him. Hell, he felt bad that Kesset stayed behind with Ketch and Charlie to fight and look for their Mom, Jack and Angela. He was not looking forward to having that conversation with Kate. He then looked at Amitiel and noted the look in her eyes. She was serious about helping them and maybe they could take a chance. They could bring them all back.


	20. 13.19 Funeralia Lights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam knows that no matter what, he is the one to kill Rowena. But what if he could change that? Tag to Funeralia.

Fate was a funny thing. It was synonymous with destiny in that a path a person was set on was beyond a person’s control. It was predetermined and there was no escaping it despite what people said that it could be changed. It was kind of hard though when it was clear that no matter what you did, you were stuck. Sam Winchester knew that all too well.

He had given his word when he gave the page to Rowena. If she did anything that was the definition of hurting people, he would end it. He aimed to keep it despite the look he got from his brother, Dean. Sam knew his brother had a right to do that since it seemed that whenever he gave a bit of leash to those he sympathized with, they strangled him with it. But he got it and understood. He understood what it was like to be scared of something after a life changing experience. To be seemingly trapped in fate, that was something else entirely.

Rowena had decided on the brilliant idea of getting Death’s attention by killing people prematurely and then going after the reapers that came to reap them. The purpose was to get Crowley back. Sam knew Death aka Billie very well and she was not the kind to bend on the rules when it came to the natural order. He also knew that Crowley made a choice. He made the choice to sacrifice himself to seal Lucifer in that other Apocalypse world.

He understood how it sucked on Rowena’s end. He and Dean had been killed multiple times and brought back. His wife had been through the same and she knew she was a reincarnated soul. Yeah, it sounded like favoritism and it sucked. So, even though Rowena threatened and came close to killing him, he really didn’t have a grudge about it. Then again it was hard to when you just learned that you were fated to kill Rowena.

The reaper that Billie sent to keep an eye on them spilled the beans on that account. It was rather interesting to hear that people had multiple endings to their life story based upon the choices made. It felt like being caged in to know that in every single one, he was destined to kill Rowena. Knowing what fate had in store, Sam could understand why his wife didn’t fear it but respected it and was adamant when it came to working with the natural order.

He remembered when she told him and Dean that there were some things they couldn’t change. She had said it when they tried to defy what Chuck had written and it ended up with him and Lilith in the sack. They ended up doing what Chuck had written except for the ending. It did end up different there and Angela had said that there are some things that could be changed and others all roads led to the same thing. Was this one of those moments? That no matter what, he was going to kill Rowena?

Being raised as a hunter, things used to be black and white. Us against them. Then Angela came into their lives and showed them that the world was a lot more complex than they thought. The shades of grey and the fact that by their definition they should have killed her but they didn’t. They didn’t and he fell in love with her, became her mate and now they had Jess. Was it fate then? It was complicated to think about but the point was that he and Dean had come a long way.

Rowena wasn’t a saint but she had helped them out when the fate of the world was at stake. She came through even though it was like dealing with Bella with her duplicitous nature. The Book of the Damned, he took precautions but that blew up in his face. Then giving her the page of the dark grimoire… it looked like it might blow up in his face again.

_Knowing the end result is just that: the end. It’s the choices that get us there is… like an adventure. In the end, the choices we make reveal who we are._

One of many discussions that circled around why Angela had always appeared indecisive at times. Sam felt like a fool for not seeing it even when they met Fate head on. She knew the end result was what it was and it would haunt them but it was made easier knowing that they had done the best they could with what they had at the time. Sitting there and looking at Rowena, so sad, he wondered if his wife would have said the same thing.

Maybe after she kicked the witch around for kidnapping him and almost killing him.

“You know, I get the feeling that… the Malachi would have said something about fate,” Rowena offered as she stared at nothing in particular.

“She would,” Sam offered gently. “Something along the lines that maybe the end is what it is but what happens…”

It sounded weak but Rowena listened but she was resigned to the fact that Sam Winchester would be the one to kill her. Sam didn’t want to believe that fate was set. He always thought that it could be changed. It did that time with Lilith and he and Dean had always seemed to defy it either directly or indirectly. So there had to be a chance right? “Maybe there is a way to change fate,” Sam offered.

“Oh Samuel, you know that you can’t change fate.”

Sam shrugged, “It is possible. Angie always talked about choices. Maybe that’s the key.”

It was probably farfetched but Sam wasn’t the type to take things lying down. He didn’t want to believe that just because the reapers said so that it would come true. Maybe not today or tomorrow… It was probably playing with fire again and that method always blew up in their faces but…

_Forgiveness is a beautiful thing, Sam. You just have to learn to forgive yourself first._

She had said that when he was seeking redemption for what he had done to start the apocalypse. And through all that, she stuck by him even when it was clear that sooner or later it would catch up and something would happen that he couldn’t fix. And she was okay with that just as he was. Maybe Rowena needed something like that. Life hadn’t been fair to her but if she tried to make things right, it would help. It was worth a shot.


	21. 13.20 Light's Unfinished Business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angela has a conversation with Jack after what Apocalypse world Kevin did to the humans. Tag to Unfinished Business.

They say experience is the best teacher and Angela was inclined to believe that it was so. Experience taught you what to do and what not to do in a particular situation. They taught you the good, the bad and the ugly. She could say that she had seen and been through most everything. One would think that people would listen to her expertise. It was hard to when all you had known was victory.

Angela hated the place they were trapped in. Hated it in the sense that it was a place that could have been if certain people didn’t exist. Sure there were a few people that she had enjoyed seeing again even if they weren’t from her world. People she loved that died and now she was seeing a version of them right there. It was a harsh thrust into what could have been if she didn’t exist mucking up other people’s lives. And it was a what could have been if her boys hadn’t been born. So she hated the place but she wasn’t going to turn her back on people.

Jack said that he wanted to help them. She didn’t blame him and she agreed. She was pissed off at the angels in this world and was ready to take them on then and there. She didn’t though since she knew the consequences of charging in blindly and without any regard for the consequences. She knew that as well as her best friend Mary. They understood and together they tried to make Jake understand that.

They received news that Michael and his angels were pulling out of his stronghold. It was logical to check it out and see if something was left behind. Basic rules in warfare, but she expressed they do it cautiously. She knew her world Michael and she doubted that there was much of a difference between the two. It was more from the idea that parallel universes had similar beings and all that sci-fi tech babble that would bore the average person. In any case, they went to check it out despite her reservations.

For years, she had told the Winchesters that she was hardly in a position to tell them what to do. They were their own person and they made their own choices. She aimed to treat Jack the same way. The only difference was that she and Mary needed to really counsel him and let him think on their suggestions. She couldn’t say know when Jack said that he would protect them, the humans.

It had been a turnaround after this world’s Bobby threatened to kill Jack and wanted him gone because he was a Nephilim. It was like in her world in the south, even if you didn’t look black, if you looked at where you came from, just one drop might as well make you all black. Of course she wasn’t going to let anyone hurt Jack and she made it known, actually scaring and stunning a few of the people. Then Jack proved his worth when he saved them from the angels’ attack. It only went to show that loyalty could be like the safety her old friend Mac told her in a fit of bitterness. And in addition, she was able to gain some ground.

It had been difficult to swallow that there were different endings of death for a person based on the choices one made. She had seen hers when Billie decided to have a talk with her. Death had offered her a peek at one but she declined. While most people would like to know the future to avoid a certain path, she knew better than most that fate was something of a fickle lady and yet one you didn’t mess with. It made her not sure of how to react when she learned that she had been killed by the angels while defending humans.

Sam had always told her that it was a part of her, and that she gave of herself to others. She always thought of others before her own wellbeing and sometimes to her own detriment. Sam and their daughter came first followed by Dean, and then the others that were important to her. Jack found his way in and she now counted him like he was her own child. In the end, she accepted that theory that even though it was a different universe, there were constants and it looked like she was one of them.

It had been a surprise and a relief to see Kevin again. She knew he wasn’t the Kevin of her world but still… It pained her to see what Michael had done and made him do. Fear was a powerful motivator and when you had someone with power… She wanted to curse Michael but she kept that calm demeanor, but in the end it wasn’t enough.

The fear along with the promises Michael made, it drove Kevin to do the unthinkable. Being schooled in Enochian, Angela was well aware of what the symbol was on his chest. She held out her hand and warned him, “Kevin, don’t.”

It had broken her heart when Kevin talked about seeing his mom again. She knew that he had lost her in this world. She remembered how he was in her world, the way he didn’t even know if his mother was safe and how she said she would try to find her… Another reason to hate this place. It preyed upon her memories and her feelings.

What ended up happening was that Kevin gave in and pressed his hand to the sigil. Angela knew it was Enochian and the way Kevin had been position, she guessed it was not an angel banishment thing but a more permanent death thing. It was like all the other times, instinct flared as she raised her hand, palm outward and narrowed her look at Kevin. Her tattoos glared their bright light as it seemed to pulse from her hand and the force was felt like a breeze as the loose locks of her hair billowed. She had put herself between Kevin’s ‘suicide bomb’ and Jack and Mary, and it turned out one other. She just stood there and took the brunt of it.

It was one of those things that she never tried to figure out, always treating it like a fluke. Sam and Dean speculated that it was her latent ‘angel mojo’. Sam went deeper to venture it was because she was a healer. She didn’t care to explore theories but she did venture to practice her abilities, which was why she proved formidable while the three of them were there and served to protect Jack and Mary. Of course the teeth and eye flares helped. But they didn’t help in this case.

Aside from Jack and Mary, only one other person survived. It was as Kevin said. It was meant to break not her, but Jack. That was what she feared, but never showed. Jack was young and didn’t know and understand all the nuances that being human was. She remembered how he felt when he accidentally killed an innocent and what happened there. She wasn’t sure how he was going to handle this one.

Mary had managed to talk to him, but it didn’t seem to be enough. She watched before making the decision to approach him. She kneeled beside where he was sitting and said, “It’s been a rough day.”

“It was horrible,” Jack replied, not looking at her. “I said that I would protect them. And I couldn’t.”

Angela blinked as she looked away for a moment before replying, “And it’s not your fault.”

“But it is.”

“Then blame me for what I did. I stood between you and Kevin and only one survived.” Angela adjusted her feet as she continued kneel as she looked at Jack. “Usually I am able to get more than that.”

“At least you saved someone.”

“And sometimes… it’s not enough.” Angela looked downward and sighed.

Jack looked at her with a puzzled look. “I don’t understand.”

Angela looked at Jack and gave a gentle smile. She reached over and gave him a pat on his shoulder. “It’s like what Mary told you. Sometimes you can plan for almost every contingency but sometimes it just isn’t enough.”

“But you have a plan for everything. Sam said you have a backup for the backup…”

Angela chuckled, “True but even then there are times when things don’t go well.” She made a slight gesture as she gave an example, “Look at how we approached the stronghold. We didn’t go barging in but we made a plan. We found surprises and I even thought I would have Kevin back but… he gave us a surprise.”

“He killed those people. Why, Mother?” Jack looked at her imploringly.

Angela felt the warmth at the title he gave her. She knew that he wasn’t trying to replace his real mother but he saw her as a mother by the way she took care of him. She replied, “Well… he lost his mother. Michael promised him that he would see her again and despite the fear he put Kevin through… Kevin held onto that hope.”

“My mom died but I don’t want to kill people.”

“Because you learned and are learning to cope.” Angela rubbed the back of Jack’s shoulder. “Humans, people, are complicated when emotions get involved. I can tell you I was not the best when someone near and dear was hurt… or died.”

“It still… hurts.”

“It still hurts that I wasn’t able to save people I loved. Seeing them alive in this world… it’s pretty painful.”

“Then how do you do it?”

“By remembering that I have people here to share and help. Sam. Dean. Jess. You.” She gave a gentle bump to Jack’s shoulder accompanied with a grin. “Also because I know I made the best choice I had with the information I had at the time. It’s always going to suck in hindsight because you can pour over what ifs but it can break you worse than the actual incident.”

Jack pondered over it with a frown. He shook his head slightly, “But… I was winning…”

“Sometimes the best and hardest lessons are learned from defeat.” Angela looked at Jack as he turned to look at her. “Up until now you’ve never really experienced defeat. The feeling when you had a plan and things went wrong and no matter what you do… someone dies. Now you have.”

“So what do I do?”

“Have your mourning time and get right back up and keep going. That’s what makes the difference. The ability to get back up after you’ve been knocked down… that’s strength and courage.” Angela smiled a little more as she leaned in. “It’s what I do so I can get back to Sam and my baby.” She looked off into the distance and focused on a fixed point. She smiled softly and turned back to Jack and said, “So, what happens now is up to you.”

Jack looked at Angela with a wide-eyed expression. “Can I do this?”

“I think you can,” Angela replied with a shrug. She adjusted her position so she was still on balance. “I know that you have a fierce desire to please. It’s a thing kids look for. Approval from a parent. Just know that you don’t need me to approve of you. You’ve had it since the day you came into my home. I am proud of you.”

“You are?”

“Of course. There is always room for improvement.”

Jack looked at Angela. Despite the continuous time spent in survival mode, she was always one to be positive with her dry sense of humor. She was also watchful and protective. “So… what are we going to do?”

“Well…” Angela looked forward and thought about her words before looking back at Jack. “We can cry about this a little more but… I don’t know about you but I intend on finding Michael and giving him a piece of my mind.”

“And you’re not afraid of him?”

“I’m pissed at him,” Angela replied honestly. “It is scary going up against angels but… I am not scared for me. I’m scared for those that matter and people I promised to protect and help. And I have fought angels before.”

“I know. Sam mentioned it a couple of times.”

“Then you know that I don’t have a problem with it.”

“But I don’t want to lose you.”

“I can’t promise you that nothing bad is going to happen,” Angela replied, “It’s war and I’ve seen a lot of it. I can promise that I am going to stay with you until we fix this and then find a way home.”

Jack looked at Angela and thought about it. He was upset about what happened and he knew she was too, but she was not letting it get her down. She was ready to get back up and keep fighting. Even with her family waiting for her, she fought with the danger looming ahead. He closed his mouth and nodded. He could do this. They could finish this and then go home.


	22. 13.21 Light Beats the Devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam feels anguish at having to even be near the devil again even if he did bring him back. However, there is a twist. Tag to Beat the Devil.

Sam was no stranger to death. He had been killed and nearly killed multiple times and brought back from the brink. And he certainly was no stranger to being bitten. He just never imagined that the two things he would be intimately familiar with would be the end of him. Well, he expected he’d die on the job… anything to bring his mother, Jack, and his beloved home. Just… not what happened in that tunnel.

They were able to get all the ingredients that they needed to open the rift. They were finally going to get their people home. And they used the devil to do it. Amitiel had offered to give more after he and Dean decided that they should give it to Gabriel to help recharge his batteries. Besides, there was no one, aside from Sherlock that he trusted more to keep his baby safe while they were away, and Kesset was on standby. That and… just in case.

They trapped and drained Lucifer for his grace and went in through the rift. They had a pretty formidable team with him, Dean, Castiel and Gabriel, even if the archangel wasn’t fully juiced. Sam wasn’t fooled though. Gabriel’s reason was because of her. Sam was not jealous nor had any reason to be; he got it. Plus, they had Keiko and Shadow with them. They were going to find them. He was sure of it. He just didn’t count on the fact that they would have obstacles besides that world’s angels.

The vamps were vicious, almost animalistic. If it hadn’t been for both Keiko and Shadow grabbing it, he would have never been able to kill it. That should have been a warning when they came to the tunnel, but they were running on a clock. They had little choice. So they went in, playing it safe. Sort off.

He should have had them move to where there was more room to defend themselves and not wandered off. They picked up a straggler and the dogs’ hackles were on full alert. They were one step away from becoming the earthbound beasts of hell. He just wanted to get there so badly… He was careless. And they came for them.

They were starving beasts. Driven mad by the lack of food and starvation caused by Michael’s campaign of destruction. He had seen the crazed look before, mostly in the werewolves that he had helped, but he knew it. He could almost smell the desperation they were emitting as their instincts took control, following that primal signal of fresh meat. He had to do what he had to do and protect the two people that were heading to Dayton, where his people were. So he fought.

The pain was burning, white hot when he felt the teeth pierce his skin. The skin ripped away and his blood was shooting out. His life force was ebbing out but the pain had him wide open and alert. Then it hit him like someone sucker punched him, no, when he felt the stab in his lower back the first time he died. He could feel his body lock up. He knew he called for his brother but another name was on his lips as his body locked up, unaware that his eyes flared and were the last thing that Dean saw when he was dragged into the depths of the tunnels.

They had touched his mate mark. That had to be it. The only time he would stiffen in pain like that was if someone not his mate or trusted family member touch, poked, shot, stabbed, whatever on the mark. And the end result ended up with one very pissed off alpha female and it triggered his own response anger and ready to pummel the individual. But he couldn’t move.

His life force, his blood was pouring out of the wound like a geyser. He was dying. He knew the signs but he felt it. That pulse. That… It was like his senses were on overload even when the world in front of him turned black. This was it. He made it that far only to die as vamp food. Kind of ironic since his wife was half vamp and learned to not be so ashamed of it over the years being by his side. He failed her and he failed his daughter.

“If you think you failed, you are not the man I thought you were.”

Sam knew he was dead but his eyes were open. Or were they? And that voice… He sat up and saw her, but he knew what he was looking at now. “You’re not her.”

“Don’t be foolish, Sam. You know I’m…”

“The part of her that belongs to me.” Sam recited what he knew by heart. He was just confused and not sure of what was going on. “I know. Sorry, Angie.” He got up and looked around. He was still in the tunnels but there was no one there. “I don’t… What’s going on?”

“You called for me. For us,” Angela replied, looking at him. “The alpha mate’s call to be precise. You know I am amazed how much we picked up without formal study. Almost like ins…”

“Instinct.” Sam took a couple of breaths. “Yeah. But… Am I dead?”

“Close to death,” Angela replied almost nonchalantly, “Closer than we both like.” She looked around the place. “You reacted to the fact that they tore at my mark,” she gestured at the place where his scar was. “How did you know?”

“I didn’t,” Sam replied. “I just… I reacted.”

“And in so doing, buying you time.”

“Time?”

Angela looked at him with raised brow and a shrug. “You aren’t dead. You haven’t left your body. Think like a mode of stasis. Like when you were shot and that bastard tried to kill you.”

“But… they ripped my throat out.” Sam frowned in puzzlement. There were a lot of things being mated to the most powerful dhampir he didn’t know and it was more complicated because she was designated a healer and she was once an angel. Not to mention he did have demon blood in him and according to everyone, he was her soul twin and was an angel too. “I could feel me dying.”

“Did you ever consider the consequences when even maddened vamps mess with a mated alpha?”

Sam contemplated that. He didn’t understand half of what was said. He was not an alpha vamp. He killed one, yes, but… He knew Angela was an alpha type. In sex terms, she was a switch. It sounded kinky and Dean would probably tease him forever if he knew that. He then looked up when he heard a shrill shriek. He then looked at Angela.

Angela grinned, “Never mess with either alpha’s mate.”

Before Sam could ask, he felt the air coming back into his lungs and he took a huge breath of air. That was a familiar feeling he knew too well. He sat up and found he was in the tunnels and Keiko was nuzzling him. He saw that her fur was matted with blood but she appeared unhurt. She had followed him like a good Wilder and he automatically rubbed her head to signal she was a good dog.

It was cold dread when he heard that voice and turned to see the one being that actually scared him and he dreaded being near. Anger helped in the bunker when he laid down the terms but it was bravado. He looked at Lucifer who was grinning at him. Keiko was by his side growling. She would do whatever it took to make sure her hunter was safe.

It stung when Lucifer told him that he did heal him but he was still alive. By what means, he didn’t know. Sam thought it was bullshit since Lucifer had tormented him for years about the fact that he knew when he and Angela mated. It took a lot to not lash out in anger so he looked away before shooting a look at the devil, unaware that his eyes had taken on a peculiar glow.

“Whoa there, Sammy. Now that’s something new.”

Sam was aware he literally snarled at the devil and gnashed his teeth, like a dog would in warning. He then looked at the mad vamps. He eyed then with a narrow look and noted that they shrank back. As quick as he got it, it faded and the vamps went back to trying to breach the barrier Lucifer had set up. It flared again when Lucifer said that one way or another he was going to see his son, Jack.

That was more protective, but even he sensed that he was not in full control and that he couldn’t rely on what Angela had been very good at. He was human. She was half vamp. That was the difference there. Vamps, even mad ones, responded when they knew an alpha type was in their midst. Evolution and instinct told them to obey. He didn’t have that but he sensed that something had broken when he had been killed or whatever. Like a damn breaking. He couldn’t risk it and he really hated the fact that he was going to have to work with the devil.

It tore at him that he was agreeing to this and felt like he was putting Jack at risk, possibly betrayal. He anguished and was angry and the two were a volatile mix. It actually helped keeping the frenzied vamps away. All Sam could think of though was what he was going to say when he met her face to face.

He always knew that she deserved better than him. He had been a colossal fuck up in all the years he knew and loved her. He let her suffer in silence for a year and then when he realized it, took longer. He made choices that he knew she wouldn’t have. Deals, working with Crowley… all that crap. The only thing he could be redeemed with was his daughter. Even then though she was cursed because of him. Now he was leading the devil to Jack.

He was on emotional overload when he made it to Dayton. He was relieved that his brother, Castiel, even Gabriel were okay, and then there was his mother and Jack. When his eyes lighted on Jack, the guilt crept up until a wave of calm hit him. It was like when he first caught full on her scent when she forgot to stand downwind of him once. It was powerful, soothing and…

She was standing there, between him and the others, looking at him. Her expression was one of disbelief and relief. She would have known something had happened. Feedback be damned. They both knew if the injury was resulting in death or near death and felt it deeply. Her guardian-charge bonds had been proof enough. He looked at her knowing she could probably smell his anguish and guilt. She had teased him and Dean about it.

No words were spoken as she walked forward, her gaze locked onto his. He noted she was wearing her blade and chakram. He had a knife and a few other odds and ends on her person, including a Sig Sauer. Completely badass and ready to fight, but she stared at him head on until they were within speaking distance.

It was nothing new to him. It was their way of making sure they were each other. He could catch a whiff of the wild roses that clung to her and noted how her nostrils twitched ever so slightly, taking in his scent. When she stepped forward and blatantly sniffed and almost touched his neck with her nose, he almost broke down. He didn’t deserve her affection. He closed his eyes and shifted on his feet since he knew Lucifer wasn’t too far behind.

“Hi, kid.”

Sam kept his eyes closed and breathed almost in defeat, his posture indicating sorrow and anguish at this. He whispered since he knew she would hear him, “I’m sorry.”

She looked at him and past him at the devil. Sam held his breath until she gave a gentle rub with the back of her fingers on the side where she claimed him. He swallowed as he heard in his mind, _You have nothing to be sorry for. If anything, I am the one that is sorry._

It had Sam perked up and his mouth opened slightly. He turned in the direction Angela was facing since she was standing shoulder to shoulder with him but looking at Lucifer. The way Lucifer was looking at her…

“Hello, my pretty.”


	23. 13.21 Dealing with the Devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The other side of things from Angela's view and why Sam was brought back. Tag to Beat the Devil.

The day was different than most. It was in the air. The scent was in the air and the overall feeling was different. Well, this whole universe was different but she was used to that. So used to it that she could sense the change when she woke up this morning.

The day started fine with her checking the camp among other things. The feeling just wouldn’t go away and said that she would go on patrol. Jack and Mary looked at her strangely when she said she was going on patrol and alone, but didn’t question it.

_Come with?_

The boy that was the only survivor besides Jack and Mary wanted to come with her and she agreed to it. Being deaf didn’t slow him down and he was anxious to learn what he could to fight Michael and his angels. She didn’t like it but she did believe it didn’t hurt to be able to defend yourself.

They were patrolling when it hit. As long as she had been there, the usual had been like a dull buzz. She could feel it and had been able to sense that her mate was okay if not fine. Now it was clear as day. That meant one thing: Sam was here. Sam was here and it was a sure bet that Dean was here. It made her heart soar and happy that she would be able to see two people she longed to see.

The air was thick with scents that had become familiar since being stuck there and there were new scents. And some were scents that she took to heart since she knew the consequences of making major strikes against an ecosystem. Not that most people would readily see how she could see it like that since she included the monsters. It was one of the things that she would clash with Dean over because he couldn’t see the large picture like she could.

It was a gift and a curse, seeing the larger picture. Now it made much more sense since she discovered she had been an angel and spent nearly all of earth’s millennia on it being human and reincarnated along with her soul twin. She still didn’t like it since she would end up grudgingly admitting that Billie was right in a few things. It wasn’t a pride thing that made it hurt. It was the fact she loved humanity, or rather life, that made it hurt. It was why she felt pity for the creatures that had been ignored in this world.

With Michael waging war on humanity, he forgot the fundamental principle of balance. By killing off the humans, he only added another obstacle and that was the starving monsters. True they fed on humans but in a normal ecosystem, it was balanced. With a food source gone, the monsters were starving and turning into ravaging beasts. It was survival and a violent means of evolution since she did encounter a few monsters that managed to stay rational. Not that she would tell the humans she was helping. They barely understood her and fear and respect kept them at arm’s length especially when it concerned Jack.

_You think we find more?_

Angela turned to look at the boy. He reminded her of Jack and few other children that had been her strays and she had been a part of their lives when tragedy struck. He had no one else and he was deaf. It was asking for more work and she didn’t want to think about what would happen when she had to leave and go home. It was the here and now at the moment and at the moment she was caught between answering the boy and listening and sniffing the wind. Until it hit.

Angela had learned the hard way the consequences of touching a mated person without permission or with malice. It was blinding, painful and enough to rouse her into righteous anger that would be accurate in the human Bible. Being mated to Sam had been trial and error until they could both control it and know what was a real threat and what wasn’t since it wasn’t fair to rip off Dean’s head when he bear hugged her.

The pain was sharp. One she hadn’t felt in a long time. It was because it was laced with Sam’s anguish and realization that it was a fatal wound. Not even when he had been shot and almost dead produced that reaction and she had an excuse then since she was pregnant at the time. This was familiar and it brought back memories, forcing her to scream out loud and she felt the ground tremor beneath her, but she didn’t care.

Being mated to Sam was easy with the usual things that accompanied it in terms of vamps and werewolves. That bond was easy. The hard one was the link between their souls. The reason for the enigmatic response of feedback. And that was because each carried a piece of the other. And possibly the reason why she wasn’t passed out completely but in a trance. At least her body was, and it helped that she knew how to release her spirit or astral project or whatever.

It was instinct and she barely heard her chant the spell before she found herself looking at her physical body on its knees and looking in the direction that was pulling her. She felt bad for the boy since it was clear that he was freaking out at the whole thing. It made her want to touch him but her hand went through him but he seemed to calm down just before instinct propelled her to act.

She had done the black smoke and appearing and reappearing once before. It freaked out that Toni bitch from the British Men of Letters and probably Sam and Dean, which was why Dean tried to command her not to do it again. She couldn’t help what instinct and reaction did when her emotions were charged. At least she learned a modicum of control and she had the benefit of what she relearned when she and Dean traveled north. She was just hesitant to leave the boy alone.

“He’ll be fine, Angie. I’ll watch.”

She had never really addressed the whole part of Sam that was hers fully and never really acknowledged ascribing pronouns or nouns to him. She accepted it though since it was Sam, the gentleness, the fierce protectiveness… the warrior she knew him to be. It was a comfort to see that what had always protected her before they met there. It was what allowed her to leave and follow the pull that was full of pain, confusion and apology.

Always and forever.

That was what Angela and Sam promised each other. It still held even with the arrival of their baby. Every choice that would affect their lives was made together if possible. For the most part, it worked in reducing the rash decisions. However, there were those moments that didn’t exactly work out like that.

Angela knew that Sam would try to find a way to find her and bring her back. He would do it for his mother and Jack, but he would be driven because of her. She knew he didn’t take separation well if he wasn’t prepared for it and she knew what happened when she was stuck in Purgatory. This time though, he pushed through it and he was hopeful. She also knew that he was prone to the Winchester thing of taking the blame for things beyond his control, but it stemmed from the fact that he felt he had to make up for everything because of how he treated her when he was on demon blood. This, it was for Jess, their baby he would be doing this.

For once, she was glad that she didn’t have to smell the stench of death, blood and vamps. Well she could but it wasn’t as strong. Her sense of ‘smell’ was more on the spiritual side of things and she followed it to where she saw the vamps and she saw the body. Even without her five senses, she could tell that it was Sam’s body. He was dying, barely being held there by the part of her that was his.

“Took you long enough.”

Seeing her double was a common theme. Angela knew she had baggage that rivaled the Winchesters put together. She had faced ‘herself’ more times than considered normal and there was a point to it. It was just weird seeing how Sam saw her in the manifestation of that part that was his. She blinked at the obvious salute to the grace and elegance of the elves of Rivendell and replied, “I’m here now aren’t I?”

“You know what to do.”

Angela didn’t really and she couldn’t ask since the other her disappeared into Sam. His eyes were wide open and the pupils relaxed. For all intents and purposes to people, he was dead. She saw the wound on his neck and saw why the pain had been so sharp. She reached out to gently finger the mark she had placed on him.

The vamps were snapping and snarling. She shifted to look at them with a narrowed gaze. She felt her power rise as she marched up to them and stopped just short of the entrance of the tunnel. The vamps cowered at her presence. Even though mad, thousands of years of biology and evolution were at play. Instincts were kicking in and they were recognizing the presence of an alpha. Worse thing was that they harmed an alpha’s mate and they could sense the righteous anger she wanted to unleash on them.

“Wow, that’s impressive.”

Angela wheeled around to see the one being that she could say that she hated. It was instinct to manipulate her hands in the mystic/alchemist patterns she had learned. Dean once teased her and said she looked like Dr. Strange and she took it in good humor saying that Dr. Strange had nothing on what she could do. It was a substitute to bare fists and either would work on Lucifer since she had beat up a couple of angels in her lifetime. “And what will be impressive is you still alive after I skin you.”

There was no love lost between Angela and Lucifer. Sam harbored a deep seated fear and she didn’t blame him since she knew what he went through. She went through the same thing and it only made her angry. Lucifer knew that and didn’t expect her to be receptive to any proposition he made even though she offered a kindness when Asmodeus had him and Castiel imprisoned. He replied in his usual manner, “And I’m sure it will look pretty. You always were the violent one for someone made of everything that dear Dad was.”

“Only with you since you tortured me and my mate in hell and for becoming mates,” Angela retorted with a narrow look.

“And I’m sorry about that. But it made you stronger right?” At the look of murder he was receiving, Lucifer amended that, “I guess not.” Then he winced, “Oh right. I forgot I tricked you, well mostly Sam, back into the Cage with me, and I knew you wouldn’t let him go alone.”

Angela was not amused by Lucifer. She only saw what he would do to get what he wanted and he didn’t care whom he had to hurt. “Only because I wanted another shot at you.”

“Please do me the courtesy of not lying to me. I never lied to you,” Lucifer countered. He straightened up and looked around. “I did love you once. Still do, but I get how that will never be. Still fun to try.”

“What do you want?”

Lucifer gave a slow smile. “Well, I’m guessing you know Sam here and Dean and a few others have come here to save you, Mary Winchester and Jack. And looks like they are down one.” He gestured at Sam’s corpse, grinning. He paused though and stared at it before a lightbulb clicked, “Or is he?”

Angela growled in her throat. She adjusted her hands slightly but still held them ready to execute the spell she had in mind. “Leave him alone.”

“And what are you going to do? Bring him back?” Lucifer asked the questions in mocking tones. He had to hand it to Angela when she didn’t flinch. “News flash, sister: The only thing keeping Sammy there from moving on is you.”

“He can move on if he wants.”

“Then why are you here? And don’t lie.” Lucifer made a face at her. When she didn’t speak, he continued, “See, I know that there is a part of you keeping Sam alive and you are too, but you really can’t do anything in this form and I doubt you are fast enough to get from wherever your body is asleep, in a trance, whatever.”

Angela didn’t back down from her stance, but she did ask, “What are you implying?”

“Just that while you can’t bring your precious mate back to the actually world of the living, I might be in a position to do so.” Lucifer gestured at himself like it was no big deal. “Of course…”

“What is your price?”

“Do you have to interrupt?”

Lucifer had advanced towards her with a pout on his face and found himself getting slapped. It wasn’t the fact that it hurt. It did. He knew Angela could pack a punch. The shock was that she _slapped_ him, and it didn’t sound like her at all. He held his cheek, surprised that she was able to make a hit on him since technically she was a spirit. He looked at her and said in shock, “You slapped me.”

“Personal space.”

“You _slapped_ me!”

Angela let her eyes flare slightly as she grinned, “Man up you big baby.”

Lucifer couldn’t believe she slapped him. It was in line with being a female but it felt like an insult. It occurred to him that was the intention since she would normally punch someone in the face. He cradled his cheek and continued, “Anyway, price. Jack.”

“No.”

“Wait, hold on,” Lucifer held out his hands in a placating gesture. “Look, I want a lot of things but what I want, is a relationship with my son. I mean, you know what that is like. You’re a mom…”

Lucifer found himself flung against the wall and was surprised the tunnel didn’t collapse. He looked up at Angela who was holding her stance again. Her eyes were flaring and there seemed to be a shadow that was encircling her. She said, “Don’t compare yourself to me.”

Lucifer held his hands up, “Alright, here’s the deal. I bring Sam back and you let me see my son. I know he won’t unless there is someone he trusts there.”

“And I don’t think so.”

Lucifer couldn’t help the grin when he saw her wince in pain. It was then he noticed a flickering sheen over Sam’s body. And advantage. “See? You can’t sustain this form for long. It’s a miracle you have this long since you and I both know what happens. Look, I’ll bring back Sam and you’ll be introductions. One way or another I’ll see him and take him.”

Angela let Lucifer’s words sink in. She knew that there wasn’t much time left. She could only hold onto Sam’s soul for so long and Lucifer was right. She didn’t have the ability to bring him back. She couldn’t even heal him in that state. She hated Lucifer for that. It wasn’t his fault she was in that state, but he was tying her hands. She knew it and he knew it. She looked at Sam’s body and closed her eyes in defeat. Sam would surely be pissed at her for this.

Lucifer watched the exchange. He knew she was going to give in. She knew she was thinking about other scenarios and none of them were giving her a different outcome than what he provided. “Come on, Angie. Are you willing to let Sam die and be gone forever just to keep me from seeing my son?”

Angela let out a pained breath. Sam was going to hate her for this. “Fine.”

“What was that?” Lucifer mocked her by putting a hand to his ear.

Angela grimaced as she glared at Lucifer as she said, “I will let you see Jack.”

Lucifer grinned. He smacked his hands together. His victory was short lived when she said, “Terms are this: You bring Sam back. I will let you see Jack provided Sam makes it out of here alive. He will have the choice of whether or not to help you. Once you arrive at our camp, I will allow you to see him but I can’t and won’t control what Jack will do. And if you do anything to hurt him…”

Lucifer realized she had grown a spine and it was scary as hell. He watched as the shadow twirled around her and darkened. It cast dark shadows across her features as she glared at him, her eyes flaring. She meant business and if he wanted to be fair about it, she was giving him a fair deal. “Uh, I…”

“You said you wanted a relationship with your son, that has to be earned, Lucifer,” Angela replied with a firm look.

Lucifer knew he was beat. He wasn’t going to get a better deal than this though he tried, “And If I don’t agree, you’re willing to let Sam die?” When she didn’t answer, he realized, “You’re serious, aren’t you? You’re willing to let your daughter grow up without her father? Why?” He frowned in confusion.

“Terms. Take it or leave it.”

Lucifer studied her. Even though she was weakening, she still had a presence there. He couldn’t believe it. He was beat. “Fine. Terms accepted, but I’m not kissing you and you _will_ owe me a favor.”

“Only the terms set.”

Lucifer sighed in annoyance. “Fine. Deal.”

“Word is bond.” Angela gave a smirk and said an incantation.

Lucifer watched as light flickered that wasn’t natural light or anything. He knew she had invoked a type of bonding spell. Curses on whoever thought it was a good idea to teach her spells and magic. He pouted as he watched her turn to look at Sam with a pensive look and one that looked like it was an apology. Too much drama for him.

Angela was sorry she had done what she had done. Maybe it was a weakness, but the truth was she wasn’t ready to let Sam go. No one ever was really but she didn’t want to. It was her selfish side that influenced her decision. She sighed as she returned to her body as she felt Sam’s life being restored. She took a deep breath and looked around.

_You okay?_

She looked at the boy signing frantically at her. She signed that she was okay, but well aware that she was going to have to explain. The first thing though was to get back to camp. That was where Sam was heading once he made his decision. She closed her eyes as she walked back towards Dayton.

She hated that she put Sam in that position. She knew full well that he feared being near Lucifer again. Things happened in hell that he couldn’t tell her but she was shrewd enough to guess without having to put the pressure on him. He would be pissed at her and probably see it as a betrayal or a throwing him to the wolves. It probably was that.

She could lie and not say anything, but that would blow up in their faces. Lucifer was not above hinting and revealing and would do so in a manner that benefitted him. No, she would have to tell Sam. She would have to bear the hurt look and the look of anger. Then there was Jack to contend with. She was going to have to explain why she did what she did. She had backed herself into a corner and she was going to have to reap the so called benefits of it.

It was on her mind as she led the way back to camp. She answered the boy’s questions as best as she could but her mind was on one thing. She knew Sam was moving and he was looking for her. No doubt he didn’t understand what happened to him and would have questions. How would she answer them? She didn’t know but she knew she had to and…

It was like breathing in cold air the moment she entered the camp. It was crisp and stung because it was so clear. She saw Sam enter the camp alive and well. She saw everyone else’s looks of surprise, wondering what happened. Then he spotted her.

She couldn’t hide and it wasn’t like she wanted to. She did have the desire to run towards him and her primal instincts were urging her to but she knew where that would go. She could smell the same thing on Sam. A time she cursed having a sharp sense of smell. She could smell desire and when she smelled Sam’s… it was hard to resist. She did though as she walked forward with a calm she didn’t feel. She was happy to see him and he was her but he was confused. She sensed it because he knew her reactions so well and could tell when she was forcing herself to ignore it.

She advanced towards him, ignoring everyone watching until she was within reaching distance. She took a couple of sniffs to reassure herself that it was him. That Lucifer had so far kept up with his side of the bargain. She couldn’t resist and leaned forward and sniff his neck near her mark on him. She felt his breath on her neck and knew he was sniffing her too. It was then she heard, “I’m sorry.”

She knew then and there that he had agreed to help Lucifer. She could find comfort in that he made the choice but she had put him in that position. She saw Lucifer as he emerged, grinning and looking at Jack. To comfort Sam, she moved to pass him and stand shoulder to shoulder. She gave a gentle rub with the back of her fingers on the left side of his neck. She couldn’t voice it but managed to send, _You have nothing to be sorry for. If anything, I am the one that is sorry._

She sensed the confusion as he processed her words. She lowered her hand and looked at Lucifer. She made the bargain and now she had to live with it. She hoped that maybe she might have forgiveness from this. She replied to Lucifer’s greeting, “I am not your pretty.”


	24. 13.22 Light's Exodus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel steps up to the plate to buy the Winchesters time to get out. Tag to Exodus.

It had been a long time since Gabriel had truly seen his Cat’s abilities. True he had seen what she had done as she grew up from the cute little four year old, to the ‘wild teenager’, and into the woman who had seen more than what anyone should have to in terms of humanity and human suffering, including her own. He had watched over her since he found her. Even when they parted ways long ago. Yet, the last time he saw her full capabilities was a time she didn’t even remember, but that was a different time.

In honest truth, Gabriel didn’t know what was going to happen when he came face to face with her. He explained to Sam what he had done; that he had locked a part of his grace in the amulet Sam wore after making a pact with Nathir, Celtic god of wisdom, as a sort of contingency should he have to make a hasty exit like his faked death. He had poured his good memories into that essence and pretty much helped when he coped with the melding. He told Sam that he had done it because he loved her and didn’t want her to be alone and sad.

Sam took it pretty well and Gabriel realized that Sam had grown just as attached to his doppelganger and he knew Sam was truly at ease and happy when his Cat felt the same. He had no idea how she would take it. But she surprised him. She surprised him by whispering that she had known all along that his ‘kiddie self’ wasn’t really him, but she appreciated it and it served as a light the past few years. It relieved Gabriel but he noticed a few things that he couldn’t place.

The Apocalypse world that she had been in the past few months was nothing like home. Knowing his Cat, she would have adapted and, as it turned out, she did. She fought for the people there and it looked like she taught them a few things, and she picked up a few things. Of course he didn’t see that until later.

It was crazy but also probably one of the better ideas the Winchesters had. Taking the resistance back home to get the firepower and then come back to kick the hell out of their world’s Michael, maybe kill him… sounded full of promise even though they were running on a time schedule with the rift that the witch Rowena opened. In the end, the vote was cast and the entire camp opted to go through the rift. A challenge, but they made it work. Until Michael showed up.

They managed to get everyone through except for him, Sam, Dean, Lucifer, and of course, his Cat. Three of the people that they were trying to get through were taken out by one of Michael’s fireballs. Gabriel was certain that a real fight was going to be on their hands. He had noticed his Cat tensing up and recognized the look in her eyes. It made him feel protective and he moved a little bit towards her, but made sure not to crowd her.

Seeing Michael, even though it wasn’t his Michael, he was intimidated and felt a trembling of fear. Michael was formidable. Archangels were in general but Michael had been built to be a warrior. He was the Messenger. Very different. And just throw Lucifer into the mix.

Gabriel was not very generous towards his brother. Too many memories and of course resentment. He meant what he said about humanity. They were beautiful and innocent in the beginning and they tried. It was upsetting that Lucifer corrupted them so and it was a fitting analogy to describe him as a cancer. But he had to admit that Lucifer did end up surprising him.

Even not at full power, Lucifer was formidable as Michael. He went at him and gave as hard as he got. Maybe he was trying to impress his son, Gabriel didn’t know. Maybe he cared a little, but he wasn’t overly generous. He could admit that he felt a little worried that Michael managed to beat Lucifer down; it was like when Michael cast Lucifer out. Lucifer was down and moaning in pain and it looked like Michael was just getting started. Until she came.

Gabriel could pride himself on the fact that he taught his Cat everything he knew about fighting angels. He taught her Enochian and different spells. True she would have known this when she was an angel but Dad made her forget everything related to angels. And he drudged it up when he found her and took it upon himself to protect her. Part of that was teaching her how to deliver a punch and make a full powered angel feel it. More specifically, make an archangel feel it.

It was a complete surprise, and it seemed Michael was surprised too, when he was knocked backwards. He landed on his behind and he looked like someone had just stepped on his dog’s tail or however that expression went. Gabriel though recognized the look. It could be jokingly called a universal one since it was one that said they recognized someone that was stronger and could possibly kill them. And that was certainly the look on his Cat’s face as she stood in attack position. And she hadn’t even drawn her weapons yet.

Michael was back on his feet and grinning at her and nodding, “Now I know you. I killed you myself.”

“Heard that line before.”

It was like watching two bulls fighting when they collided. Gabriel knew that it was going to be a fight to the death. It was apparent that his Cat had picked up a few new tricks even after having a baby. She was quicker than he remembered and she put her full body strength into each blow. What seemed to stun everyone there, except for Sam maybe, when the wisps of smoke swirled around her body and Gabriel could see the faint outlines of wings, angel wings, emerging from her back. They were faint and they faded before anyone could get a good look but Gabriel saw them.

Gabriel had to admit that he felt a little ashamed and upset that she rushed in to help Lucifer. He even noticed how she had a fairly decent conversation with him a couple of times. He couldn’t understand it since he knew Lucifer had tormented her in hell, tortured her physically, mentally and emotionally and it followed her out of hell. Lucifer hurt her, and yet she was… nice to him. It certainly baffled Dean and, to some extent, Sam. Jack followed her lead and Mary Winchester gave Lucifer a bop on the nose. It was one of those times that he couldn’t really understand what she was doing.

_That old adage ‘an eye for an eye’? It only perpetuates the worst in humanity. Turning the other cheek… now that is being strong._

Gabriel watched as she took on Michael as he thought about what she once told him a long time ago through a prayer when she looked for him. It was dead even but even he knew that she would need to make a run for it. She wasn’t completely all the way there. Or maybe she was and, like her nature, didn’t want to use it. In either case, he knew what he needed to do. It’s what he had been doing in all the years he knew her in this life.

“Sam, Dean, when you get the chance, take Cat and go,” Gabriel said as he watched the fight. If he had to do it, he would and it would piss her off. But only because he loved her.

“Gabe…” Sam’s voice broke softly.

Gabriel looked at the Winchesters, “I’m not running anymore. I’ll buy you some time.”

It was probably foolish since he wasn’t completely at full power but it was enough. And it was because he felt her ‘heal’ him. It stunned him when he felt it through the hug they shared when she saw him, but he didn’t say anything. He suspected she didn’t want that broadcasted and was going to respect that. He didn’t know that she had done that for Castiel once before and for another angel that she had been upset with but ended caring about. In the end, it was time he stepped up to being what he had been half assed about.

It was probably a low and dirty trick. No shit, it was. Gabriel had moved to be with her like he was going to join in to help when she backed up from delivering a punch to Michael’s jaw. She joked, “Joining in on the fun, Gabe?”

Gabriel didn’t like doing this to her and said, “No. Taking your place.”

Gabriel had prided himself on teaching her everything about angels. He certainly got a kick out of the fact that she could stun just about anyone with her first two fingers. He taught her that and he used it against her as he tapped her on the forehead. It wasn’t enough to knock her out but enough to disorient her and pass her off to the Winchesters.

It was probably foolish and he heard her actually cuss at him in Enochian of all things. It made his being feel lighter. He knew though that he had stunned her enough so she wouldn’t get away from the Winchesters and they had little brother Castiel to help. He looked at Michael who was looking at him with a mocking expression and lifted his archangel blade to be ready.

“So you take out a friend, _her_ , of all people just so you can fight me?”

It sounded worse than the reasons he told himself but Gabriel didn’t give this other world Michael the satisfaction. What Loki had told him hit to the core and he knew that his Cat would say that he had stepped up to the plate and he fought for something. He had fought for her, protected her from things far worse than big bad Lucifer. It was just luck of the crappy assed draw she had to suffer his older brother. As he declared, he was on her side, but did that really count?

“I know who she is,” Michael taunted, “And if you think you can squirrel her away… think again. I will find her like I did the last time and kill her, because she thinks these pathetic humans are worth saving.”

Gabriel glared at Michael. He understood where Sam was coming from when she had been threatened, beaten, or whatever. He knew that feeling quite well. He held his blade up and pointed at Michael, “You won’t touch her. When, the time comes… she will kill you. And you can’t imagine what she is capable of.”

It was a mistake for Michael to snort at that. Gabriel knew that he was hardly impressed by what he had seen so far of Cat, but he knew her. He knew she was a slow burning fuse and when it went off… It was why he bound that part of her long ago and released it when he did. He hoped that the Winchester’s idea would work, but he got the feeling that he wasn’t going to be around to see it. And that was okay. He was done running away. He was going to stand up and buy them time to get back home.

It was not like old times since he remembered sparring with his real brother. This was not like that and it took everything Gabriel knew to keep up and defend against this Apocalypse world Michael. He was unprepared though for the shrieking scream and the pulse in the ground that came from his Cat the moment Michael plunged his blade into his chest.

As he fell back, he could only feel the urge to grin because he knew that Michael didn’t expect that. She was angry but she would forgive him, hopefully. Her screech was still resounding in his ears as they escaped through the rift.

_That’s it, Cat. You’ll be fine and… I’m sorry._


	25. 13.22 Devil of a Journey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angela and Lucifer have a conversation regarding his attempts to connect with Jack. Tag to Exodus.

“So...”

Angela looked at Lucifer as he looked at her with a look. His wrists were bound with the angel cuffs, but it wasn’t like he would get away with anything. She knew it and he knew it. She would be on his ass before he thought about it. Still, he hadn’t done anything worthy of getting a beating though she couldn’t resist smirking when Mary punched him in the face. She replied, “So, what?”

“So,” Lucifer replied, a little annoyed that she wasn’t going to do her read between the lines thing. “You got nothing to say? About me trying to connect with my son?”

“What do you want me to say?”

Angela leaned against the old junker at the salvage yard that brought back memories, good and bad. Even though it wasn’t the yard from her world, it still was there. She crossed her arms over her chest, not worried that she was walking with a chakram on her belt, her sword on her back and a gun in a holster on her belt. Lucifer would have no use for those things and he learned the hard way not to mess with Absolution. She looked at the fallen angel with a raised brow.

Lucifer looked at her as she looked at him. So far, the only thing she had done, was give a bland and firm look. She didn’t say anything about him nor say anything about his attempts at trying to impress Jack. Rather, she just observed and went about business like nothing was out of place. It was disconcerting. He pushed, “Well… maybe that I’m overcompensating or I’m playing too much the victim. Everyone seems to be saying it lately.” He pouted.

Angela’s expression turned to a bemused expression as she shifted slightly. “Why do I need to repeat what everyone has been saying?”

“Did you turn into a shrink when I wasn’t looking?”

Angela chuckled at that and looked up at the night sky. She shook her head slightly and looked back at the devil, “Lot you can learn when you spend time with people. And it helps when you’ve gone through something similar.”

“What? Feeling like a leper? Shunned by family?” Lucifer looked at her like she couldn’t possibly know what it was like.

“The feeling like a leper part,” Angela agreed with a nod. “Considering that the choices I’ve made have made friends and enemies on both sides.” She stared pointedly at the devil.

Lucifer scoffed at that and looked away. “Please, considering I know you from way back when.” He looked at her. “You don’t know the feeling. Dad locking me away for telling the…”

Angela pressed a hand against Lucifer’s mouth, giving a gentle expression. She stared him in the eye, leaving her hand against his mouth. “You don’t need to repeat it. I’ve heard it enough.” She removed her hand.

“But…”

Angela held her hand up in warning. Lucifer closed his mouth. She waited until she was certain he wouldn’t speak to start talking, “You want to know why everyone from Dean to Gabe have been… rebuffing your attempts to connect?”

“I know why. They…”

“You’re trying too hard to make yourself into something that more or less is not you,” Angela continued as if she hadn’t been interrupted.

She didn’t have to raise her voice or anything like that. It was simply the tone that it was uttered in. It commanded authority and Lucifer backed down. In normal circumstances, he would have felt slighted for that. Then again he felt trembles every time she opened her mouth. The only time he ever felt completely confident was when he had her restrained in hell. When she said what she said, he felt like a child being berated. Sure Gabriel and Castiel and Dean certainly made their opinions known, but what she said… it hurt.

Angela seemed to sense that and her featured contorted to like that of a mother soothing hurts. She sighed softly and continued, “Making your children proud of you is letting them see and know all of you.”

“That’s what I’m doing.”

Angela shook her head in a disappointed fashion. “No you’re not.”

Lucifer sighed at that and asked, “Okay, then what should I say? That Dad punished me for mouthing off?”

“You left out the fact that you corrupted humans. Turned them to disobedience,” Angela replied softly as she crossed her arms over her chest. She looked at Lucifer with a look of disappointment. “You’re trying to make yourself look good.”

“Well you sure are doing a great job,” Lucifer deadpanned. He gestured at her and added, “You practically got him to call you ‘mother’.”

“But I didn’t lie about who I am and what I am,” Angela countered as she pointed at herself. She had leaned forward and stared at Lucifer in the eye. “Jack knows that I have killed people, good and bad. He knows that I can appear ruthless; he has witnessed it here. And he knows that I love my family more than anything and would do anything to protect them. He knows my flaws, my weaknesses and my strengths. In the end… he decided for himself.”

Lucifer stared at her as she basically laid down the law with him. He shook his head in disbelief, “So you’re telling me that you were just yourself and poof Jack grew attached to you.”

“Probably because of the fact that the moment we met I just treated him like everyone else. With kindness and respect.”

“Wait,” Lucifer waved his hands in disbelief, “You were nice to him?”

“Yeah.”

“So just being nice got Jack to…”

“Goes a long way.”

“And the fact that he could probably beat you… Didn’t it scare you?” Lucifer peered at Angela.

Angela saw the incredulous look and couldn’t help but laugh. It was funny and yet not since Lucifer was trying to figure out what she did that made her relationship with Jack what it was. She knew that he heard Jack call her ‘Mother’ but she didn’t say anything and didn’t deny it. It was what it was. She frowned a little and her brow raised a fraction, “Scared of Jack? No.”

“No?” Lucifer was confused.

Angela sighed and looked around. She saw Gabriel watching them and he wasn’t looking overly pleased. She knew though that he would respect her decision. He didn’t always understand the methods to her madness but he trusted her like he was now despite the baggage that the still unspoken between them. At least from his end of things. She looked back at Lucifer and replied, “No. I wasn’t scared of Jack when I first met him. I was scared for him.” She peered at the devil and added, “That is part of being a parent, Lucifer. You support their passions, be there as a helping hand when they fall and are trying to get up. It’s how a person grows. Jack has never needed to prove himself to me or to Sam and Dean.”

“So you weren’t freaked out if he accidentally sent someone flying through the room?”

“The first time he did it, I told him to stop.” Angela peered at Lucifer, gauging his reaction. “I just stepped in the role. I didn’t and don’t care what he is. I do care about who he is. In the end… it was his choice to call me ‘Mother’. He told me that he didn’t love his real mom any less and hearing that… made the decision to accept his logic and allow it.”

“You always were one to let people make their choices.”

“And it’s one of the great things about humanity, Lucifer,” Angela replied with a pensive expression on her face. “Free will, choices… just shows the range of capability. You were so intent on showing that it was worthless that you failed to see the beauty.”

“But they always make a choice that…” Lucifer made a gesture, not really spelling it out but he knew Angela would understand it.

“True. But we try. That is the great thing.” Angela shifted and looked at Lucifer before adding, “You want the honest truth about why Jack is accepting and has a relationship with me and the boys, I told you. We explained yes but we gave both sides of things. He knows me for who I am and what I am. The same with Sam and Dean. In the end, he made up his own mind.

“If you want a relationship with your son, then you need to stop playing up to him. He is not an impressionable kid. He is a young man capable of evaluating what he sees and making a decision and if he is confused, he will ask about it and expects a truthful answer. Not the twisted version to make someone look good. If you want Jack to really know you, then you need to let him see you for all you are.”

Lucifer looked at Angela as she stared at him, “But… what if he… doesn’t like me.”

“I would think he wouldn’t like you for not telling him everything.” Angela put her hands on her hips. She stared at Lucifer with that firm look she did when she was issuing orders to the rebels. “Lucifer, doing what you’ve been doing… It will not go well for you in the end. A good father humbles himself to admit that he may not have made all the right decisions. The job of a father is to teach his son how to be a man and more importantly a good person.” She sighed and shook her head and added, “Look, be angry at Chuck for all you want but don’t blame him for the choices you made.”

“Easy for you to say. He granted your wish and wiped out everything you were as an angel. He took your grace, your memories…” Lucifer spat back but there was little fire in his retort.

“According to Chuck, and a few others, I wanted it to end. In the end, he didn’t grant me my wish but took away the pain I endured. Sent me to earth and I lived obviously as a reincarnated soul.” Angela shrugged her shoulders at that. “Makes no difference to me since I don’t remember and don’t care to. My focus is on here and now. And believe me, it’s not easy when you have resentments that pop up.”

Looking around, Angela looked up at the night sky. She breathed in the air and tilted her head to listen to the sounds. “Well I better get back to patrolling.”

Lucifer watched as she left. He was hesitant but then he called out, “Angela, wait.”

Angela paused. It was a first that Lucifer didn’t call her a pet name that she hated coming from anyone else but her mate. She turned to look at the devil and asked, “What is it Lucifer?”

Lucifer took in the look. It was not in anger. There was kindness in her expression. He opened his mouth and struggled with what he wanted to say. Finally, he asked, “Will it help? If I really show who I am?”

Angela studied the devil. She could lie and say that it would but that would be a disservice. True she was upset at the bargain she had struck to save Sam, but she didn’t sense deception at Lucifer wanting to connect with Jack. She was wary since she had history but… “I can’t say for certain. But at least it will be honest with Jack.”

“And is that really the best policy?”

“Usually is for all people. Some things are secret for a reason but that is where trust comes in. Trust builds upon what a person knows of another. Of all of them,” she answered honestly.

It wasn’t exactly promising but Lucifer realized that was all he was going to get from her. “Okay. You better… better get back to patrol. Don’t want these people thinking you’re a shirker,” he said with a grin. He changed it when Angela didn’t smile and added, “Not that you would.”

Angela gave a slight grin and said, “We may be on opposite sides of the fence, Lucifer, based on past history. But if you are sincere in your desire… consider what I have said and what others have said. Keep an eye out too.” She gave a gentle smile and walked away.

Lucifer blinked. That conversation wasn’t what he expected from her. He half expected her to be like Gabriel and stick it to him. She had her resentments against him. Oh he knew it and she had wanted to rip him a new one for putting her in the position to agree to help him and he used Sam to do it. Yet, she was… sort of nice about it. She was upset but she still gave him the time of day and when she spoke… He would have to think about it since he wasn’t so sure and he didn’t have as high of an opinion on humans as she did. He had time even if they were on a clock to get out of this place.


	26. 13.23 Let the Good Times Roll Take 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean said yes to Michael and the bastard back stabs him. Angela gets a boost that could prove dangerous and Michael's match. Tag to Let the Good Times Roll.

_Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear._ – Mark Twain

_My name, my real name, is Catalina Sophia Carmela de Medici. I was born to Theresa de bella de Medici and Armand de Palladino. I was born the daughter of a human mother and a vampire father, made, not by choice. I am one of the sub-races known from the Romani term dhampir. Romantic lore calls any of us halflings Shadow Chasers, like we are seeking something we will never obtain because we are neither human nor supernatural creature. That is the mortal form I was born into and for five hundred plus years I’ve lived that form, being a champion of humanity and always alone. Until I met the Winchesters. Until I met him._

_It was like something clicked the moment I latched onto those mossy green eyes that held gentleness and persistence. I had been alone for so long that I didn’t recognize it for what it was and I am certain he didn’t know either. And perhaps it was a good thing. It allowed us to get closer and get to know each other until I realized that I found my home. I found my family._

_We were family. We lived and fought for each other, had each other’s back. True we did things that hurt each other and drove us apart on multiple occasions, but we always came back to each other. We are family. That was driven home when they came to rescue me. When Sam came and rescued me. From that became much more._

_Maybe it was the worst timing, but no regrets. I never regretted taking that step with Sam. We’ve always done things together. It was our way of saying that we love each other. Most of the time it is silent acknowledgment, but it is nice to hear at times. Always and forever was our way to face whatever came our way including the things of near apocalyptic proportion and those that were very life changing._

_We went through hell together, literally and nothing could prepare us for the news that we were to be parents even though we already sort of were with the doppelganger Gabriel set up for me. I figured that out the moment a kid version of mio fratello, my brother, appeared after the loophole spell set what he concocted free. I never said anything because I wanted to hold onto someone who looked out for my pretty much all my life. Even when we had our falling out, he checked up on me and protected me. Now he’s dead truly but there were others that relied on us like Jack and my beautiful baby._

_I gave our daughter her name for two people that mattered to me. Jessica for Sam’s girlfriend from Stanford and my friend. She drew me out even though I tried to keep the boundaries when I agreed to be her tutor. Mary for the best friend and the mother of my mate, my Sam. A name full of memories, good times, and feelings of love. She is someone I would protect with my life, to the point that I took her away from the bunker when the British Men of Letters came to town._

_It was painful because I was taking her away from home and from her father. I didn’t want to be away from him, my mate. It was motherly instinct that drove me to protect our baby since I didn’t trust them. It didn’t help that I had to work with the Brits, but I helped to set Mary free and led to the birth of Jack, the son of Lucifer. The boy I took to like he was my own and ended up being his guardian._

_Ending up in the other world with Mary brought us closer on some level but it wasn’t exactly happy families. We had to fight and protect the people from the angels led by Michael. He is like those extremists thinking we all need saving and he is willing to burn the world to get it. He is as selfish as Lucifer in that respect. Thinking that everything revolves around them to the exclusion of everything else. And to think that I thought Lucifer would change._

_I can’t say that Sam did the right thing leaving Lucifer behind when we took twenty plus people of that world back through the rift. I don’t remember much of it except for the fight with Michael. That archangel bastard killed three people. Lucifer helped out a little but he wasn’t at full power and I jumped in. It had always been that way; I jump into the fight especially when angels are involved. I have Gabriel to thank for that._

_Gabriel._

_He was the reason I don’t remember much except for when he stunned me. A part of me thinks that it should be angry at him for what he had done, but the pain of grief drowns it out. It is for real this time. I lost my guardian to what he had always done, protecting me. The proof is in the throbbing pain in my shoulder. It will fade, but it is just another memory to my soul in its long existence, and there were people counting on me._

_As a dhampir, I have sensitivity to smells and sounds. Both were amplified over the years and some through supernatural means. I also have a sensitivity to the supernatural. Call it a gift or a curse, but it became a major staple when it came to going on the hunt. It also became the means to realize the fact that Lucifer had returned and he wasn’t alone. The chaos from the other world had followed us home._

_Lucifer ended up showing his true colors as always. Perhaps it is my nature to see the best in everyone. We did have a conversation regarding Jack and being a parent and he seemed genuine enough. Then again they don’t call him the deceiver for nothing. And he was selfish, considering what he had done to Jack._

_I knew Jack was special. I have met a few Nephilim in my years. I have even helped them hide from the angels since they are still considered to be abominations. To me, they are still people and have a right to make their choices. If it happens to be like the things I hunt, then I take care of it. Jack was Nephilim, but he was a powerful one and capable of probably things that could only be imagined and was the thing that Lucifer wanted the most. And he took it._

_I can’t tell you what happened. I’m not even sure of it myself. It feels like those clichés of white light and then… I remember fighting Lucifer. I remember standing between him and… Even as I now think about it, it was a blur. It was going on instinct for the most part. Trainings from long ago came to the front. Every little thing I was taught from basic spells to the Alchemy circles and the elemental magic to the physical training in all manner of close quarter combat and weapons training rose to the surface, including some abilities that were foreign but felt right._

_Though I was raised as a lady, combat had always made me feel at home. Battle based in justice and righteousness I charged into the fray. It has been the basis of everything, the overwhelming desire to make things right. Even when I was at my most low and in darkness, it was the light that guided me. It was also something that told me to keep my search for the missing part of my soul. The part that is connected to my Sam. And I was determined to right the wrong that was Lucifer, but I wasn’t alone._

_I knew it was Michael the moment I felt it. It was Michael but it was also one that was near and dear to me. The one who had been like a big brother to me all these year. I knew the moment my senses were flooded with the scent that Dean Winchester said yes to Michael. The Michael from the world that he destroyed in his misguided self-righteousness. It was pain in my heart but thrust aside to achieve the goal that every fiber of my being was crying out to do._

_It was like when Azazel was killed. My great white whale had been killed. Lucifer, my second white whale had been killed. The deed was done and now it seemed like there was nothing left but to find a new white whale. But that was not really so._

_Lucifer was dead. The thing that killed him… I can still see and feel the radiance of the power I felt. I felt my heart crumble when I realized the truth. And it still holds true to me before it happened._

_I can’t recall details. All I can remember is a surge of power entering my body. The last time that happened was when I got a booster shot of fresh blood and a friend gave up her immortality. That surge brought to the surface abilities that I had never used before and hadn’t really used since. Everything that I had used against Lucifer and in the other world was a result of what I had been trained in by Lord Shiva. He was the closest to teaching me about the power of souls and it took me over four hundred or so years to get it right._

_After that surge… everything was different. I felt different. Like there was a hole that I never knew about that was suddenly filled. No… not that… It felt like something complemented what I already knew, what I already am. There are things inside of me that… feel happy that it found something. I don’t know. But I know the feeling._

_It is a feeling I have felt only twice before. Both times it was because someone loved me enough to risk the unknown to save me. It was the feeling of grace. Angelic grace. Twice I have felt it and twice I had not been rejected by it but cleansed by it. A rare thing I later learned. It certainly drives the point that Amara made about me and what Chuck confirmed; that I was once an angel._

_Now there is something alive inside of me. I don’t know what it is, but it is familiar and while I am scared about what it means, I am not scared that I have it. It is a brave new world and one that will more than likely bring more challenges and uncertainties than I would be comfortable with. Only because of my family._

_By the time you read this journal, Sam, you are probably getting back from wherever we were because Lucifer zapped us there and Michael is gone and I pulled that disappearing act I did when Lucifer had been set free. There is no easy way to say this but… I have a new white whale to hunt and… I don’t know if it would be a good idea involving you, Cas, Mary and Bobby. With everything that has happened to us and to me… I don’t want to risk the welfare of my family and our baby._

_I know you are going to say that we should work together. That we are family and that is what we do. And I believe that firmly. Everything we’ve done, we’ve always done together. This though, I don’t know what is going to happen and… I can’t lose you. Not after truly losing Gabriel. Not again._

_I don’t know how this is going to work out. Michael is powerful because Dean is his true vessel just as you are… were… Lucifer’s. There isn’t an archangel more powerful than that. Except for maybe me, the earthbound angel. The one that has experience kicking angel ass. And with this new surge, this grace that is inside of me… we might have a chance._

_As I walk this earth, chasing my white whale, know that I think about you all the time. I think about our baby and of Jack and everyone else, and I love you all. You are my family, my strength. And I think the reason why I have lived as long as I have. Gabriel once told me that the source of everything I am is my heart and soul and I believe this to be true. Take care of Jess, Jack, and Cas. Look after your mother and the rest of our family and new friends._

_I don’t know what I will find on this search, but know that I will make a promise. I will do what I can to find Michael and bring Dean home. I love you. Always and forever._

****

The sky was overcast and it threatened rain but it held off like someone was glaring it into submission, if that were possible. Then again, maybe it was. There was still a lot about the unknown that could be revealed. Usually it was in a freaky ass way and often by surprise that would send people scrambling to try and contain or deal or… whatever term they wanted.

In this case, maybe the weather was held in check and by the lone figure walking down the side of the highway with only a very young dog for company. There was certainly enough in the posture alone to tell the weather to not mess with them even though something like that posture would have invited the rain. Paradoxical in nature but it seemed to fit the mood overall.

Angela kept a steady pace as she walked down the road. Her gaze was held in an almost perpetual frown but it held a hint of determination and concentration. It certainly hid what she truly was feeling about the state of current affairs. So the weather was perfect even though it seemed almost frightened of her.

She felt shitty about this but she knew it was the right thing. At least for now. As long as things were the way they were, things could get ugly and that would put everyone she cared about at risk. She looked down and shook her head. There was no way to sugar coat this. In Dean’s blunt way, she was ditching them. She basically walked out on Sam, leaving him with their year old baby, an emotionally traumatized Jack and… She was horrible.

But what was she to do?

She knew what it was that had been inserted into her. It was angelic grace. And not just any grace. It was hers. It was her grace because it felt familiar and the nice thing was that she didn’t explode like Anna, but she pulled the disappearing act to protect Sam and Jack from any possible effects like that. And she also knew that Michael betrayed Dean, went back on the deal they had made. She knew it had to have been a deal. Lucifer was dead but now there was an even greater threat.

She knew angels fairly well. She knew their mindset, at least the ones from this world. Michael was from the other world. He was an unknown and that was terrifying. It also made her angry. Angry because her beloved brother was going to pay for the consequences for a choice, he did out of desperation to save his family. Now she was doing the same.

A whine and a bark got her attention and she looked downward. She gave a slight smile to the yearling that had chosen her. He was a German Shepherd mix like others from Xander’s line. Proof that the hell hound blood took to his breed well. He had chosen her the moment she had come back and that was after Gideon died in the other world, defending the people they brought over. Unexpected, but she wasn’t going to question it.

The yearling gave another yip and Angela said, “I know. I feel like you do, Hamia.” She looked forward and continued, “A long and tiring road.”

This was probably going to truly test and maybe break what she and Sam had, but she had to do this. Until she had a better understanding, they were all at risk. It was better to be out here doing what she had done in the past. She would not bring danger to them. Resolved, her step became stronger as she continued forward.

_Angie, if you can hear this, whether as a prayer or through our bond… I understand. I understand why you feel you have to do this._

She paused when she heard it and looked upwards. She cocked her head and blinked slowly. Turning back to the road, she continued to walk.

_I am not angry. Never with you because I know that you made this choice with our best interests at heart, especially for Jess and Jack. But… Please… Don’t do this alone._

_I’m not asking you to come home. I know you want to figure out a few things in the freaky ass mojo department and you want it under control. I’m asking you to… let us help you. Work together to get Dean back._

Angela sighed as she listened to Sam’s prayer. She preferred to call it that since it didn’t feel like what they usually did. Her lower lip quivered as it became more and more evident that things were not going to be as they were. What happened to her changed everything and she was getting something more generous than she deserved.

_Please. Think about it. I know you’ll probably be reluctant to call or talk to me like we used to. So I’ll… check the journal you left me and I hope you check the other. I love you with all my heart. Always and forever… Sam._

Angela took a deep breath but didn’t make an attempt to wipe the tears away. This was definitely more than she deserved. No matter what she did, even when she tried to deliberately wreck their relationship, he still came after her and loved her. She did the same no matter the choices he made, like the demon blood thing. If that wasn’t love, then she didn’t know what was.

Hearing Sam’s words was better than the grace thrumming in her body. It was better than the blood he gave freely when she needed it. It allowed her to resume her pace with renewed vigor. She knew she couldn’t go back to being completely alone. Not after finding what she had been missing for so long and it built on from there. She wouldn’t waver from the promise she had made and aimed to keep. She would find Michael and bring Dean home.

“Always and forever, Sam,” she whispered as she continued on.


End file.
